DAYDREAM → PAUL LAHOTE

° 44

I drove alone to Port Angeles, I'm gonna get something from the house my father own cause Ada asked me to. I didn't ask Mateo to come with me cause I know he doesn't want to and prefers to play with Riley.

I stopped at a big house that looks like everything else. I wonder why they didn't use this, Cass could've live here with her family but she choose to go back to the rez, I don't even know why she left Seattle because all I know is they had a problem.

I pulled out a single key from my bag and push the door open. The interior is good, I can confirm. It suits my father's taste.

He's been for how long? There was dust everywhere and all the things were wrapped in white cloth. He did buy this house before I left but I guess he didn't get to use it cause he started living there, again.

How am I supposed to find what I came here for? There are too many doors to figure out what room belongs to Ada.

I stumble over some boxes, big and small. I fall on the ground on my ass when I stumble a box I didn't see when I was walking. When I look at it, it has my name on it, my old name.

Besides it, there are two boxes and each of them has my sister's name like this one does. I wonder what this box had. Maybe some pictures from our childhood.

I never knew Dad had some of this. Does he really treasure our memories like this? I open the box to see what was inside expecting to see pictures and toys but instead, I saw papers I'd never seen before my entire life.

Maybe the pictures I'm looking for are at the bottom of this box but there's too much paper to go through to get at the bottom of the box. There are many things here, my birth certificate, my baptism certificate, my graduation certificate. some were medical records and there's also my kinder certificate of enrollment.

And adoption paper.

It was an envelope with the title of legally adopted, there wasn't any name of the adoption center.

What and who did they adopt? And why the hell is this thing in my box? Is it possible that Leon's adoption is here? Aunt Maggie mentioned to me that Leon was adopted by Aunt Lilian when he was two years old at the orphanage.

I read it.

Lilith Rogers.

Who the fuck is Lilith?

My hands were shaking as I continue to read the paper. Someone entered the house. Good, I could confront them now but when I turned around I found an old lady I'd never seen before "Oh, I didn't know someone is here." The woman said, scratching the back of her neck. She was holding the other key.

She stared at me for a moment, like she knew who I was "Lily?" The lady asked, squinting her eyes towards me "You've grown." I remember what Aunt Lilian told me when I saw her for the first time again.

"And who the hell are you?" I asked bluntly "Oh, My name is Susan, I'm a family friend and the caretaker of this house." Caretaker? This house is full of dust. How many times does she clean here a month?

"What are you holding? You're not supposed to open any box here." Susan rushed to me before suddenly snatching the paper from my hand so I don't have time to react "Do you fucking know what that is?" I asked. I know she knows by the way she reacted.

"Hey, lady, I'm talking to you!" I grip at her shoulder when she turned her back on me so she couldn't walk away "You shouldn't be here, I'm gonna call Aidan." Susan tried to pull away from my grip as she yelled.

"There's no point, I already fucking knew." I spat and finally, she stopped and sighed "What about you seat down and I tell you everything?" Susan asked, finally meeting my gaze. I crossed my arm on my chest "That sounds about right." I nodded.

Susan pulled the white cloth off the couch before she asked me to seat and told me everything I don't know. Every word she said was stained like red wine in my mind, every last word.

I wish I could just be a kid again, a kid who doesn't know the reality of the world and spend her time daydreaming about her life.

"How could he do this to me? How could they?" I felt a pang of pain in my chest, and tears slowly dropping from my eye. Susan moved closer to me and put her hands on my back "Lily, you have to understand why they did it." I couldn't, I wouldn't.

My real name was Lilith. The name Astraea was my adopted name. It explains why she always calls me Lily.

Liliana Roger is my biological mother. The one I was taught to call mom was a fraud. All my life, they have been lying to me.

Aidan O'Dell is my biological father but Mabel O'Dell is not my mother.

They both cheated on their partners, Dad and Aunt Lilian. The year I was born, Uncle Rod and Aunt Lilian were already married.

All this time she's been cruel to me, she knows.

I should have known by the way she treated me. She knows I'm the product of her husband's affair with her sister and because she can't punish them for it, she turned her anger on me.

Dad and Aunt Lilian were in love before she get pregnant with Cass and she's in love with my father but because she can't have him, she seduce him, and imprinting didn't stop her because my Dad never phased.

Dad cheated on her with Aunt Lilian and there was I. The product of their affair. Aunt Lilian decided to keep me but gave me up to Dad for him to raise me and a few years later, Dad and my so-called mother divorced and she told me it was because of me.

The year I was conceived, Dad and her marriage is falling apart and they stayed together because of me because I needed a mother once I'm all grown up and able to understand it, they divorced.

And that's why she said, it's all my fault my father was leaving her.

She is so blinded by her obsession with him.