38 • Reigns

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DEAKY's POV

"...but...I think I might, ya know...you know..."

"...you're breaking up with her?" Brian asked, eyes widening.

"...are you gunna ask her to move in?" Freddie chipped in after Brian. I sat there with a small smile on my face as I knew exactly what Roger was about to say.

"you're in love with her." I said with finality and confidence at the exact same time that Roger said: "I might be in love with her."

all heads snapped in my direction in perfect synchronisation and I couldn't help but laugh as I stood up and went over to clap Roger on the back. "well done mate, you've successfully passed puberty."

"hey, he beat you to it dear," Freddie turned to Brian, nudging him on the arm with his elbow.

"Fred, I have a wife."

"yeah, I know." Freddie said as if it was obvious (which it was) and hopped off the desk that he was sitting on. "I'm going to get a cuppa," he left, heading down the corridor.

he was shortly followed by roger, reid and peter - leaving only Brian and I in the studio. "you alright?" I nodded to Brian and he just nodded back, re-immersed in Roger's song.

"it's all here..." he stood in shock and raced into the booth to snatch up his guitar.

"what's all there?" I asked, curious as to what Brian was up to.

"Roger's song. it's all here, everything. the drums, the bass, the guitar, the lyrics: the lot. it's incredible. grab your Fender, Deaks."

"wow, Roger hasn't had a breakthrough like this in years. when's it dated?" I followed Brian into the booth and picked up my bass guitar, awaiting a reply. but my question was followed by silence. "Brian, I asked when was it dated?" I repeated, again greeted by silence. this was getting silly now. "Brian?" I pushed one last time before losing my temper with him. I knew he could hear me.

slowly, Brian's head arose from the page and met my eyes. his were filled with sudden worry and I was alarmed. "December 26th." his voice came out choked and sombre.

"but that's the day before he-" I shook my head in confused alarm.

"Roger had said the day after he came home from hospital that he was at his desk and woke up on the floor," Brian started, reeling his hand for me to continue slotting together the pieces of the jigsaw.

"he was writing this song at his desk...and people don't just fall asleep on the floor when they can't be arsed to go to bed. he must've fallen and not told us." it was all coming together, I could hear it forming as we got our words out.

"meaning that this very song put him in hospital." Brian concluded, slamming the paper down next to me on my amp that I was leaning on.

"hey, don't hit Deacy," I patted my amp in the consoling way, "or I'll go and give your Vox a good kick."

"right, sorry," Brian apologised vaguely, but there was a brief smile on his face. "but the question is, why didn't Roger explain all that in the first place? we could've helped him write it."

"...because...., because...." I tried to fetch for an answer, but nothing came to mind. until somebody turned on the light and everything came into focus. "because he wanted it to be his song. to Jennifer, from him. you say it's a love song, yes? yes, he's just admitted to being in love with her Brian. God, I never knew you were this dense, weren't you working towards a PhD?"

"oh shut up Deaks, this isn't the time to talk about my academic career. you're absolutely right. that's why all the music is here too when usually he only writes a chorus or a verse and leaves the rest to us."

just then, Freddie and Roger came bursting through the door with laughter painted on their faces. Reid and Peter weren't tailing behind, so I assumed they'd stayed outside for another cigarette before going home. it was almost 5 and it'd been a long day with Roger not keeping still and all.

ROGER's POV

"Rog, Rog, Roger Taylor. we have you sussed my friend," Deaky came over to me as soon as Freddie and I had stepped into the booth, giving me a fatherly pat on the back, even though I was both taller and older than him.

"what?" Freddie asked with as much confusion in his voice as was on his face. his reaction mirrored mine perfectly and I found myself adding: "yeah, what?" as if there was an echo in the studio.

"that song," Brian chipped in, "we know it means a lot to you, which is why we've decided to hand you the reigns for it. none of our interference of how it should go or what words need changing. it's your song, Roger."

"oh, that's what we've decided, is it?" Freddie retaliated cockily, although I could tell he empathised with Brian and was willing for me to take control with this song. it was true that this song was greatly important to me, and I'd made a great sacrifice for it all to be able to finally come together. I had, quite literally, unintentionally risked my life for the sake of this song.

"thank you," I gave them all a genuine smile in return for their gesture, which I knew was a big deal to hand all the control to one person specifically, mainly from previous arguments when Brian or Freddie wanted us to play stuff exactly how they wanted us to.

"don't make me regret this, Meddows," Freddie smirked and started doing quiet vocal warm ups after his tea break.

"right, let's get started shall we ladies?" Deaky clapped his hands together and we all positioned ourselves with our instruments in the recording booth. Reid and Peter had returned with a sly-looking Paul in tow. turns out they didn't go home early after all, they were just picking up that toe bag. the expression on Paul's face made me feel weary and like something bad was going to happen pretty soon. nobody wore such a cunning face like that and hadn't just evoked impending doom upon somebody. wait, when did he even get here?? irrelevant, move on.

still, I brushed him off and began to sing the tune of my song, closing my eyes and imagining it was just myself and Jennifer sitting alone in the room. no band, no onlookers, not even a recording studio, but a lavish garden painted with roses, sweet peas and begonias.

in that moment, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my days with Jennifer, even if she wasn't here to realise it with me. I wanted to hear her voice in my ear every morning, feel her happiness spread to me, have the warmness omnipresent in whichever room she had drifted into. i wanted to feel our lips intertwined and her soft skin on mine. most of all, I wanted this song to portray everything I felt towards Jennifer and I wanted her to know it.

"if this isn't absolutely fucking perfect, you're gunna need to be looking for another bloody drummer," I said sternly at the band with a look of seriousness on my face. they almost look intimidated by how sombre I was acting, but I wanted every chord, every vibrato, every cymbal, every beat to be pristine. absolutely perfect. just like the woman who I had had the pleasure of coming to love.

I loved her.

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