Watch Me Drown

47. Goodbyes

(Abby's point of view)

I started to come to at the mention of California. I didn't know how long everyone had been talking, or, I should say, how long I had zoned out. There were a few times when one of the doctors asked if I was okay, probably checking to make sure I wasn't having a seizure or something, and I just nodded.

"You two need to leave by late tomorrow morning," Dr. Monroe was saying. "There's nothing more to do here."

I went to rub my eyes with one hand, but the hand just stayed there, my head in my palm. Julien, who had been rubbing my shoulder, patted my arm.

"We'll give you some time alone." I don't know who said that. I was focused on trying not to cry. It's really stupid how, after everything I had been through, crying in front of anyone besides Julien was humiliating.

After the door clicked shut, and all the doctors were gone, it was silent in the small room. I had so many emotions whirling around inside of me that I was afraid to move or open my mouth, unsure of what would come out. I took a minute to calm myself. Julien waited by my side, her endless patience impressive. When I was more in control of myself, I smoothed out my hair and glanced at my watch.

"It's only 3:20," I said. "We could be home early tomorrow morning if we start leaving now."

"I can book plane tickets." Julien told me. I nodded. "Okay. I'll do that. Are you...alright?"

I nodded again.

***

We were ready to leave an hour later. I felt a little strange without what all the IV's had given me.

Me and Julien were waiting by the room I had stayed in when Dr. Monroe showed up. She had a big white manilla envelope in her arms.

"Here are copies of your medical files from the past few months," She said when she handed it to me. "Plus some good articles about what you have, referrals to doctors in your area, ways to improve your health, etcetera. Also...medical bills. Some things were covered by insurance, but not many things."

"Thank you." I told her. The weight of the envelope surprised me. When I opened it, that weight would surely be added to the burden on my shoulders.

After we found a place for it in our luggage, we said our thank you's and goodbyes. I was still a little out of it, but I was aware enough to really thank the people who had helped the most.

Sitting in the airport, waiting until our plane was ready, I opened the envelope, and went straight to the bills. The referrals and files would be my reading material for the plane. I'd already gone through the three books I had brought.

"Don't worry about those." Julien said when she saw me looking. "I just went on tour."

"I don't want you to use that money for this." I told her.

"Then I'll go on another tour." She teased.

"Maybe I won't come with you on that one." I said.

"Yeah." She agreed quietly.

That got me thinking about all the shit that had gone down while we were in Massachusetts. Ugh, my stupid parents. None of that would have happened if they were good to me. I started to get angry in that airport seat. I would leave and never come back to my hometown, never talk to my father or mother, never even be around New England.

But that was no way to leave things. Two wrongs don't make a right, even if one of the wrongs is abuse.

"Julien?" I said.

"Yeah?" She looked up from her phone.

"How much longer until we board?" I asked.

"Uh..." She groaned when she saw the update board. "An hour and a half, but that's always uncertain."