a void in the heart - void stiles¹

26

MALENAS POV

Everything I said was true...

The words repeat in my mind over and over again, almost like a never-ending loop of uncertainty. It was a little unsettling, to be frank. Everything he said was true, but what had he said? Certainly nothing memorable otherwise I would've remembered it. I remembered as far back as him plunging the needle in, those short seconds where I had whispered out 'stay.', and possibly if I wasn't imagining it, the moment where he said he wanted to kiss me. He clearly had no intention of listening to me, but there was something else that was unsettling me. Malia looks down at me expectantly.

"Well? What is he talking about?" Malia asks sharply, I notice she ignored Scott when she walked into the room and is still doing so. I look up at her and hand her the piece of paper back after scanning it again quickly.

"Well, I um don't remember anything," I splutter, running a hand through my hair as I sat back.

Malia looked down at me with squinted eyes, "I don't believe you," She murmurs, only loud enough for me to hear and Scott with his stupid werewolf hearing. Scott's head perks up and he looks at me with narrowed eyes. I raise an eyebrow at him and he shrugs and looks away. There was truth in my words, but not enough for the subtle increase in my heart rate to not be noticeable.

I look up at Malia again, "I'm not lying," I try and say more confidently. But Malia shakes her head and taps my chest, where my heart is.

"This," she said tapping my chest again, "is giving you away. You remember something, even if it's not big." She says simply.

I look away and Lydia looks at me worriedly, I sigh. "I remember Void, sorry, the Nogitsune," I say correcting myself, "telling me that he wanted to..." I trail off and clear my throat, well aware of all the eyes on me, their gazes as prickly against my skin as small knives, digging into every inch of skin visible. "He said he wanted to kiss me," I say shaking my head in dismay and disgust.

Kira lets out a yelp of surprise while Malia and Scott stay studying my face and most likely listening to my heartbeat.

"Ah," Lydia says, and she looks like she's choking on the news.

"I mean it's no biggie, right? He's not actually going to kiss me, besides he was probably just joking and stuff," I say trying to change the topic and calm everyone down.

"Malena," Scott says carefully, "you didn't want him to kiss you did you?" Scott asks.

I don't have to be a werewolf to know my heartbeat started to speed up. Malia looks like she could slap me across the face. "Well- no, I wouldn't- erm, no." I stumble over my words.

"Malena, that thing, isn't human. It's not capable of human emotion, I know you want some stupid enemies to lovers romance arch or whatever you call it but this is real life. You could be in real danger," Lydia says, her voice sounding disapproving in a motherly way, I don't know why but it rubs me the wrong way.

"Lydia you're not really in a position to judge, considering you were in love with an abusive, homophobic, racist asshole." I snap at her.

Lydia recoils and I see a look of hurt flicker across her face. She knows I'm right which I think hurts her the most, we all had an unspoken mutual agreement to never bring up Lydia's toxic relationship with Jackson, which until now I had never even thought of breaking.

"You know what? I only ever wanted to help you Malena, but I can't do that if you can even help yourself." Lydia replies quietly, "You're going down the same track I went down with Jackson Malena, don't make the same mistake I did." Lydia stands up and leaves the room, and I can't help but feel a little guilty.