please don't take my sunshine away...

Chapter Seventeen.

so so sorry i've been gone!

playlist song: the story, conan gray

September 2012

We pull up to a large white building. The front door is decorated with multiple arrays of flowers and different dresses and suits stand in the display windows.
"Wow," I say softly, opening my door and stepping out onto the small sidewalk. I hear Louis walk over beside me and we both look at the building in awe. Paul locks the car and we both walk into the building hesitantly. This is the first time in almost two years that we have been somewhere in public together, just the two of us. My stomach tingles with butterflies worried about people seeing us at a wedding store of all places. I can tell that Louis can sense my discomfort and he squeezes my hand lightly. I look over at him and smile. His blue eyes sparkle back.

When we step inside I feel as though I'm floating. Though it sounds cliche I have been dreaming about getting married for what seems like forever. And having the love of my life by my side makes it even better. I used to think that getting married was something that only happened perfectly. I used to think that every single marriage was made in the stars. Not to say that me and Louis were not fate but the world for sure doesn't seem to want us to be happy. Louis' thumb rubs gently over my pointer finger bringing me back to reality. I take a deep breath and the perfume smell of the store makes me calm down.

On a table beside us multiple bouquets of flowers rest in large granite vases and different lace ribbons line the walls. I smile timidly. Louis kisses my hand softly and I look over at him.
"It's okay," he says. I feel myself relax.
"We can be us here," I smile slightly and then he presses his lips lightly to mine. I hesitate and then kiss him back softly. He pulls away a second later. I smile and look down at the ground.
"I love you," he says, tipping my head up.
"I love you too," I say back. A large smile pulls at his lips and I can't stop thinking how beautiful he is.
"We're gonna get married," I whisper, pressing my forehead to his.
"We are," he whispers back. He pulls me into a tight embrace.

I look over my shoulder and see Paul look at us with tears in his eyes. I wink at him and he smiles sadly. A second later a woman approaches us. She had a name tag that reads Emily. She looks kind and happy.
"How can I help you today?" she asks.
"We would like to look at some of you planning things?" Louis says.
"Of course," Paul talks to her about our situation and because no one else was in the store she closes the doors for the time being. She was super chill about it and understood everything completely.
"So what would you like to look at first?" she asks.
"Well I was thinking that we would want to plan out most of it on our own but if you could help us get started on that that would be great," I say.

Emily shows us around the store and we look at multiple different options for center pieces and bow ties. Different flowers and tablecloths and laces and dresses. I can't help but feel overwhelmed with everything. I see multiple things that catch my eye and different things that interest me but I can't stop thinking that this is not what a love story is. Not to say that I have a perfect love story. But the truth is I have found my person and I wouldn't trade him for the world. I look over at Louis and see him looking up in awe at the flowers hanging from the arched ceiling. I smile. His hand rests softly in mine. I look away from him for a second and see Emily and Paul looking at us fondly. I blush and tuck myself safely in Louis' side.
"So what do you think?" she asks.
"I think we need to think over some things," I say. Louis looks at me and smiles.
"Okay! That sounds great!"Emily says. "I'll get you guys some catalogs and a planner and you can be on your way!" She goes behind the desk and grabs a few things before handing the stack of books to Louis and I.

We say our thank you's and goodbyes before heading back into the foggy London streets to head back home. I get in the car first and Louis gets in right behind me. I buckle into the middle seat so I can be close to him and he sits looking out the window. I rest my hand on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around me. I close my eyes and smile softly. I think that I realize that a love story isn't perfect and ours sure isn't. But a love story is something that you get to create on your own. I can't wait to see what me and Lou's love story holds. I'm going to marry him. I'm not sure where and how but I for sure know why. Because he is everything to me. And soon I will get to call him mine.

