Watch Me Drown

33. Birthday

TW: sexual content

(Abby's point of view)

Julien's birthday show was very fun to watch. The others even surprised her with a cake! I laughed the whole way through the surprise. I swear, Julien is like a toddler. Give her something messy, and she will make a mess.

Her actual birthday, the next day, was a lot less exciting. We took a train ride to Philadelphia, where they would play the All Things Go music festival. A very long train ride. I didn't realize how many traveling hours were put into a tour. Pretty much the second we got off the train, we went to the venue for soundcheck. It would be too crowded the day of the show. I may or may not have been falling asleep in the stands when Julien called my name. The sound, coming out of every speaker nearby, made me jump.

"Oops," Julien said. "Sorry. Sometimes I forget about the microphone."

I smiled at her, assuring her that it was alright.

"Will you come up here with us?" She asked me.

My head fell to one side in confusion. Me, up there, on stage, with them? Lucy waved me over. I forced myself up and walked to the edge of the stage. The barrier hadn't been put up yet. Julien handed her guitar to a stage assistant and then crouched down, right in front of me.

"Yesterday we were talking about how you missed the piano," She explained. "So I figured maybe you could play a little now, if you want to?"        

"Really?" I said, somewhat in awe.

"Of course!" She smiled.

She helped me climb onto the stage and led me to the piano. When I sat down, I immediately rested my hands on the keys. It felt nice to finally have my fingers touching the ivories.

"What are you going to play?" Julien asked me softly.

I played the first few notes of "ur so pretty" by Wasia Project. Julien knew the song immediately. It was strange to have my playing echoing through the grounds. Any key I pressed would be heard in so many places. I felt powerful, yet shy. At least I wasn't singing. Julien did that for me. Lucy and Phoebe had gotten off the stage and were watching us. They looked mesmerized. I focused on the keys. I'd never had much of an audience. 

We had made it to the bridge when, suddenly, I got that stabbing sensation in my chest. Distracted by the pain, I pulled my hands back from the keys, and rested one on my chest, as if that could stop the poking. Julien ran right over. She had been turned in my direction, singing the romantic words to me.

"What's wrong!?" She questioned. "What happened? Are you okay?"

I nodded. I didn't feel too dizzy. I just couldn't get enough breath to speak. Maybe I had subconsciously held my breath, or I had been breathing too quickly. The pain didn't last too long. No more than a minute.

"Sorry about that." I told Julien when it faded.

"Don't apologize," She said. "You can't help it. You're good?"

"Just embarrassed." I admitted.

She turned around and gave Lucy and Phoebe, who looked very worried, a thumbs up.

"Maybe I should go back to watching." I whispered, staring at the piano.

Julien nodded a little. "Okay."

I felt very discouraged as I made my way back to the seats. I passed Lucy and Phoebe silently, settling in the third row. As they went through a couple more songs, I kept replaying the incident in my mind. I really hoped that this was just a one time thing, and that the ability to play my favorite instrument hadn't been taken from me.