Missing piece

luna shepherd

Luna,

You aren't here right now. But I'm writing you this letter, because i know that one day i will give it to you whether I'm alive or because you are packing away all my things because I've unfortunately died.

Callie had a daughter. She is beautiful and wonderful and honestly the best thing that has happened to me.

I've never felt so at peace and happy in my life, but one thing is missing.

You.

I keep on looking at Sofia and I know that you two would get on so well, she has the smile I give.

I promised you that you'd never be alone and never leave you but I have and I've let you go multiple times. But I mean it when I write this I will never leave you again, you will never be alone. I love you and I will until the end of time. You were the first person to love me for me and make me a father. But although we never got to have our picture-perfect family you still made me one. You are quite frankly the closest i've come to a proper family and having Sofia reminded of that.

Even if we don't end up together just know you are my soulmate.

I've thought about this for months for years actually, the life we would've lived the number of laughs and happy memories. But we didn't get that. What we got was heartache and an unexplainable attachment to one another.

It's been a few weeks since you got back and I'm back writing more letters to you. I feel like I can be completely truthful without being embarrassed.

I still love Lexie, she is the only person who I can see myself loving forever apart from you.She lights up every room she walks into and her smile it's almost like the sun is shining down on her every time.

Sofia has the same smile, when she lights up seeing food or when I and Callie make her laugh. Or the first time she met you. It was almost fate.

You see Luna I've known you were meant to be in my life since the moment Derek introduced us. That's one promise I know I'll keep forever I'm with you forever no matter what.

Because what luna...no one gets left behind.

It's been a few weeks since I wrote to you because honestly I've been busy and it's sort of healing talking to you then rather writing you a letter.You and Jackson still aren't together but Lexie and Jackson are.

You do this weird thing every time you see them where you walk into the room and the sparkle in your eyes disappears then you just leave. It makes me sad because I know you'll do anything for the people who make you happy but sometimes they don't do the same for you.

It's almost like watching you realise you can't be happy which breaks my heart even more. I know Mark Sloan has a heart that's crazy. But I do. Meredith and Derek are adopting Zola and I and Callie have Sofia. Sometimes I wonder if that could've ever been us. Like what sort of family we would be. The type to have traditions or the type where we spend all our waking time together.

I always think back to seeing you in the elevator and what I'd do to make sure you live all over again. It was almost like I'd gone from not protecting you back into full-on Mark and Luna mode. There are so many things I can say but right now Sofia is crying so back to the next time I remember about this and write more.