Love Is Red

Ch. 9 Window

I woke up in a cold sweat. The dream that woke me up has seemed to slip away. I have that feeling that I don't know something but I am so close to figuring it out. My dream I want to remember but I only have an idea of what it was about and not what actually happened to wake me up. I know my mother was in my dream and there was blood. It was scary and- I felt like there was a call for help or a warning just screaming at me. there was something so close but still out of reach from me. Even on my tippy toes reaching out my fingertips were inches away from it. I can see it but I'm blind to it. It teases me like a child teasing a dog with some of their dinner. But that little bit of teasing is just enough to give me something to work with like a hope of sorts. The proximity of how close of just motivated me to try to get closer to it. I pushed off the thick blanket to cool off. I lay there staring up at the ceiling in thought about what my dream was about. "Arg," I grunted putting my hands over my eyes. It was just so close to being answered and I just had to forget. I sat up and hung my legs over the side of the bed angry at myself. I sat and took in the cold air that surrounded me. It helped wake me up. There was a small closet in the room for storage which was already open and had my belongings ready and sorted in it though not in the way I would do it. I never hang up my dress pants and I probably would not even thought of doing it. On a small dresser that sat in the closet sat a photo of me and my mother. We were smiling and that was something that we will never do again. I like to keep it it makes me feel like she is almost still here. I got up and gently grabbed the photo. Standing up I began to talk to the photo, "Hi Mom, I wish you could be here. You could help me. I don't know if you would approve of what I am doing. I know I might have never known who you were But I know who you were to me-," Tears began to fall from my eyes and onto the portrait. I rubbed my finger across her and the smooth glass. My fingers held tightly to to portrait while I spoke, " I have decided that even if I don't know who you were your whole life I knew that to me you were an amazing mother. You were more than I could ever hope or wish for. You were kind and brave, but you showed me that fear is important. Without it what would keep you safe and stop you from making rational decisions? If you could hear me you would probably use the time I blew up a cake in the oven, heh." I stood there with my tears drying on my cheek. My finger on her on the portrait still. "I love you." Not loved because I still love you even if you are dead. I put the portrait down beside my bed on the small nightstand. The light from the lamp above the picture frame reflected off the glass. I sat down on my back again and crossed my arms, hugging myself. "It will be ok," I repeatedly whispered to myself while sobbing. Eventually, my crying faded until I was ready to wipe away my tears and go down for dinner. I got up and huffed before I put my hands on the cold steel door knob and opened the door into the hallway. I put my head up and disposed of my sad face. I can not show weakness. I walked down to the dining hall to see a few people in line and a lot more sitting down. Some were sitting alone and some were chatting amongst themselves. One group was sitting together but didn't say a word. I got in line to get food. The line was going considerably fast. The menu had a few items but I settled on Noodles with vegetables and right before I ordered I had to put my training car into one of the slots. A holographic tablet displayed how much food allowance I had and the menu items and their prices. I walked down to the end of the line to wait for my food. I could see the lady behind the contour quickly preparing my food. She sat it down in front of me at the end of the contour and said, "Here you go sweetie." her smile was warm and kind. Does she know what we are going to do and what some people here have done? I wonder if she is ok with it. "What do you think of this place," I asked her quietly before she could get back to work. "I don't like to think about what this place is for. It makes me feel sick." She seemed disappointed in herself. I wonder what got her here? I know Mr. Arc won't just let people leave. I really do hope she is ok. She turned back and got back to work quickly preparing other people's orders. I Picked up my plastic tray of food. It was warm from the food that was on it. I never really ate like this at home so at least I know the food will be nice and I am guaranteed to have food. I went over to a small table that had two chairs but no one occupied it. The chairs were tall. I used to love these chairs when I was younger. I was tiny and short so I had to climb up to get on them and my father and or mother would laugh at me doing so. The table was drilled into the ground. it had a metal base and a wooden tabletop. I ate my food alone for a while before Sage and his ridiculous came and sat down across from me. "I'm surprised you haven't made any friends to hang out with," I said grumpily. "I have not but you looked lonely so I thought you would like the company." "Well, I do not want the company." "You also look sad maybe talking could cheer you up." I don't want to talk I just want to eat in peace. "What exactly makes you the top operative and if you are why would you need to go through training?" "I completed a mission a while back that was very valuable but other than that I'm just a normal operative." There is that word again, operative. I feel like operative should be reserved for good people, but it is not. He talked a little bit about random subjects that I was paying attention to so I don't really remember what he was talking about. When it was over I went to go look for Father. I walked down the hall. Each footstep clicked on the tile and echoed throughout the hall. I passed the occasional person. I walked until I reached a door that had a shiny metal label that had Mr. Arc's name on it. Before knocking I decided to esadron on what was going on inside. I peered through the window and I saw Mr. Arc on his desk. He was sawing in his rolling chair while talking to someone on the holographic tablet. The good thing about holographic tablets is you can see what's going on on both sides. He was talking to a girl with blond hair though I could not make out who it was. I could not see my father anywhere in the room. I just hope he doesn't catch me or someone walking down the hall reports me. I looked up at the ceiling for security cameras. I did not see any but there could be microcameras though they do not have good night vision. Netlt down and put my ear up to the cold metal surface of the door. I listened closely and heard. "I don't care if you don't want to do it. You will do it because I am your father and you can't live your fancy luxury life without my filthy money." I could not quite hear the sound coming from the hover pad. It just sounded like mumbling. "Oh Daisy dear, I know what you and Fin are planning." This can't be the daisy and fin I know. Daisy does have blond hair. I got up and looked through the window again and I saw dasiy. Mr. Arc is Daisy's father.