Taylor Swift Imagines - Book Four (gxg)

fears (requested)

"I can't believe you're finally back. I've missed you!" You told Taylor as you stood in the airport with her, holding onto her tighter than ever before.

She's just gotten home from tour.

She spent three months on the road. Three months pouring her heart and soul into the songs that she wrote that meant the world to her fans, who adore her endlessly.

She got to meet some of them and perform for them and every second spent while touring was one that was cherished.

However, she missed you a lot.

Before she left, you had only been together for about two months.

So it was scary and hard for both of you because you felt unsure if you could handle being apart for so long and have your relationship still be so strong and so wonderful.

But here you are now.

Reunited and stronger than ever before.

"I've missed you too, sweet girl." She said as she rubbed your back. "So much."

You pulled away and shared a sweet kiss before nodding to the doors.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah." She smiled and took your hand as one of her guards carried her things.

"My place or yours?"

"How about mine? I want to see my kitties. You can stay the night with me and we can order some food if you'd like."

"That sounds great!" You said as you held her hand while walking out of the airport doors.

"The car to drive you home is already here." The guard spoke as a car pulled up.

As he put Taylor's thing in the trunk, your heart started to pound as you thought about getting back into a car.

"I could use some fresh air. I think I might walk and just meet you at your house." You said.

But as soon as the words left your lips, there was a crash of thunder in the distance.

"Not a chance, my love. We'll take a walk tomorrow, the two of us. But, for now, we're getting into the car where it's dry."

You wanted to protest doing so but as it began to pour, you felt as though you had no other choice.

You could walk in the rain. It wouldn't be the first or last time you'd do so. But you know there's not a chance that Taylor would let that happen.

So, you got into the car and after, Taylor did the same.

The car took off a moment later as the trunk closed and the guard knew Taylor was in safe hands so he could head home too.

You put your head on her shoulder and tried to calm yourself down.

You haven't told Taylor about everything.

When she left, you didn't think about telling her because you didn't know if your relationship would last while she was away.

You didn't think about telling her before because you never needed to get into a car with her before she left.

The weather was fantastic and, on the rare occasion that it would rain, Taylor would come over to your place for a date or it would rain on a night when you didn't see her.

So now, you're going to have no choice but to tell her.

Because you can already feel the fear building up and overwhelming you.

"I can't wait to get home." She said as she put her arm around you.

"Me too." You said as you squeezed your eyes shut.

Taylor could tell that you felt afraid of something since you were shaking in her arms a little and that seriously concerned her.

"What's the matter, baby? Are you alright?"

You shook your head and then lifted it from Taylor's shoulder.

"What is it?" She asked as she put her hand on your thigh.

"I haven't been in a car for so long and I'm freaking out." You said as you began to tremble.

Your PTSD was stronger than it's been in a while. Your anxiety was making it hard to breathe and caused your heart to pound as you tried so hard to overcome your fear but failed as flashbacks came to your mind time and time again.

"What are you talking about? How long has it been since you've been in a car?"

"Not long enough." You quietly spoke. "I got in a bad accident a while ago and now, I have a major fear of cars and driving. I have bad anxiety and PTSD from it all. It was so awful, Taylor."

"Why didn't you tell me, baby?"

"I don't know. It just never came up. I didn't know if I should tell you because some people don't get it and talking about the accident and the struggles that I still face to this day because of it is hard for me."

She brushed her fingers across your skin, wordlessly telling you that she was listening.

"I don't like to talk about it until I know that I can truly trust someone. It was the scariest and most difficult time in my life. It was traumatic. It still lingers with me to this day."

"I'm so sorry." She said as she pulled you into her arms, the best she could considering you both had seatbelts on. "I can't imagine how hard that was for you. I understand that it must still be hard. Time doesn't heal all wounds."

"The things I saw, felt, and went through that day are always going to be with me. I haven't gotten into a car since that all went down. The thought of driving or just being here in one is too much. It's terrifying. I see it all again. I just want to get out."

Thankfully, just as you turned your head to look at Taylor, the car came to a stop.

"We're here." The driver said as he got out of the car and opened the trunk to grab Taylor's things.

You unbuckled your seatbelt and got out of the car as quickly as you could.

Thankfully, it wasn't too far from the airport to Taylor's house, so it went by much faster than you thought it would.

Breathing in the fresh air as you closed your eyes and stopped moving helped to be able to calm down a little.

The rain fell from the sky, droplets soaking your clothes as you stood there and took a moment to pull yourself together.

The driver took Taylor's bags up the porch before driving off.

Taylor took your hand and when you opened your eyes, you met hers.

"I don't want you to get sick. It's getting cold and raining harder. Can we go inside and I'll let you put some of my clothes on?"

You nodded and let her lead you into her house, where you both changed after she brought her bags in.

You curled up on her bed in her arms as Benjamin laid on your chest, purring as you run your fingers through his fur.

"I know you've been through a lot. You don't have to go into detail." She said as she played with your hair. "Just know that I'll always be here to keep you safe. I'm here if or when you're ready to talk about it. I'm happy to help in any way that I can if there's a way that I can. And, I promise that we won't travel by car for a long while. Not until you're ready, if that day comes. If it doesn't, I'm okay with that, too."

"Thank you, baby," You said as you stared up at her, a smile pulling at her lips. "Thank you for being so understanding and supportive. One day, I'll tell you. But for now, I just want you to hold me."

"I won't let you go. I swear." She promised as she kissed your head softly, reminding you again and again that you're her whole world.