Not Just A Roadie / Queen Fanfiction

7 • Reminiscence

no sooner had we been introduced to Betty than we were actually using her to travel to Boston. we had to wait a few hours before we actually headed off for Brian to sober up. we'd all gotten utterly plastered in our first-concert-highs so it wasn't until about one o'clock in the morning that we actually started heading off for Boston. I didn't quite fancy performing with a hangover and little sleep, but that was how it was going to be today.

the beginning of the drive was slow and clunky, all of us yelling at Brian for jostling us around - still slightly drunk - whilst he grasped the ropes of the bus. of course Brian was sober, he'd had less to drink than all of us, who were starting to get over the sheer amount of alcohol we'd collectively consumed. eventually, John had folded out one of the beds and was setting up camp on it, straightening out the blanket.

Freddie had promised to be up front with Brian so he didn't fall asleep, but by the sounds of it, Freddie had failed to stick to the mission because I could hear Brian tutting, "God sake Fred, way to keep to your word...."

meanwhile, I was sitting on the end of my bed having a cigarette, much to Brian's disgust. "Roger do you seriously have to stink out the whole bus with your cigarette smoke?"
I'd simply sworn in return and continued to take another drag and exhale deliberately loudly so he'd know from the front that I hadn't put it out.

I didn't really know what to do with myself, usually I'd be shut in the back part of the bus with a girl and wouldn't emerge for another hour or so. but now even the thought of doing that made me cringe. what was wrong with me? Zara hadn't been that special to me, had she? I didn't want her to leave, not at all, but it confused me as to how she was messing with my head even after she had gone.

"Deaky?" I asked quietly, leaning into the corner between the head of my bed and the thin plasterboard wall behind it. he looked up from sorting out his bed at the sound of his name and turned to face me.

"what?" he sat down on his bed.

i sat and took another lazy drag of my cigarette. "when you met Veronica, how did you feel?" speaking quietly, as to not arouse Brian's attention or wake Freddie up, I fished around for the answer to the question that had been niggling at me for a month.

John sighed, seemingly sensing the conversation that was about to commence.

JOHN's POV

I'd never seen Roger look so small. of course, he was still slightly drunk, but he seemed to be quickly sobering up. he just looked so vulnerable sitting there, smoking with no dedication, slumped on his bed. he had heavy bags around his eyes and he just looked overall dishevelled.

"I felt like it would never last." I said truthfully. Veronica and I had met just over 6 and a half years ago and for two of those I felt that she'd never want to be with me for very long.

ROGER'S POV

I guess that was the catch. with Zara I'd never felt more certain of anything in my life that it'd last forever. that we'd last forever. maybe confidence was the fatality of a relationship. Zara was the only person I'd ever felt a strong emotional, romantic, sexual attraction to. i'd been with my fair share of women, but all that time I knew we were both in it for fun, and fun only. but with Zara things were deadly serious, but not anymore I supposed.

"you alright, Rog? you've gone quiet..." John tuned me back into the bus and I felt like my head was being dragged through mud.

"yeah....yes. i'm fine, thanks for asking Deaky." and with that I kicked off my shoes and my jacket, unbuttoned my shirt, took off my trousers, stubbed out my cigarette and got into bed without another word.

although it took me a while before I was actually able to get to sleep. the bus was jostling slightly here and there, I could hear John moving about and my head was still swimming with thoughts about my relationship with Zara. God, the mental strain was exhausting, I'd never felt so many emotions at once. it was awful.

I must have fallen asleep somewhere along the line because no sooner did I hear shouting and sense the brightness of dawn through my eyelids. sitting upright, I gradually woke up and felt the beginning of a splitting headache that I had become familiarised to know as a hangover.

"wakey wakey ladies!" Freddie called cheerfully from the kitchenette. it seemed that we were swapping shifts, John; Freddie and I were to be up and about whilst Brian had a good nap after spending the night driving. ha, the poor sod.

it seemed to me that John and Freddie were rather well rested, but I felt nothing like that. tired, achey and heavy, just like I had everyday since Zara left - like I hadn't slept a wink. which some of the time was true.

as quietly as possible, the band (bar Brian) got our things together, getting ready to head out. at least, all was going well until Freddie dropped a saucepan on the floor and the handle came clean off.

"shhh!" John and I whispered through gritted teeth, both fully aware that there was no way in hell Brian hadn't heard that.

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE CAN YOU KEEP IT DOWN FOR ONE MINUTE!" came a thunderous voice from beyond the kitchenette. we comically peered round the divider and saw Brian sitting up in bed, probably only just having managed to nod off. hastily, we all decided that then was the best time to file out.

"what did you even need a damn saucepan for anyway, Fred?" I asked as we made our way to nowhere in particular. we were in Boston now, and we had not the faintest idea where we were.

"I wanted to make some eggs-" he started innocently, whilst John and I looked at him shamefully.

somehow, we bumped into Reid halfway down the road, who was laden with a small, brown shopping bag. "morning, Reid," I said, giving him a nod.

"morning lads, where's Brian?"

"sleeping. been driving all night hasn't he?" said John, peeping just past Reid's shoulder to try and see where he had just come from to obtain a paper bag.

thinking about it, I hadn't thrown up last night's alcohol yet and boy was I hungry.