I've always had a feeling that I would die young. Ever since I started pondering on deaths door I've had this feeling. I could care less about the hell and heaven shenanigans, but death. I want it. The end of my life.
I want to be in my suit, in my...
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That was two days ago. He's been in the ICU ever since. I haven't slept since there hasn't been any updates on Noah.
There is a line up of people outside who are waiting to see him, but I can't seem to leave his side. It's like the whole world shifted out from under my feet as I sit here, holding his cold hand as I hear his heart monitor beep loudly, being the only sound in this entire room. His eyes are shut, his mouth open due to the ventilator. I watch his chest rise and fall with every breath the ventilator gives him. His head is wrapped with bandages where the bullet went through. I'm not sure who to thank for letting him live. God? Yeah, God makes sense.
For fucks sake, there is no one. My best friend has a bullet wound in his head. He's got drugs in his system, tuberculosis and ventilator helping him breathe.
If Noah dying isn't enough stress on us all, there is a case going on in Monte Rei for arson on the Singh house and the murder of their only child.
Police claim that when the house was set on fire it left no evidence and Arti Singh escaped until the person who set her house on fire chased her to the beach. That person brutally killed her with a rock. They hit her so many times that the police had trouble recognising her.
For some reason, I believe Noah did it. Something deep down is telling me, yet I did see him at the time police claim the house was set on fire. He was driving. Having the time of his life... I suppose. I mean, he was laughing and he was excited. There weren't signs that he was planning on killing himself, unless there were. He did hug me a bit tighter at Overdrive which was weird, but not so weird that I thought he's going to try to kill himself.
All I feel is pain. So much pain. My chest aches and I feel it crack. It's falling to pieces and I can't stop it.
Does anything mean anything? Am I only reacting? I'm reacting because this isn't actually happening. This can't be happening.
I refuse to believe it. Noah is laying inside this hospital and it seems like he's never going to leave. He's dying.
I've never experienced loss in my life. I didn't ever plan to. Loss isn't something that ever crossed my mind. Matter of fact, I don't think it crosses anyone's mind. We all come into this world full of life, that we don't ever think about how it's going to end. "Thank you for being my brother, Noah." I whisper, tightening my grip on his hand.
I know he can't respond considering he's in a come, but I once read on the internet that people in a coma can still hear everyone around them. "You saved my life." I sniffle and cry just by looking at him. "I love you." I sob quietly, wiping my tears and then crying more because I'm wiping away my very expensive sunscreen. Damn you Noah!
I hear a knock on the door and my eyes shoot behind me to see all of my friends standing there as they watch with concern. "Can we come in now?" Atlas asks and I nod, wiping my tears away before they all slowly walk in.
