Watch Me Drown

46. Answers

(Abby's point of view)

"I've never been high before." I said.

"Not even at, like, a college party?" Julien asked me.

"Not even at a party."

Dr. Monroe had told us where the nursery was if we ever wanted to see adorable babies, and we definitely did want to see babies, so Julien and I were standing at the big window that looked into the nursery. Yes, I was standing! Well, I was mostly holding myself up with the bar that ran along the wall, but it was still progress.

"That was a day ago." Julien said. "Are you still high?"

"No," I told her. "I'm euphoric."

She laughed. "You're euphoric?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Babies."

Just then, one of the babies closest to the window yawned and stretched.

"Babies do cause euphoria, don't they?" She muttered, smiling at the infant.

"They're better than drugs." I said. "Drugs felt good, but I'm not gonna have a drug problem, because they made me dizzy. I could have a baby problem. That would be fine."

"I think we should stop talking about drugs in the nursery," Julien whispered. "We're gonna get kicked out."

"After we get married, should we have a baby?" I questioned.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." She answered. I think that Julien would be a great parent, but at the end of the day, she had a career to maintain.

"Julien, one of us isn't just going to get pregnant," I said. "We're lesbians. We'd have to build a bridge if we're going to cross one."

"Okay, that nurse over there looks horrified. We gotta go."

We really did have to go. We were having our "meeting" with Dr. Monroe. I sat down in my wheelchair, and let Julien push me to the elevators. If we hadn't been in a hospital I would have been embarrassed by the chair, which was kind of stupid because it was pretty helpful. God forbid I'm different from other people.

Somehow Julien got us back to our floor. She had a better memory than I did.

"Hello, people," Dr. Monroe greeted us when we met her in front of my room. "How were the babies?"

"Adorable." I said.

She led us to a conference room, where only she and I went in. Earlier, I had told Julien that she didn't have to come with, unless she was needed. I was trying to keep in mind what she had been saying in our argument.

The room was empty, besides the table and chairs of course.

"We just need you to answer a few questions." Dr. Monroe told me as I sat down across from where she would later sit.

She left the room momentarily, and returned with a clipboard that carried a somewhat thick pile of paper. I flipped through the pages after she slid it to me, instantly overwhelmed. Every page had lists of symptoms in tiny font, then a short description of the symptom, which meant billions of words on every surface.

"Check the boxes next to the symptoms or highlight whichever ones you experience." Dr. Monroe handed me a pen and a few highlighters.

"You said a few questions." I said, but took a green highlighter.

"This will get us closer to answers." She told me.

Ugh. She knew how to hook me. Answers. I was starting to need them like I needed hydration.