I've always had a feeling that I would die young. Ever since I started pondering on deaths door I've had this feeling. I could care less about the hell and heaven shenanigans, but death. I want it. The end of my life.
I want to be in my suit, in my...
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Winter is here. The first snowflake hasn't fallen yet, but you can feel it's winter. The cold air forms frosty clouds whenever you breath and the thin school uniform allows the cold air to seep through.
I hate winter. It starts too soon and ends too late. It's dull, cold, lifeless. My skin is dry and my lips are always blue. Sinuses start acting up, but it makes my "flu" much more believable. Since I was a kid, I'd always get violently I'll just before winter began. Maybe that's why my parents haven't questioned my recent behaviour.
It's my first day back at school after two full weeks. I took some time off to help with the snapping and physical pain I was experiencing during the withdrawal. The craving is still there. It probably won't ever leave. I just need to push through mid-terms and I can do whatever the fuck I want until finals.
No one in my school besides my friends and girlfriend knows about my overdose and I plan to keep it that way.
Wrapping my arms over one another as I shiver and listen to my math teacher. This is one of the few classes that I understand what's going on.
It's not that I pay attention, I just get what's happening. I'll look at the question and immediately get what I'm doing.
"Psst." Dylan calls for me. I look up from my doodle paper to where he sits. The seating plan in this class is fantastic. Malika is right in front of me and Dylan is beside me. Malika also has this friend named Hannah... I don't know her last name. She's this brunette girl who I often see Malika with. Dylan absolutely despises her since he doesn't see Malika as much anymore thanks to her.
Dylan pulls out his phone, holding it up to me before I hear the sound of a camera going off.
My eyebrows furrow as he looks back at his phone, pushing random buttons. I try looking at his screen, but it's hopeless. "Oh, no." He says, scrunching up his face and staring at his phone. He lifts it again and asks me to actually try in the photo.
I give him a tight lipped smile while giving a thumbs up. He snaps the picture before repeating the same process of tapping buttons. "Oh god no." He whispers, shaking his head in disgust. "Oh, no, no, no." He physically gags.
"Is everything okay, Mr. Astor?" Our teacher, Mr. Delphino asks him. He pauses, mouth parted open as he stares at him confused. He quickly shakes his head as he slowly hides his phone.
When the teacher looks away, he grabs his phone again. "Noah, we can never have kids." He shows me his phone and I see the most hideous baby ever. "This is what our love child would look like." My face scrunches up as I look at the photo.
There's so much wrong with the baby. His hair is straight but curly. His eyes are such a weird colour and why is the entire face deformed.
He looks back at the photo before he deletes it. I guess Dylan and I will adopt instead. "Malika, Hannah." Dylan calls for them. They turns their heads, looking at the both of us.
