Love Is Red

Ch. 11

My Dreams and hopes just dont feal so far anymore. I never though of using my situation to escape and try to live a happier life. Why havent I ran away a long time ago then? It's complicated. I cant just leave my dad and what about money. You need money to survive. It holds power and the ability to have things and live a normal life. "How do you plan to get money? We will need it." I hope they aretty planned this out. "Dont worry we will have more than enough money to get us on our feet," sklyer reashred. "Where are we getting the money?" I dont whant to hurt a small business or rob someone just to get us up on our feet. "As you heard my parents work for EP but they had to earn that posittion. They own a wealthy theater and make a load of money from it but they also make a ton of money from EP." She seemed happy to take money from her parents. She had a mischievous grinn. I smiled to but it was more of a relief smile because I knew the money was not robing some business. I hope most the money comes from the theature because I know that this company called EP dose not do good things to get its money. What dose EP stand for anyway but im to afraid to ask. Maybe I will find out in the future. "Traing starts tomorrow so why dont we all get sleep," Said Skyler. "Good Idea," I said looking down. I had almost forgot what they were training me to become. I dont whant to be a horrible heartless killer that just dose what I am told. I whant to have more freedom than that. "Shure." Oli was either tired or just as some would say going with the flow but in my opinion i would say she just dosent realy care at the moment. We all left the room and spread out to go to our own cockroaches scattering after being caught. My foot steps echoed throught the hall as I walked. They had dimmed the lights to signal it was nightime witch ment it was time to go to bed because there is no windows in the building. I think I am lost. All these doors look so similar and the connecting halls just echo the same feal like an echo. It would be helpful to have a map to help navigate this maze. Previously i thought i new my way around. I got to a common room and sat on the couch for the first time. It was comfy and I seemed to sink into it. I feal like I can just sleep here. Exhausting exsignushes the will to move on. A wish dose not mean I can. So from here I believe if i go straight and take a left and the another left there should be an elevator but you have to pass the first hall. This is just so confusing and i'm just so tired from this long day. The speakers above me made a crackle sound before it came on to hear a man say, " Attention pupils cerfew is in ten minutes so please be in you rooms. Your rooms will lock so there will be no way to get in. They will unlock in the morning for roll. If you are caught there is punishment for staying out late." Oh no, is it aretty that late I better get back quick. I got up quickly and ran down the hall in the direction I thought was the way back to my room but i must be wrong. I though there was suppose to be an elevator here. I huffed and crossed my arms. I rushed back to try to retrace my steps but i could nat make it back. The lights turned of and the doors all locked shut. There was a louchg click. The combination of all the doors locking made a small click sound loud. No, It cant be the time areddy. I crossed my finger and went down until i came to the elevator about 5 minutes later. After that painstaking trip I pushed the elevator button. There was no response at all. I pressed the button a few more times waiting for a light or a ding. I'd hope the elevator doors would magically open for me but that was not going to happen. I pushed the elevator button quickly over and over again hoping for a mircal and then I began to cry. Tears came poring from my face soaking my face and a portion of my shirt. A miracle is not coming. I wish I had a power like sams but i'm just a boreing old human. I put my hands on the elevator and slowly slid down on my knees. I was helpless an hopeless. I had no hope in getting back to my room. "I dont ant to be punished," I whispered to myself cring. I know they are very strict on punishment. Right befoer the lights whent out I had my face up to the elevator. The refeclitoion on my face on the elevator just showed how helpless I am. The lights went out leaving me in the darkness. It was entirely pitch black. There was no light from anywere and nowere fro light to even try to get in. What am I to do besides cry here helplessly. I stopped crying slowly. I have to go do something. Crying here helplessly is not going to help my situation. What to do I thought. I got up onto my foot using the elevator as leverage. I looked down at my wet shirt from crying because I am stuck here. I could sleep on the couch and try to wake up extra eirly or try to pull an all nighter but they could tell im realy sleep and wonder what was going on and maybe punish me. I tried to look around in the darkness but it was almost helpless because the absence of light. Their is no way for light to get into the building because their is no windows or open doors. The only light comes from devices such as lightbulbs in the building. I felt a gentle tap on the back my shoulder. I froze. What can I do. Thats It ive been caught red handed. I can try to say something to defend myself but the chances are its useless. I stepped forward toward the elevator to be out of reach if they tried to hurt me. I turend around quite vilently and all I sawl was a short silhouette. I gulped. I seamed to have forgotten how dark it was in the building. "Hello are you ok?" A sweet voice asked me. The voice sounded famillerier but i was unable to quite grasped who said the words. I gulped before saying, "Yes, please I bed of you I dont whant to face punishment. I will owe you." Thats all it took me to break. I just get so scared so easily. I'm pitiful, realy. How could I just give up like that. "Punishment? Oh, dont worry I ain't gona tell, but you there seem to need some