Mrs. Avery

Chapter 28

"Agnes," He paused for quite some time and exhaled slowly. "I think you know the answer." He sighed. "Please don't ask me that again."

"I'm sorry." She said quietly.

He stood up and finished off his water before leaving the room. She sat up and acknowledged what she had just asked of him. She was running her hand over her face when he walked out of the room.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" She groaned to herself and then chugged her water. She had let something stupid fall out of her mouth because she trusted him... and because she knew he was clean. They both knew way too much about each other, doctor appointments and all. She saw his STD panel, they had deciphered the damn thing together and they had gone through hers too, lamenting how they couldn't just plainly write, "You're all good" at the top, "Nothing bad here."

He came back in and she hopped off the bed.

"I'm sorry. I- I shouldn't have said that to you." She was forming a lengthier explanation when he grabbed her shirt and pulled her the rest of the way to him. Which wasn't hard to do since he caught her by surprise and knocked her off balance. She slammed into him harder than expected, but that didn't slow him down. He had one hand through her hair and his lips on hers before she even registered what was happening. He pulled her tight against him at her waist and she didn't have to think about it, she wanted this. She put her hands on his neck and when their lips separated, she only teased him with hers, but never planted them. He quickly had enough of that and put his hand back on her neck to pull her in. When he put his lips back on hers and parted them, she did too, allowing his tongue to graze hers. He started walking her backwards towards the bed, but scooped her up by her thighs before they got there and walked on his knees to the center before laying her down. There he immediately let the weight of himself on her hips as he kissed her. She moaned for the pressure in her hips to be released. Placing one hand above her head on the bed and one on her upper thigh for leverage, he slowly grinded his pelvis into hers and the sensation made her close her eyes as he hovered over her. He put a hand through her hair and pulled her head to the side exposing her neck. He gently kissed from her collarbone to the corner of her jaw. She arched her back and moaned for him. She'd had enough of this and wanted the real thing. She reached to undo his pants.

Before she even had his belt undone, he put his hands over hers. She stopped and slowly looked up at him. His eyes were closed and he lifted the heavy pressure of his hips off of hers.

"I can't fuck you and not fall in love with you. We do this and everything will change." He shook his head and closed his eyes. "I haven't been happy in a long time, but I'm happy now and I don't want to ruin this over a stupid drunk night out."

"I'm not going to be different just because we sleep together."

"I believe that." He said and took a deep breath. "But I will be and I can't help that." She scrunched her brow at him. He sighed and sat back on his knees. She propped herself up on her elbows. "If I have you this way, I'm going to want more. I already love you in a way that would only-" He struggled for the words. "become more."

She was quiet. And tried to ignore the pulsing sensation between her legs and the fact that he was still kneeling between them. She let her legs lazily come together. This wasn't something a man usually struggled with... casual sex seemed to come easier for men and he surprised her. She felt guilty knowing that she had never considered falling in love with him that way, but in this moment she felt like she could. The reasonable part of her knew that the alcohol and the promise of physical affection were skewing her judgment. And looking at him, after what he admitted, she knew this would be something they couldn't take back or pretend never happened, if they went forward. So, she stopped. She couldn't do this to him, not unless she was sure... and she just wasn't.