Mrs. Avery

Chapter 3 (Present Day)

Aggie landed at the Boston airport at 8am the next day, paid for parking, and then left for Nile. She let her mind hang in the foggy place where thoughts didn't really appear in full form and your eyes don't move much unless prompted by some kind of stimulus. She couldn't think about Momma anymore and this was the only way she knew how to block it out.

She drove the 2 scenic hours to Paxon, but continued past her apartment in a haze. She was mindlessly driving to Nile. Despite all the time that had passed, she was driving it without a thought. The lack of sleep from flying through the night certainly helped keep her mind in a fog. Driver's stare came easily.

She pulled into Momma's driveway at 11am. Turning off the car, she then reached for the door and froze. She took a deep breath and stared at the house. It looked like nothing now. It used to make Aggie's heart feel warm, but now it was just a big house, like any other house. She ran her fingers through her hair and used the other hand to brush away any tears building.

Maybe you'll walk in to Momma making breakfast, she thought. But, she knew that wasn't true and immediately started to cry. She knew that every new memory in this house would be ones without Momma and she didn't want them. This was Momma's house no matter what the deed said. Agnes was sure this would never be her home again, not without Momma.

After wiping her face, she climbed out of the car and walked towards the house. She stood at the door for a moment before pulling the keys out of her pocket. She had a key to this house, but this was the first time she was going to use it. She had bought the damn door during the remodel, but never walked through it.

As the door closed behind her, she looked around. It was exactly as she remembered. A large "L" shaped room with the corner base of it to her left. There was a small bathroom in that corner and then the kitchen and dinning area consumed most of the short length of the "L". A room led off of the end of the kitchen that belonged to Momma. Across from that was the laundry room. Aggie looked to the right and noticed that Momma had the living room arranged in almost the same way that it had been before; save for a new recliner alongside the sofa. The TV was still along the entry wall by the window. The stairs directly behind the sofa were still sporting the blue carpeting.

There should have been a railing installed on that stairway. Aggie thought, letting her mind run to anything, but Momma. Part of her mind, conditioned throughout her childhood, pulled her towards the stairs to her bedroom. She refrained. She wasn't here to clean up the home yet. She knew what she was here to do.

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(12 years prior)

"I'm gonna make this as easy for you girls as I can when I die." Momma said abruptly at the dinner table.

"Oh my god, Momma, stop." Molly said her mouth half full over her plate.

"Now stop." Momma said. "I'm serious and I need you girls to pay attention for one second."

"Momma later, okay. We're eating dinner and now isn't the time." Molly said. She was clearly uncomfortable and wanted to use the fact that this conversation was out of place as an argument to push it off until later. Aggie however felt the concern radiating from Momma as she sighed deeply and picked up her fork. Momma rarely surrendered to Molly's attitude so Aggie knew this must have been hard for her to even bring up. Momma had apologized a few times throughout their childhood that she was older, wishing she were a younger mother for them. "I never want to be a burden." She had said to them.

Momma looked almost defeated by Molly's rejection and began eating. Aggie put her fork down and looked across the table directly at Momma.

"Momma, I'm listening." She said it quietly, but full of intent.

Momma stopped and stood up from the table. "Come here baby." She said and walked over to the closet off of the kitchen. Aggie followed. Momma pulled open the closet and turned on the light. Molly continued to eat her dinner, ignoring them as best she could.

"This is not the time for this." Molly sang after them.

"What's up, Momma?" Aggie said.

"You see that brown box on the far right of the shelf?"

"Yes." Aggie said, eyeing it.

"When I die, everything you'll need to handle it, like close accounts and such will be in there."

Aggie nodded.

"It's really important, baby. You get this box first before anything else."

Aggie nodded with her lips curling down. The weight of this conversation was not lost on her.

"This is all you have to remember and you'll get through it, okay. Can you do that?"

Aggie just kept looking at the box as her eyes watered. It was just a plain brown box, often seen in offices, but this box felt threatening. Previous conversations about death had been more whimsical, but this had no air of that.

Momma grabbed her chin and slowly pulled it towards her. Aggie reluctantly peeled her eyes off the box and looked at Momma. "Baby, can you do that?"

"I can remember, Momma."

Momma Jo pulled her into a hug and stroked her hair. "Thank you." She said softly.

Aggie felt the sting building up in her nose and the heat rising to her face. "We still have time, right?" Aggie whispered as she hugged Momma tightly and stared fixedly at the blender on the kitchen counter.

"Of course baby. Loads of time, but this conversation will be harder to have later on so it needs to happen now. I need to know that my girls aren't left with a mess because of me." She said.

She hugged Momma tighter.

"Okay?" Momma said rubbing Aggie's back and leaning back to look at her face. Aggie loosened her grip on Momma and leaned back too.

"Mhmm." Aggie smiled and sniffled.

Momma wasn't a woman of many fears and to her daughters she had always seemed fearless. But, the reality of her age had hit her and with two young daughters the full realization of her mortality wasn't the hard part... it was the reality of leaving them behind. They were so young. She feared so strongly that she would die before they were ready. That she would die and leave them wounded and lost. She felt she had slighted them, by being so much older. She needed to give this to them... perhaps even more than they would need it themselves. She needed to make her death less hard. This was the very last thing she could do for them.

"Thank you." She said quietly to Aggie as they started to walk back to the table. Molly, still irritated, had continued eating.

"That couldn't have waited." Molly said as they sat down. Molly wasn't one for hypotheticals and as far as she was concerned Momma's death was hypothetical at this point.

"No." Aggie said letting her own irritation shine through as she wiped her face.

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"It's really important, baby. You get this box first before anything else." Aggie could hear Momma's words ring in her head. She walked over to the closet through the dark room and turned on the light. As promised, Momma's box was still there. She stared at it. Surrounded by folded sweaters and a few pairs of old shoes thrown up on the shelf. The hangers on the rod below held an assortment of winter jackets brightly colored and in varying sizes. The closet was packed tight with winter clothes. Aggie reached up and put her hand through the hole on the side and pulled the box out. She knocked some small snow boots onto the ground as she did. She put the box down and thoughtlessly tossed the shoes into the newly available space. She sat down cross-legged in front of the box.

Her face began to get warm and behind her nose started to burn. She lay back on the ground and took deep breaths. When she felt like she had control of herself again she sat up and stared at the box. She had never opened it in the 2 years she lived here after Momma told her about it. It felt like Pandora's box. It felt like it would let out all the bad things. Aggie rubbed her thighs a few times and let out a long slow breath.

She put her hand on the lid of the box and slowly started to pull it off.