tríocha a haon

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"If you want something you never had you have to do something you've never done."

"I really think we should start heading to Louis' hotel." Niall says, standing up from where both he and Harry had been laying in the grass. "He might be worried."

"We've got time." Harry mumbles, batting Niall's extended hand away. "Lay back down here with me."

"One would think you're trying to avoid seeing Louis." Niall says, and Harry shoots him a small grin.

"Do you want to know what he told me on the phone?" Harry asks, and Niall sighs, sitting back down to talk to Harry. He can't help it.

"What did he tell you?"

"He told me to hurry up and get to Dublin, because he had a surprise for me." Harry says. "Do you think that if I take my merry ol'time he'll change his mind about whatever the surprise is?"

"So you are trying to ruin your relationship." Niall picks at the grass beside him.

"No one said anything about ruining a relationship."

"Right," Niall nods. "You just want to piss him off and make him angry."

"He's fun when he's angry."

"You mean he actually pays attention to you when he's mad at you." Harry flips Niall off, who looks unimpressed. "I'm not an idiot, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out, Harry. It's painfully obvious."

"Louis pays attention to me." Harry argues, defending his husband.

"Long enough to say hello and then talk about himself, I assume." Niall half laughs. "I bet you keep the house spotless, and I bet you try to talk to him about adopting your kids, but I bet he brushes you off. You need your kicks from somewhere, so you follow him to Ireland. You cheat for a cheap thrill. You try your hardest to piss him off. It's textbook attention seeking."

Harry's jaw sets and his fists clench in pure anger. "You're an asshole."

"We're complete opposites, you and I." Niall says quietly, laying down beside Harry. "I ran away because I was being suffocated by people paying too much attention to me."

"I'm chasing after a guy who can't even give me a time of day without having to cancel our plans because of some doctor thing." Harry finished for him, and the two men are silent for a few minutes. The silence is comfortable, easy, but merely surface. Deep down, Harry's mind is racing and his heart can't take much more of anything.

After maybe five minutes, Harry speaks up again. "What are we going to do?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm on my way to propose to a guy that I don't think I love anymore. You're going back to Neamh to run a pub you only opened to spite your parents." Harry laughs at the ironies. "Why is life so unfair?"

"Responsibilities suck sometimes, you know?"

"What would happen if we just did what we actually wanted to do? Not for one day or in secret, but what if we actually dropped everything and started over somewhere we could do whatever the fuck we wanted?"

"That's not how it works." Niall says. "It never will work that way. You can't change fate, no matter how many times you cuss it out and call it a bitch."

"That's why people cheat." Harry rolls over onto his side to look at Niall while he's talking. "That's why I want to kiss you. It's because you're here. You're fate's special offer, its escape from reality, and I would be a fool not to take it. You know?"

"It's like a once in a lifetime opportunity."

Harry grins softly at him, nodding in agreement. "And who gives up those?"

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