Different 2

20.

It doesn't take long for my tears and my sadness to turn into anger  - anger towards Henry and men in general. How dare he? How dare he touch me, as if I belong to him. This is what it must feel like for women who have worse things happen to them - but even this was too much. Henry crossed a line that he shouldn't have. 

I'm angry at myself too. Why wasn't I able to tell him off, to rip his hands off of me? I was scared it would be embarrassing for me, but I'm not the one that should be embarrassed - it's Henry. Henry should feel terrible for touching the girlfriend of his good friend's son in an inappropriate way, but he probably has no guilt in him what so ever. If one would ask him, he would probably even deny that it happened, or say that I was overreacting.

Who gives men the rights to treat women this way? Why do they feel like they own us, and just touch us against our own will without our permission like that? My whole body starts shaking from the rage I feel deep inside of me, and my heart hurts for the women who have experienced even worse.

After I've calmed down a little, I wipe the remains of my mascara away with my thumb. I stand up and look at myself in the mirror. Wild thoughts are running through my head, as I'm starting to blame myself for the way Henry touched me. Am I showing too much cleavage? Is my dress too short? No, Mila. It's not your fault that just happened. 

I take a big breath and exit the bathroom. The house is still pretty full with people, but I decide to head to bed. It's not like I'm in the mood to talk to anyone anymore. I'm lucky I don't see any familiar faces when I make my way upstairs into the room that Jace and I were supposed to be staying in together. I open the door, and I'm surprised to see Jace passed out on the bed. I'm angry at him at don't want to sleep in the same bed as him, but decide that I have nowhere else to go.

I change out of my dress into my pyjamas and wash tonight off of me in the bathroom that's enclosed to the guest room. Jace doesn't budge when I return, he must have been drinking quite a lot. I lay down on the very edge of the bed, as far away from Jace as possible, and I'm happy that he doesn't even notice or tries to touch me. I let a few more tears fall before I finally fall asleep. 

The next morning, I'm surprised to find the bed empty. I'm glad, because I think it's way too early for a confrontation with Jace. I need to process first, like I do so often. I grab my phone and see that I have some messages from Austin and Bree, wondering where we went. I decide to ignore them for now. I spend as much time on instagram as I can, before I realise that Jace isn't coming back to bed and that I should probably go downstairs. I wouldn't want to make William uncomfortable, knowing something's wrong with Jace and I.

I get dressed in jeans and a light sweater, before opening the door and listening to what's going on downstairs. I hear some rummaging around, as William is probably cleaning up, and some faint conversation with Jace. It looks like it's just the two of them, which I'm glad about. I take another big breath, and put a fake smile on my face. Walking downstairs slowly, I already see Jace lounging around on the sofa. I'm not surprised, he's probably hungover. 

"Mila, good morning. How did you sleep?" Will asks once he sees me, and I'm glad that he starts a conversation so I won't have to.

"Very good, thank you. Here, you shouldn't be doing all of this by yourself" I say, starting to help him with this mess. I'm glad, because it gives me the opportunity to do something and to avoid Jace. He probably knows that I'm mad, since he doesn't come near me.

"Did you have a good time last night?" Will asks me when I join him in the kitchen to put some of the dishes from last night away.

"I did" I lie. "How about you?"

"Just wonderful. I haven't seen Jace this happy in a really long time. Tell me, is he doing okay?" Will says, and I know that he's concerned about Jace. I have no idea if William knows about Jace's past drug use, or even about this withdrawal, so of course I don't say anything.