Watch Me Drown

13. Faint

(Abby's point of view)

As the day went on, I felt worse and worse. My head consistently hurt, and I was tired. So. Very. Tired. I had thought I'd felt exhaustion the weeks before, but that was all nothing compared to now.

We had stopped for gas, and I had just gotten back into the driver's seat and yawned, when Julien turned to me.

"Are you okay to drive right now?" She asked.

"Yup, just tired." I said. I had been saying that all day.

"I can take over, you know. I really don't mind." She said.

I stared at the steering wheel for a minute, assessing how I felt. I felt like shit. "Okay. You can drive."

We switched seats, then we were off again. I reclined the seat a bit, and rested my eyes.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remember is my eyes shooting open. A dream. Just a dream.

"Abby?" Julien asked, concerned.

"I'm fine." I immediately insisted.

I could remember this dream easier than the ones I'd had that morning, but it faded soon.

Finally, we got back to our apartment. We really didn't pack much, so we didn't have to make any trips back to the car. With my small suitcase and Julien's backpack in hand we went up to the apartment. Julien unlocked the door and pushed it open, then an excited ball of fluff ran to us.

"Dorothea! Hi!" Julien exclaimed, crouching down so Dorothea could get to her. Phoebe had dropped her off earlier that day.

When she moved on to me I picked her up and kissed her head. She licked my face and squirmed in my arms. We played with Dorothea for a while, then unpacked.

"I need to shower," I said when we finished. "My hair smells like hotel sheets."

"Okay," Julien kissed me. "I've been away from my guitar for too long."

She left the bedroom, and as I was getting clothes for afterwards, I heard her strumming away. I debated skipping the shower and going to listen to her. I could listen to her play forever. I had no idea how she did it, remembering chords and positioning her hands and actually sounding like a song. She had tried to teach me how to play multiple times. We never got very far. My fingers would start to bleed, and we would have to stop. After years of guitar, Julien's hands had turned rough, and somewhat indestructible. She very rarely cut her fingers on the guitar.

I did end up showering, which I would very shortly regret.

***

Maybe I made the water too hot. Maybe I was just truly exhausted. Maybe it was the painkillers I had taken earlier. Maybe it was anxiety.

Whatever it was, it was making me feel very unwell. I was shaking. I felt lightheaded, a little nauseous. I could feel my heart rate climbing, slowly getting faster and faster. I was only able to wash my hair before I decided that I needed to get out. As I dried myself off with my towel, my legs were getting weak. It hurt to stand. I was sweating. I could hear Dorothea barking somewhere in the house.

I had only gotten on pajama shorts and a sports bra, when, strangely, I started to lose my hearing.

Then I got really dizzy.

I think I started hyperventilating from panic.

My heart rate shot up, then my vision went out.

And then nothing. 

***

(Julien)

"What's going on, Dorothea?" I asked the dog when she started barking.

She kept barking and yapping, walking around the office, confused. I was sitting on the floor with my guitar. I got up and opened the door. Dorothea ran out, then straight to our bedroom. I stood in the office doorway, watching her.

It was eerily silent for a minute or two, but then there was a loud thud from the bathroom, and Dorothea started barking again.

"Abby?" I called as I walked to the bedroom.

No response.

"Abby? Are you okay?" I asked through the bathroom door.

No response.

"Abby?!"

No response.

"ABBY!"

No response.

I knocked a few times. After receiving nothing, I dropped to my hands and knees, then down on my stomach to look under the door. I couldn't see much. I laid my head down on the floor and focused, hard. I could make out the top of Abby's head. On the ground.

"What the hell?" I said as I jumped up.

I picked Dorothea up and put her in the living room. I felt terrible about it, but I had to close the bedroom door, practically in her face. I ran back to the bathroom door and turned the door knob, seeing if it was locked or not. It was unlocked. I opened the door slowly and carefully, then slid in.

Abby was indeed on the floor. She was unconscious.

"Oh, fuck." I said. I knelt on the ground by her head, trying to stay calm. What did I do? How could I help? Abby was already on her side, so I didn't have to move her. I leaned down and listened to see if she was breathing. She was. I placed my hand on her wrist, checking her pulse. I couldn't really feel it there, so I put two fingers on her neck.

"Shit." I muttered in surprise. Her pulse was fast.

I reached up to the counter and grabbed her apple watch. I put it on her arm, then looked at the number. Her heart rate was above one hundred beats per minute.

Okay. Now I needed her to wake up.

"Abby," I ran my hand up and down her arm. "Abby, wake up. Please, baby."

After a minute of doing that, her eyelids fluttered. She opened her eyes and looked around, confused. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"What...where am...I...Julien?" Her gaze landed on me.

"You passed out." I said softly. I was still holding her wrist, her watch easily accessible.

"I did?" She asked.

"Dorothea started barking," I explained. "So I let her out of the office. She ran into the bedroom, then you must've passed out because there was a noise, and she started barking again."

Abby looked like she was about to cry. I discreetly looked at her watch. Her heart rate was down to a normal number, so I let her wrist go. Abby sucked in a shaky breath.

"Can you sit up?" I asked her.

She nodded. I helped her up, then kept a hand on her back for support. She pulled her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees, her arms wrapped around herself.

"Are you hurt?" I said.

"Can...can you just hold me?" She whispered.

I didn't say anything, I just adjusted my position and guided her into my lap. She curled up in my arms, her head on my shoulder. I held her tight and rocked us back and forth a little. I had learned a while ago that the light rocking thing was calming to her.

In my arms, all quivering and drained, Abby felt very small, and very fragile. That was the moment I knew it was something more. That was when I knew she was sick.

But how sick?

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DUN DUN DUNNNN

I know you were all waiting for Abby to faint lol