Sons of the Tide (mlm)

Chapter 18: Strength

Joseph

Joseph was sprawled put on the bed as Caleb spread him open with his fingers, already rock hard from their activities. Caleb was smiling, and he wouldn't tell Joseph why, but he was more focused on how good his fingers felt.

Finally, Caleb pulled his fingers out and gripped his hip, using his other arm to hold himself up. "Ready?"

Joseph nodded. He didn't know what he expected, but Caleb picking him up,resting his legs over his shoulders, and thrusting into him wasn't it. He gasped as Caleb bucked his hips up and cling onto his shoulders. "Holy shit, Caleb-"

Caleb chuckled as he thrusted again. "I told you I was strong."

He was completely supporting all of Joseph's weight while simultaneously thrusting his hips back and forth. Joseph wasn't by any means light, and Caleb didn't seem to be struggling at all.

Joseph could hardly get words out as Caleb pounded into him at exactly the right angle. He bit his lip and shuddered as Caleb kept up his rigorous pace. He barely seemed to sweat at Joseph's weight.

Hell, if he was strong as he said he was, maybe they'd actually have a chance at killing Hawke.

Joseph tensed. He was fucking the person he'd most likely send to death. God he was a shit person.

Caleb noticed his change in body language and immediately stopped moving. "Joseph?"

Joseph looked at him and pursed his lips. "I'm sorry."

Caleb's eyebrows pressed together and he pulled out of Joseph, then set him on the bed. "What for? It's okay if you want to stop, I won't do anything you don't want me to."

"No, it's not that." Joseph rubbed his face as Caleb knelt down in front of him, not touching him. "I'm just... god, how shitty a person do you have to be to have sex with the man who you said you were going to use as bait for possibly the worst person on the planet?"

Caleb didn't respond and Joseph was too ashamed to look at him. Until he felt Caleb gently place his hand Joseph's and pull it down from his face. "You aren't a shitty person, Joseph."

Joseph wanted to argue his point, but Caleb laced his fingers through his and said, "You'll find killing me is a lot harder than you think. Pontus is a very strong, very powerful deity. His son isn't going to die easy."

Joseph wanted to believe him. He really did, but he'd gone through the whole speech of how he needed to send Caleb to his probable death in order to avenge his wife. When has things become to complicated?

Caleb squeezed his hand. "Hey, look at me." Joseph looked up, though he didn't want to, and found Caleb looking at him softly. "You're a good man. I really do believe that. And like every other person on this crew, I know what I signed up for. Taking out Hawke is risky, and many people will get hurt and die. I might be one of them. I accepted that before I joined your crew."

He had a point. Joseph had made it clear from the beginning that killing Hawke was the one and only goal of his crew, by any means necessary. He sighed. "What are we doing? What are we?"

Caleb thought for a moment. "I don't know what we are." He laughed slightly. "But I know that I'm rather fond of you."

Joseph couldn't help but smile a little. "You've grown on me, too."

Caleb squeezed his hand again. "We can do two things here, I think. One, we continue this as friends. Maybe continue as friends who sleep together. Or, we can decide to get to know one another better. Take things slow."

Joseph didn't know what he wanted. He considered Caleb his friend, though not a close one, and his feelings were so jumbled lately he didn't know if it was more. He also didn't know if he wanted to find out. What would Elizabeth think?

He didn't even want to think about what she would say to him. He'd turned into a rotten pirate, for gods sake.

"Joseph?"

He swallowed and looked at Caleb, who was still holding his hand and looking at him. "I... I need the night to think on it."

He nodded. "That's okay."

He made to get up. But Joseph held into his hand. "You can stay." He cleared his throat. "Paying for another room seems a waste when this bed is big enough for two."

Caleb smiled. "I'm always for saving money."

Caleb picked up Joseph's pants from the floor and handed them to him, then got into his own before crawling into the bed. Joseph laid on his side, his back against Caleb's chest. He could feel Caleb's head nestled into the back of his neck, and his breathing hot against his skin.

Soon enough, he seemed to be asleep. He sure had a talent for falling asleep fast.

Joseph drew light patterns on Caleb's arm, which was draped over his waist, and started to pick apart his own thoughts slowly.

He was afraid to get into a relationship, especially a serious one. He was fine sleeping with strangers and never seeing them again, but Caleb was different. He wanted more than just sex. He wanted to know him. Perhaps that was what scared him. No one has truly understood him since his wife, because he didn't let them. He kept himself closed off, even to Cecelia. They were close, but not as close as you needed to be with someone in order to be involved romantically.

He sighed through his nose. Elizabeth always said partners should want the other to be happy. That was her condition when marrying him—be happy, even if I'm gone. She'd meant it more as if one was away and the other stayed home or something, but the same argument had to apply after death, right? Maybe he was just trying to justify moving on from her.

He doubted he'd ever truly move on, not when she was so suddenly and violently taken from him. Would that harm a new relationship? Was he even strong enough to maintain a relationship when his last had ended so horribly? So many questions and worries and he had no clue where or how to get answers.

He closed his eyes, trying to quiet his raging thoughts. He was tired, and he had someone holding him. He'd always liked being held when he slept. After Elizabeth died, he wrapped himself in as many blankets as he could stand to replicate the feeling. It was never quite right.

Caleb shifted in his sleep and pulled Joseph tighter, murmuring something incomprehensible. Joseph relaxed into him, feeling himself start to slip off.

Hopefully, clarity would come with the morning.