help." What if she just wants me to rad myself out or walk into punishments arm myself. What if she is just a back stabber. Can i realy trust her. I'll try the luck I got. No use letting it rott. "Yes, I do need help. Could you get me to my room." Now I just got to hope for the best response. "Shure no problem. Here." she walked up the elevator and put a card in a small slot under the transparent plastic elevator call button. "There, come on." I dont know who this person is but I have two choices now. One, I can put my trust in her or two, I can try to run jus tin case she is not on my side of the situation. I think ill go with one. I will still probibly get caught if I sleep on the couch so better take a risk. Its better to take the risk instead of just give up. "Ok," I responded meekly. "Oh come on. Your over reacting." I slowly tried to make my way into the elevator but it was hard because of the darkness. "Here let me help you." She was kind and willing. "No it's ok." She grabbed my arm and pulled me into the elevator roughly and brought my hands to the handle so I could keep myself stable as to not fall when the elevator goes down. I grunted as I struggled to grab onto the handle and get a grip. I should also get a grip on reality. I feel lost. I don't know who to trust here and if I should even trust the strange girl and her friends. Also need to stop jumping face first into new situations. I guess it just feels like maybe this or that we help me find out what I am. Like these things can fill the cracks I've made but I feal as if they only make more. I just hope that if I jump into something it will just work out for the better and help who I am. She giggled as I tried to get a grip on the handle and I did rigth befor ethe elevator started to move but bot in time for the doors to close. I asked who's he was because her voice sounded vaguely familiar, "who are you?" She responded suprizeingly, "Oh, I'm Emma. I'm the receptionist." Now I know why she sounded familiar. I guess I just didn't think it was her because of the way she is acting. To me she dident look like such a a nice person. I was just to quick to judge a book by its cover. Before the conversation could progress the elevator halted and click as it lock into the floor. Speakers above us let our a bell sound to signafy that the elevator has reach it's destination. The doors opened smoothly Because the elevator was a newer one. I said, "I can make my way to my room. nervously because I didn't truly know and and didn't know if she would rad me out but she had been quite kind to me. She responded, " don't worry this isn't going to be your terminus" with a giggle. I don't think that it helped me trust in her more but it convinced me to let her escort me to my room. "Ok," I answered nervously. My voice was not trembling but worried. I stumbled out of the elevator once again and she giggled at my clumsyness. "How do you expect to be an assassin with clumsyness like that," She joked. I didn't take it as a joke. It got me to think how can I do this. I may be able to earn skill but will I ever be able to take something as presous as a life. You can't earn another life. I just looked down at myself. I took a deep breath to settle myself. I probably won't have to worry about that if I escape and start something new. I can convince my father to come with me. I just need to find the right time. Dose his loyalty relay in his family or his work. I really took that joke to heart and it echoed thought my brain back and forth. Unlike an echo it stuck to me. "Ha." I was very inexpressive. I just couldn't laugh. "Here I'll help you navigate." She grabbed my arm and guided me through the dark hallways to my room. Her grasp was light and it would be easy to escape. "Here we are. I hope to meet you again. Not as a receptionist or as a strange woman in the halls guideig you back to your room." She used her key card to open the door to my small room and it made a click as it unlocked and she turned the handle and pushed open the door into an equally as dark room. "Yes, and thank your for taking me to my room." She ended the conversation with "bye," and walked away while I couldn't really see her. I heard her footsteps as she walked away. I just waved at the last sight she had of me. I walked slowly into my room and closed the door. I clicked on the lights and popped down on my bed. I looked around my room for my laptop. I looked in the closet jors and in the nightstand to. I looked in my suitcase and under my bed. It was no wear to be found. It had just disappeared or was it stolen. By who and why. The people that want to escape had one but they broke the rule in many ways and most likely snuck it in. Why would anyone want to steal my laptop. It is very old and dosent even run newer operating systems. Could it have been confiscated but why. Whatever the reason is I would like to know why and if I will get it back because while it may be an old cheep laptop it is still to expensive for me to buy a new one. I gave up on the search and turned off my lights and tucked into bed and slowly drifted off to sleep. I wish it was peaceful sleep but it was quite the opposite. I was stressed and vulnerable and sleep may have helped me process my thoughts i could not get rid of my anxiety or my circumstances. I dreamt of falling. I fell into a darkness were only slience plagued me and nothing else. Falling in a dream is usually conterprated as having a feeling of loss or the loss of control. To me it signafyed what was happening. As i fell deeper into the unknown darkness i also fell deeper into my loss. The loss of control and the loss of my sanity. The loss of who i was and the comfort i used to find. The loss of what i thought i used to know. I fell into the loss deeper. The darkness had nowhere to grab just a ledge were i can grasp onto and hoist myself upon it. Something to stop me from falling further or maybe even something to pull me back up or something to climb on even if its slow. But now i fall in all that ive made. It is my darkness.