Mrs. Avery

Chapter 7

Larry's explanation was rather simple. He had trouble connecting with people and when women had pushed him for a ring, he could never do it.

"Did women really pressure you?" she asked as she leaned back and contemplated that strange concept.

"Yes. They would normally start as normal conversations about marriage, which were fine and fair, but when they started turning it into a 'if you loved me' kind of conversation is when I got very uncomfortable." He shook his head a bit remembering the two women that had gone that far.

"It just seems strange to me." Aggie said.

"Well, I think that might be what makes you strange." He smiled. "Marriage is really important to some people, but when it becomes about pressuring one partner. I just don't like that."

"I wouldn't either."

"I had actually bought a ring." He said looking down at his glass.

Aggie opened her mouth, but then just waited. All the while he smiled at her expression. He could see the ring in clear detail even to this day.

"I loved her. She didn't struggle with who I was. And wasn't bothered by my military career. We had talked about marriage before my final deployment, nothing definite, just a real conversation."

"Sounds like you had it sorted out."

"Yeah, I thought so too, but then we discussed children and I knew I couldn't give that to her. I couldn't be a father. I wouldn't be any good for the hard stuff and you don't get to only be a parent for the good stuff."

"I think everyone is afraid of that." She said widening her eyes for a moment as hard moments crossed her mind.

"Maybe, but I REALLY can't. And she said that we didn't have to have kids, that we could be happy... just us." He took a large drink from his glass and then stared at it. "But she was meant to be a mom. She was going to be amazing and I... I don't know.... I couldn't take that from her so... I just... I got distant and just let it fall apart." He shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck. "And that's how I ended up here."

Aggie was thinking of how to respond when he leaned back and closed his eyes with his head upturned to the ceiling.

"I lied." He said calmly. Aggie's eyebrows scrunched at his words, but she waited for him to explain. "I wasn't just adopted by some elderly couple. I was adopted by my great grandparents." He sat forward and put down his glass, while he rested his elbows on his knees and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Are you okay?" she asked putting her glass down and leaning towards him.

"Yeah." He said. His head still down. "I just drank a little too fast." She waited and wondered if she should try to find him a trashcan. The idea of standing seemed complicated and she pushed her drink towards the center of the table as well.

"Ohh wooo, me too." She said closing her eyes.

"We are not good at this." He smiled with his eyes closed and tried to collect himself.

"I know." She smiled, eyes also closed.

Moments passed and she sighed. "So what was with the great grandparents lie?"

"Uhhh," he coped with his own condition and leaning back in his chair so his closed eyes were upturned at the ceiling. "Well it just seems worse doesn't it? My parents dropped me off on their older family members and then tried to barge back in. How fucking wretched a human being do you need to be to do that. To destroy someone's retirement and act entitled to the child that you gave away." He sighed. "Fuck all of it."

There was so much weight in it: fuck all of it. And Aggie felt it wash over her. She sat across the table from another person with no other family to speak of. He was an adult orphan, like her. Her jaw dropped slightly and her eyes and nose burned. She put her hand over her eyes and pulled her head down, but she couldn't compose herself and she completely broke in front of someone for the very first time in years.

Larry watched and then stood up as carefully as he could and dragged his chair to her side of the table.

"I'm fine." She said in uneven volumes as she tried to wipe her face. She put her other hand out at him and sort of shook it.

"No, you're not." He said quietly. "And that's okay." He grabbed her objecting hand and pulled her towards him and into his shoulder.