My Fake Fiancé

Chapter 10 : Falling again?

Vrrr. Vrrr.

My mobile vibrated, and I ignored it. I still hadn't broken free from the numbness. Actually, I was grateful that I was numb. Even when he broke up with me all those years ago, it took me three full days to shed even a single tear. By the time I started to feel it, it felt like everything was long gone.

Vrrr. Vrrr. Vrrr.

I fished my phone out of my bag. When I saw the caller ID for the first time since I left home, my tears pushed their way through my eyes and fell on the screen. Resist indulging in these little flings, he had said. Not only my family, but also Jamie thought of me like that? Where did I go wrong? Is it really wrong to have a guy friend? Am I really a... really like that? I cried harder at the thought.

No. I wiped away my tears. My parents always had a way of making me think low of myself, doubt myself, and put other people's opinions above mine. I'm not going to let them do that anymore. I placed the phone in my ear.

"Hi Lilly", said Jamie, sounding nervous. More tears gushed out as I heard his voice. I shut my mouth to muffle my sobs and mumbled, "Mm". I didn't want him to know.

"So you're still angry at me?", he asked, sad and uncertain. I couldn't talk. I'd been numb all this time and hadn't felt a single emotion. But his voice made everything come crashing down on me. It made me feel the pain. It made me feel alive.

When I didn't answer, as I was practically drowning in a sea of tears, he continued, "I'm sorry." He said it like he was truly embarrassed about his behavior. "I would've called you in the morning, but I thought you'd be busy. What I said yesterday was unforgivable. I was a complete jerk, but I assure you that I've never been like this before. It was an unfortunate situation. I shouldn't have called you when I was like that. I thought you would make me feel better. But instead, I..." He trailed out and, for some reason, chose not to finish the sentence.

"Look. I know it's not real. I don't expect it to be. I know that your love life shouldn't concern me, and I have no right to inquire about it. Whatever you do and whoever you-", he paused, like he was forcing the word out of his mouth. "whoever you like, I have no right to control you. But when you told me that he was an interesting guy, something else took over. I wasn't myself yesterday. I'm really sorry. I'll do whatever I can to make amends. Will you please forgive me for the first and last time?" Jamie was pleading with me.

I already felt the weight of my sorrow pulling me under, and his words, for some reason, made me more miserable. Once again, I was crying my eyes out. But this time, I wasn't sure why. Jamie waited patiently for my reply, but it never came. My sobs grew louder and uncontrollable until he was able to hear them.

"Lilly, are you crying?", he asked, worried. I cried harder, not caring about the people staring at me. "Lilly! Lillian!! Are you alright? You're not hurt, are you?", he began to scream. "Fucking answer me, Lillian. Where the hell are you?" I swallowed up my sobs and managed to mumble a few words. "Bus stop".

"I'll be right there. Stay where you are. Don't disconnect the call. I'm on my way", he said hurriedly, and I heard his car start. He kept on saying that it was okay, but I knew it was not. I was feeling all the emotions at once. Rage. Guilt. Despair. Betrayal. Doubt. And something else that felt like... a long-forgotten feeling.

Within five minutes, Jamie was there with me at the bus stop. He kneeled in front of me, grabbed my hand, and examined my body for injuries. He didn't know that it was inside, throbbing in pain. When he found no trace of any wounds, he relaxed a little, taking a long breath and placing his forehead on my lap, still holding my hands tight like I'd disappear if he didn't. The hole in my chest became bigger as he glanced at me after five minutes with glassy eyes.

"Do you have any idea how terrified I was?", he said with so much concern that I felt all my anger vanish like mist in the summer sun. "I thought you were at home with your parents. What are you doing here?", he asked. I had to tell him anyway.

"I couldn't take it anymore. So I left this morning", I mumbled. It was late at night now. I had spent three hours since I'd arrived, simply sitting and staring at nothing, before I got the call from Jamie.

"Do you want to talk about it?", he asked in a soothing voice, like he was talking to a ten-year-old.

"She..." I took a deep breath. "She called me a whore...My mother". I cried again, harder and louder, when I felt his hands wrap around me like a shield that would protect me forever. I stopped crying the instant his skin touched mine. Something bloomed inside my chest, filling the hole of hollowness I'd felt all my life.

"It's ok. I'm here with you", he said, his hands gently patting my back. "I know you're not like that. You know you're not like that. Alex, Anya, Elle, Ricky, Joel, No one thinks you're like that. What else do we need? Don't care about people who don't care about you". His touch was so firm and reassuring. He meant each and every word he said, and I could feel his warmth envelope me whole into a cocoon of care and protection. It felt like I was in a safe place where I didn't have to worry about anything or anyone in the whole world. It felt like I was where I belonged. It felt like I was home.

I felt my skin burn when he touched me. I felt like I needed my whole body to burn. "You'll be alright. I'm here with you, ain't I? Everything will be alright", he said, and at that moment, in his arms, as he tried to console me, I understood what I was feeling.

I pushed him away in panic, and he looked at me confused. "Go away from me. I don't need you", I said without meeting his eyes as I walked away, leaving him on his knees dumbfounded and heartbroken.

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OMG! 10 chapters are done and the story is barely started. I guess it will be longer than I thought! Trust me, I'll make it worth it.

Why do you think Lilly panicked? How do you think Jamie would've felt? Do you feel bad for Lilly?

Love. Is never simple.

Leave a comment guys!