I fell asleep on the ride home with my head resting on Louis' shoulder. I feel the car stop beneath me and then soft fingers run through my hair. I stir softly and then open my eyes to see Louis looking over at me.
"We're home darling," he says and I sit up softly. I rub my eyes and hear Louis koo next to me. I smile and blush. Louis opens the door and pulls me out of the car by an outstretched hand. I step out onto the damp street and follow him to the front stoop of the large house. We wave goodbye to Paul and thank him as he drives away. I click open the door and walk down the hall to the door that leads to our part of the large manner. I smile at Louis over my shoulder as we walk into our home. He closes the door behind me and then turns me around and presses his lips to mine. I smile into the kiss and he pulls away softly to look at him.
"You're so pretty," he says, looking at me intently. I blush and then he presses his forehead to mine.
"I can't wait to call you mine," he says quietly.
"But I'm already yours," I whisper.
"I know," he says, kissing my head and then walking into the kitchen.

We sit at the island and open up all of the magazines and books that Emily gave us. We each point out different things that we like and laugh at the extravagant dresses and hair dos.
"You know I always thought I would get married to you," he says, turning to look at me.
"Me too," I say, biting my lip lightly. "What did you think it would be like?" I ask.
"Well you know," he says, leaning on his elbows and looking up at the ceiling. "We would get married in the field at your house. The same one that we had that picnic on and it started raining, and so we danced and sang until both of our clothes were soaked and the sandwiches were soggy," I smile fondly, remembering.

"We would have a small wedding with only our families and close friends. But it would be just as magical as a three hundred guest wedding," he closes his eyes. "You would walk down the aisle with a bouquet of flowers that you grow in our small garden and in my vows I would say the same words I have told you a thousand times before," he opens his eyes and looks at me.
"And what is that?" I ask.
"That the stars don't compare."
"You've never said that before," I say.
"I know," he says. "But I will one day." I feel tears form slightly in my eyes.
"I want to do that," I say.
"What?" he asks, wiping my tears softly with his thumbs as his hands cup my face.
"I want to live your fantasy," I say. He looks up at me and then presses his lips to mine.
"That's not my fantasy," he says, pulling away. "You are." I smile and watch as his blue eyes dart between each of my greens.
"I love you so much," he says.
"I love you more,"

We make dinner together and sit at the large dining room table right next to each other. Then after watching almost ten episodes of Friends we head up to bed. Louis falls asleep instantly with his soft head rested on my chest. I stay up and look through the endless magazines that Emily gave us. Louis sturs from time to time but after I play with his hair for a bit he settles back down again. I smile and watch as his eyes rest softly and he breaths come in and out with his cheek smooshed into my bare chest. I flip passed a page of wedding dresses to the line of tuxes. A small vest catches my eye. I close my eyes and picture Louis wearing it under a simple grey suit jacket. I smile. I look down at the color options. Cream, Navy, Grey, and Louis Blue. Louis blue. It's a light blue with a hint of grey. A perfect match to the lightest part of Lou's eyes.

I think I would like to add a few things to Louis' fantasy. Number One: Most weddings are set in mid afternoon so that by the end it is late and the stars come out. But me and Louis have so many more memories at dawn. Heck that's the same time of day that he asked me to do this. If we get married at dawn the golden light will spread through the field and each flower will be covered in due. Number Two: It all has to be Louis blue because that's the exact thing he is. Number Three: It can't be a dream.

I click off the light and lay down right next to Louis until we're face to face. He looks so peaceful. His eyes open softly and he looks at me. He smiles softly and I watch as he closes his eyes again and falls back asleep. I cup his face and rub his cheekbone softly with my thumb. He scooches over and buries himself in my neck and wraps his arms around me tightly. I smile wide. The world is made of spontaneous interactions. And I am so grateful for the beautiful boy that watched as I sang on stage and then danced with me all night long.
"How could I be so lucky," I whisper to myself.

I snuggled up next to Louis with his arms wrapped around me tightly. I watch as he smiles lightly in his sleep and I peck his nose affectionately. He squirms lightly and then calms back down again.
"Go to sleep," he whispers. I giggle and kiss his hair before closing my eyes and letting sleep take over. I drift to the sound of his soft breathings beside me.

hey guys! so sorry i've been gone! i have everything written and will try to post it all by the end of april! thank you all for everything!
-lilah sage