please don't take my sunshine away...

Chapter Four.

Playlist Song: Unfuckwitable, Zayn

Fall 2015

The door opens smoothly and in its place stands Simon, with a fake smile plastered on his face. I pull Louis close into my side and see Simon look at us disgusted.
"Come in," he says. We all timidly walk into the large office and take a seat at the large round table. I grab a chair next to Louis and grab his hand in search of some kind of comfort. I have always felt unsafe in Simon's office because of the number of things that have happened in this room. I look over at Liam and give him a knowing nod.

"You're probably wondering why we made this meeting," Liam says, placing his clasped hands on the grey table.
"I was wondering that," Simon says with the same amount of confidence.
"We have something that we need to discuss with you," Niall says.
"And what would that be?" Simon asks.
"As you know we have been fighting with you for the entirety of this band on matters of our sexuality and the arbitrary ways we have been treated," Liam says.
"Just get to the point," Simon says clearly annoyed. "I don't have all day." I snicker, enjoying seeing the man I so truly hate aggravated with our educated words and answers.
"To put it simply Simon we're done," Louis says.
"Done with what?"
"With everything, you, the band, the mind you illegal ways you've been treating us," Louis says, gripping my hand tighter than ever and holding my gaze the entire time.

Simon looks at us like a piece of garbage lying on the streets of New York City.
"You all know that you don't have the authority to do that," he says glaring at all of us but especially me, Lou and Liam.
"You're treating it like we're asking you for permission. We're not asking you for anything. We came here to civilly tell you that we're done. The band's done and we expect it to be broken up by January," I say feeling proud of myself for standing up to the man that I have frightened for over five years. Simon looks at me flustered.
"You can't do that! The contract does not break until 2021!" he yells, standing up from his chair aggressively. I text Paul to wait outside the door in case something happens where Simon gets too violent which has happened once or twice in the past.
"We have researched and found that a member of a band under your company can decide to break up at any time and every single contract and piece of paper made will be disconnected once we join a new management," Liam says in a calmer, more professional manner.

Simon paces back and forth across the room. We all wait in anticipation for him to say something. After a few moments, Niall breaks the silence.
"You have put us in enough pain. You have broken us. We are giving you three months to figure out how to tell the public that One Direction is not coming back or we will leave you without warning," Niall says with tears in his eyes. I stand up and pull Louis up with me.
"Come on guys, let's go," I say, patting Niall on the shoulder. We all stand up and walk out of the immensely tense room into the bright hallway where Paul is waiting.

"What the hell do we do now?" Louis asks.
"We can't let them stomp all over us," Liam says. "We need to give them time and hold to our word," We all nod in agreement.
"The most important thing is that we all stick together," I say, pulling everyone in for a group hug. Louis is tucked close into my side and I kiss his soft hair.
"We're not gonna give up, alright?" I say.
"Bring it in lads," Liam says.
" 3. 2. 1. Keep Up!" We all say together our regular cheer since the beginning of the band.

We all walked down the long hallway back to the cars close together. No one saying a word just being in each other's comfort. Once we are all in our separate cars driving back to the hotel I feel like I can finally take a breath. I try to calm myself down by breathing deeply but all I can think about is the fact that even if the band is done, me and Louis could still be stuck in the contract for another six years. The same contract that breaks us apart day after day for the mere reason that Simon is so homophobic that he can't stand the fact that we are both two beautiful men in love. I sigh.

We arrived back at the hotel about fifteen minutes later. I see Niall walking into the building just before we pull up so I'm quick to get out and catch up to him.
'Bye Paul! Thank you for everything!" I say through the open passenger side window.
"Good luck Harry!" he says after me and I wave over my shoulder. I hear him slowly drive away as I walk through the glass doors. Niall stands in the lobby waiting for me. I walk over to him and we both walk to the elevator in silence. Once we step inside the large gold box that will bring us to the third floor Niall speaks.
"Have you talked to Zayn recently?" he asks.
"Yes, I talked to him this morning. He called me about the meeting," I say.
"I hope that he and Li can become close again," he says solemnly.
"Me too," I say. "I believe that Z is with Gigi again though, for real this time," Niall sighs.

