Watch Me Drown

37. Naomi

TW: throwing up

(Abby's point of view)

"Shit." I gasped.

I was bent over, my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath after throwing up. I was in some alley next to MSG, hidden by the shadows of buildings. I really hoped that nobody found Julien Baker's girlfriend getting sick at a boygenius concert. My hands were shaking as I rinsed out my mouth with my gatorade. I could hear MUNA. Katie Gavin's voice echoed through the whole place. I tried to focus on the song, and not how I felt. I waited to go back inside until a while after MUNA's set. Then, the boys would be busy, doing last minute things to get ready. They wouldn't have time to notice me, let alone worry about me. I couldn't add to Julien's stress. Plus, I still felt really terrible. I would wait it out, at least until showtime.

My plan worked. When I went back, they barely noticed me.

"Has anyone seen Julien's mic?!"

"Phoebe, get your shoes on!"

"Time for a little touch up, Lucy!"

"PHOEBE! Shoes on!"

"Found the mic!"

"Everyone out and to the stage!"

It was pure chaos. I stepped back when a group of people, including Lucy, Julien, and Phoebe, exited the dressing room. Phoebe was hopping on one foot, pulling on and tying her shoe on the other.

"Hey!" Lucy was the only one who saw me. I practically had to run to keep up with them. "Where were you?"

"Just grabbing a drink." I lifted my gatorade.

"Are you alright?" She questioned. "You look-"

"Go, go, go, people!" Someone stepped in between us, herding them through another hallway.

"Have a good show!" I yelled after them.

Nobody heard me. I regretted leaving. I didn't get to wish Julien good luck. It was like she read my mind. Suddenly, she worked her way out of the crowd, and sprinted towards me, even though a bunch of people yelled at her to come back. I thought she was going to knock me over for a moment, but she stopped right in front of me. Julien reached up and kissed me. I was glad it was just a small touch. My breath was probably horrid.

"I love you!" She told me, then sprinted back, leaving me a little shocked, with a smile on my face. It was enough to forget about my condition, at least for a few short seconds.

***

I made it to "Souvenir" before I started to feel sick again. I had tried to stay for that song, because I loved it, but that was pushing it. I was standing with Katie Gavin, Josette Maskin, and Naomi McPherson, a.k.a MUNA, when I left. Jo called my name when I went, but I didn't turn back. I ran until I found a bathroom, and barely locked myself in a stall before I got sick. Not even a minute later, there was talking outside, getting closer. I recognized the voices going on about gender neutral bathrooms. Oh, god. I was going to throw up in front of MUNA.

"You guys go in there," Katie was saying. "I have a weak stomach."

"I can't either," Jo shot back. "Julien is not going to be the happiest if I'm gettin' all buddy-buddy with her girlfriend."

"Cowards." Naomi accused them, then their voice was closer. "Abby? What's going on?"

Part of me wanted to tell them to go away, that I was fine, but the other part of me really wanted, and needed, someone with me. I honestly didn't know if I was going to pass out or not, and I felt a lot safer with someone around. I shoved away my embarrassment. I would have to be vulnerable, for my own safety.