Mrs. Avery

Chapter 19

"That's why I refused to skip dinner." Evan said. He had appeared in the archway wrapped in a towel and rubbing another one through his hair. "I was nervous about this whole thing." He gestured towards the table. "We hadn't really talked about beyond this so I knew I was taking a risk, especially with how we had left things before my last trip. And then when your mom died, it just seemed like you were trying to cut me out anyway. I thought I had really fucked everything up." And he disappeared out of the archway.

She walked over and leaned on the archway herself.

"Evan Miller, nervous?" She tisked. "No, that doesn't sound like him." She cleared the tears from her eyes as she teased.

He smiled at her over his shoulder while standing in front of his closet. She walked up and wrapped her arms around him. She pressed her cheek against his damp back. He rubbed his hands over her arms and sighed as he closed his eyes.

"What would you have said?... If I had asked sooner." He asked quietly. "In all honesty, was I just reaching for something that we weren't going to become?"

"I would have said yes." She said pondering on his shoulder. "I didn't suspect that you wanted more though."

"I think I did for awhile, but I didn't realize how much until you surprised me and I was dreading the end of that weekend. And then suddenly two vacations and one or two weekends a month wasn't enough anymore." He sighed and pulled a shirt out of the closet and then went to his dresser to grab shorts and a pair of boxers.

"I was really hoping you would have said no to that when I asked." He said as he pulled the shirt down over his head. He then made his way to the bed and laid down.

She went over and sat on the bed next to him.

"I can lie, if that makes it easier."

"No... I never was a fan of that." He reached for her hand.

"I know." She slipped off her shoes and he scooted over. She curled into his arm and sighed. "I can't get over how much this sucks."

"I know. Did I fuck everything up when I didn't immediately offer to push back on work about the travelling?"

"No." She said. "But it did hurt. And that was when I realized I was more invested than I had thought."

"Is that why you kept me away from the funeral?"

"Not exactly. You were always separate from my family's drama and pain that I think I was just trying too hard to revert back to our initial agreement, after the fight. Plus, you know me better than that. I let you know when I'm still mad. I think I was just confused."

"I know." He said. "I was so stuck on that fight and I was starting to miss you a lot that I was building up the courage to talk to my boss. And then you visited and that was all I needed. And then it was like the stars aligned. He offered me the other job before I even mentioned reducing travel and it was so perfect. Your office was close by and I found the place and I was so excited to see you." His sniffed and tried to control his watering eyes.

"I'm sorry I fucked it all up." Her voice breaking.

"You didn't. I waited. I fucked it up. You were ready for more of us."

He rubbed her arm and they just stared at the ceiling for a long time. How did they go from perfect for each other to opposites over night? It was unfair that it had to be this way, but it would have been wrong to force anything else. He started thinking of fictional solutions where he traveled a lot to see her without interfering with the kids and upsetting James. She did the same, somehow working the traveling around her own job expectations and the kids' schedules. They indulged their thoughts for a time, imagining solutions that in reality stood no chance of fruition.