Watch Me Drown

42. Traumatized

TW: again, this chapter is intense, so be warned!

(Julien's point of view)

"Abby, come on, Abby!" I cried. "Don't die on me!"

Her eyelids fluttered shut, and her face went slack. Her body relaxed, and with one final shiver, she stopped moving. She was still breathing, but it was shallow and too slow.

"Open your eyes, Abby." I said. "We're not doing this today."

I wiped away my tears, too angry to cry now.

"I swear to god!" I exclaimed. "Don't fucking die on me!"

I shook her cold body, trying to wake her. I found a pulse, but it was weak and thready. Ambulance sirens sounded in the distance. I leaned down by Abby's ear.

"You don't get to die." I whispered bitterly. "You can't."

Nothing.

"If you're dying, then I am coming with you." I went on.

Talking about me dying always shocked her a little. Maybe if I talked like that, she would open her eyes.

"Abigail Brooks!" I yelled. "Open your damn eyes!"

Her skin was turning blue. I rested my head on her chest for a minute, strange sob like gasps in the background of my thoughts. I realized that I was making that noise, and clenched my jaw to make it stop.

Abby's breathing was only getting slower. I lifted myself from her body, so I could plug her nose and blow a breath into her mouth. I did that every few seconds, waiting for the paramedics.

"You fight like hell." I said sternly. "You do not give up. You do not take a break. You stay with me, Abby. You. Stay."

The paramedics came then, running through the graveyard with a stretcher. I let them pull me back, and I just sat there as they examined Abby and then put her on the stretcher. I didn't even respond when they asked me questions or told me something. I may have been in shock. But then, when they carried Abby away, I saw Lucy and Phoebe appear next to the ambulance. I forced my body to work, just for a bit. I climbed to my feet, then slowly made my way out of the cemetery, back to the sidewalk. Lucy and Phoebe saw me coming. They stood on the sidewalk, waiting for me. Finally, I was right in front of them. I stared forward, my mouth slightly open, my eyes welling up. Lucy stepped forward, and placed her hand on my arm.

"Julien?" She whispered.

That was all it took. Tears started streaming down my cheeks, and, with a sob, I brought my hands up to my face. Lucy and Phoebe pulled me into their arms. My body, weak with emotion, seemed to melt. My legs were shaky, unstable. I let my head fall onto Phoebe's shoulder, but only for a second.

"Wait!" I lifted myself from them when we heard the ambulance. "I have to go...I have to..."

But I was crying too hard to do much.

"Just calm down, Julien," Lucy pulled me back into her arms. "We'll get to her, I promise."

She turned to Phoebe.

"Would you get the car over here?" She said quietly. "She won't make it that far."

So Phoebe went to get the car, and Lucy sat me down on the edge of the sidewalk. She held me, my head on her shoulder.

"She's dying, Lucy," I croaked.

"Shh." She said. "They're doing everything they can."

"What...if...it's not...enough?" I cried between gasps.