Love Is Red

Ch. 1 News (Poilet)

"BRRRRR, BRRRR," My annoying alarm clock yelled at me before I hit the snooze button and it made a little beep. I lay there trying to go back to bed but I can't seem to get comfortable. I have a thick layer of blankets atop me. I am supposed to go meet up with my friends but it has been three months since I have seen them. It has also been three months since my mother died. It was really hard for me and my father and I wish we could move out of Azia and forget our lives here. I wish we had the money to move or do anything but my father has been doing all he can to make ends meet. the ends he is using are most definitely illegal. I don't like it but there is nowhere to get a job after the war against Speculo. I got up and sat at the end of my bed taking in the cold air and silence of the morning. It took me a second to wake up and process the morning, unlike my father who wakes up with his clock and gets ready. He told me he wouldn't take the medicine from the government to make him happy. He clearly is. You cant be happier without giving up other emotions like fear, regret, or grief, like the fear of bad people that want to hurt him. Regret for the bad things he does. Greif for mother or the ones he murders. Money is power but power is not money. People hold the lives of others and crush them like an ant without even realizing it. maybe you took a pencil and someone failed a test or you killed someone so emotionless even maybe having fun. People feed on the fear of others. My father is lost to no other circumstance but his own, himself. I got up and walked to the kitchen without a second thought to change. I felt like I was on auto pilot in the mornings just doing the routines my brain tells me to do. The tile floor is cold on my feet and the dim rooms leave me only more tired. I walk into the kitchen where my dad is ready for the day. He has an empty plate beside him which I assume was eggs. He was holding a mug of coffee. He was reading the paper. Every day he reads the same paper over and over again like he is looking to decode something or grasp a fact he can not grasp. The paper is always the one of moms death. I filled a glass with water. A glass of water in the morning helps get rid of my morning headache, but it persists throughout my day making my bad days worse. I want to hurdle up and cry forever. I want Mom to come to comfort me with her warm sweet voice, and her tales sung by an angel. Even after her death, the word seemed to keep going without stopping to think. Almost everything reminded me of her. I went to the fridge and grabbed an egg and scrambled it with some salt in the pan my dad used. Our house was clean and cold so the pan was one of the only items sitting on the counter. I sat at the small round wooden table across from Father. and ate my eggs in silence. Should I go see my friends, it might make me happier. What if they stop inviting me or forget about me if I never answer any of their invites? it has been three months since I have seen them. Just as I was finishing my eggs Father finished reading the paper and set it down. and proceeded to tell me some "great" news. "We are going to Yuma for three weeks!-" My expressionless face lit up but not in a happy way, in a surprised way. I paused my eating to hear what he is going to say next. "-I have to go there for a business trip but I hope it makes us more money and I am going to need your help. This is going to be great!" I don't want to go to Yuma. In fact, I want to go anywhere but Yuma. Yuma is not just the capital of Murane. It is the world's crime capital. They do not have good law enforcement and have not signed the Unification Pact which states that it is an injustice to treat supernaturals differently from humans. "I don't want to go to Yuma. It is the crime capital of the world." I told my dad in a shocked manner. My reasoning for not wanting to go to Yuma was not reasonable and not even logical. My dad worked in the black market business. "We can stay here if you want to I just thought it would be a good opportunity to explore a new place and get more money to afford things. Just remember that I love you." "What is love to you? Dragging me into a life of crime? It is not about me." My father huffed after I finished my fit. "Where else are we supposed to get enough money to afford a house." I crossed my arms. "Mom would find a way," I said looking down at my plate. "it is not a choice is it." I asked. "No." My dad said calmly. "What about toters?" "He will be fine I have already asked Finn's parents to take care of him." "When do we leave?" "tomorrow." At this point, I don't even know what emotions are. I am trapped in a maze. As I began gathering our plates and utensils from the table I told my dad "I am going for a walk to process things." "ok." I put the plates in the sink and then back to my room to get dressed. I had a vanity in the corner that used to be my mother's. I have never dared to use it but the memories of her keep me from selling it. It feels as if everything reminds me of her. Sometimes I smell her perfume it makes me feel safe again. She held our family together through war and hardships. She was there when we had money and when we didn't. Now we are broken. It was a crack but all cracks get bigger until it shadders. I walked out dressed in ripped jeans and a t-shirt with my messy hair still a mess. I don't brush It often enough. I and mom used to do each other's hair. I walked outside without even telling Dad I was leaving. The door creaked as I opened it and I closed it gently. I do not have the energy to throw it closed. I walked down the concrete sidewalk that connected our porch to the sidewalk. Our front garden was overgrown and the bushes dead, like us inside. It is bright outside contradicting how I felt, gloomy. Most of the houses in our neighborhood are the same. Just rows and rows. Maybe it will be nice to go to Yuma. I looked at the concrete as I walked. A car occasionally past me. it is a lot warmer outside than it is inside our house. Maybe I should go meet up with my friends. I pulled my old phone out of my pocket. The screen was cracked and one day it will shatter. "Where are you going? I would like to come," I messaged in the group chat. "The cafe on Honors Road," Finn replied. "We are already here," added Daisy. Luckily the cafe is only around five minutes from where I am currently so ill just walk there. "On my way." I can not believe I am about to do this. They have been so supportive to me and I am just now feeling guilty for ignoring them. It is time I should accept my mother's death but I am stuck in the moment the man came in. I could have done something but I stayed behind the counter. Father was at work. I felt a cold tear fell down my face and splat on the concrete below me. I can't cry. Not in public. I have to suck in my emotions and not show them. I can't sink deeper into this place in my mind. I finished walking until I arrived at the glass door of the cafe.