A second later the elevator dings and the door opens to reveal the dim hallways with each of our rooms attached to them. We walk down the hallway to each of our rooms. We get to mine first labeled 128. I smile. The same number of Louis dorms so long ago. Me and Niall go our separate ways and I enter the hotel room. Louis is laying on the unmade bed watching football. My oversized hoodie he is wearing is pulled up slightly exposing his tan stomach.
"Hey Babe," he says, keeping his eyes on the TV. I smile and lay down next to him kissing his cheek affectionately. He smiles back at me and I snuggle up close to him. He wraps his small arm around me and I rest my head on his chest. I sigh contently. I hear him giggle.
"What are you giggling about?" I say teasingly poking him all over.
"Oh nothing darling," he says. I lift my head up on my elbows and lean forward to kiss him. His lips are soft and taste like cigarettes and sugar.
"I love you," I say looking into his eyes.
"I love you too," he says.

I lay back down and both of us sit and silence and watch the game. A couple of minutes later Louis speaks.
"What's the matter," he says knowingly sitting up so he can look at me.
"Nothing," I say quietly with my face smooshed into him.
"I know there's something up," he says, lifting my head so I'm forced to look at him.
"I guess I'm just stressed about the Simon thing," I finally say. "I feel like we worked hard to make that meeting exactly what we wanted and we didn't even get an answer from him," Louis listens intently and then nods.
"I know it's hard but I mean we didn't expect for it to just be over right then and there," he says. "We knew it would take time for us to split and we knew that Simon wouldn't be happy with us wanting to end the band," I tried to smile but failed terribly.
"You don't have to fake it around me," he says, kissing me softly.
"Let's just take this evening for ourselves and then we can figure it out in the morning. Okay?" he asks, kissing my hair.
"Okay," I say.

Later in the evening me and Louis are laying in bed enjoying each other's company when my phone starts ringing obnoxiously. I get out of bed wearing only my boxers and see that it's Simon calling. I put it on speaker and sit cross-legged on the bed.
"Hello," I say calmly.
"Harry, finally I got a hold of one of you," I ignored his comment.
"Get on with it then," I say irritatedly.
"I wanted to let you know that I talked to the team and we decided that we will let you guys go on an eighteen-month hiatus at the end of January," he says calmly.
"You can't fucking do that!" I say. Louis rubs my arm soothingly.
"As your manager, I actually can," he says. "Take it or leave it but I'm guessing you guys will want to come back after a year," I hung up on him then and there not wanting to hear another piece of crap from his mouth.

I can't fucking believe him. Us going on hiatus means that all of the contracts will still be in place, meaning me and Louis will be closeted for even longer. I feel my cheeks get wet and Louis pulls me into his arms. I break down. Crying and hyperventilating, not able to catch my breath. Louis holds me and rocks me back and forth as I cry. I hear him sniffle as well but he holds it in trying to stay strong for me. After a couple of minutes, I am finally able to breathe again and me and Louis lay down to go to sleep.
"We're gonna be okay," he whispers in my hair. I nod slightly and then feel his soft lips on my cheek.
"I love you so much," he says.
"I love you too Louis," I say.

"I'm in love with you," he sings, tapping me on the chest at the word "you".
"And all your little things," his voice is soft and angelic and swarms my head with butterflies.
I fall asleep to the sound of Louis' steady breathing behind me. His arm is rested across my bare chest and my larger hand covers his smaller one. I think about all of the things that we could do. If we were out that is. All of those little things that we could do together. We could get married. We could adopt kids. We could be happy. If only we could get out of this prison of a band.

Thank you all so much for reading.
All the love.
- Lilah Sage