The cool evening breeze did nothing to soothe me. My mind was in ruin. I didn't understand what was going on. What was he thinking when he left without a second glance? It surprised me how a single person could influence me so much, that too without speaking a single word. Probably, especially because he didn't say a single word. But still, it made me wonder if any human being could really be someone whose happiness didn't rely on others. Maybe they could be, but I doubted if it would still be called living.
There were multiple small talks going around me in the car, but my mind tuned out everything. Leaning on the window, all I could hear was the wind blowing in my face and the thumping of my heart. My heart felt unnaturally heavy, and I wanted to talk to... Noah. I hadn't expected to be thinking of him as much as I was now. It was like some old, locked-away part of me had been opened after ages.
It made sense in a way. Noah had been my safe space, the person I leaned on whenever life made it difficult to breathe. He never did anything for me. There was nothing he could do, even if he wanted to, but he had always been there. He just existed and listened. And at that time, that was all I needed.
I remembered once when I was talking with Noah.
"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be free?"
His eyes sparkled a bit. "I could only imagine."
"You know. I always imagine myself in some foreign land, discovering cultures, trying new foods..."
"Making new friends," he added.
"Trying different sports," I said.
"Learning new things,"
"Going on adventures." I knew we both liked them.
"Playing in the snow,"
"Climbing mountains,"
"Jumping off cliffs,"
"Enjoying the ruggedness of nature,"
"Living by myself," His face changed a bit when he said this. Like he was determined to make this particular one come true.
"With a few dogs." I glanced at him, smiling. He loved dogs and always wanted to have a few, but his parents hated them.
He beamed at me and continued, "With no one to tell me what to do,"
"Or rather, what not to do,"
"To be ourselves,"
"Free to love,"
"Free to live."
It almost sounded like a dream to me then. We sat in silence for a few minutes, imagining the perfect life we both wanted. We were similar in that aspect, too. We were both dreamers. Unrealistic ones at that.
Softly, out of nowhere, he said, "We'll do it."
I looked at him, confused. His face was calm and serene. Like he believed each and every word he said.
"One day. We'll have the freedom to love and live as we wish. There will be a day when we think about today. You, me, and my dogs in a cramped hiking tent somewhere in the middle of nowhere. We'll laugh about how silly we were when we were young. We'll talk about how life turned out to be exactly how we wanted it to."
I hadn't agreed with him then, but I didn't object to him either. Unlike me, he had hope, which in a way kept not only him but also me going. It was like an investment for the future. I wanted a future where I loved who I was, and in a way, Noah made me willing to lose whatever was necessary to make my dream come-
YOU ARE READING
My Fake Fiancé
Romance"You may feel disgusted by me, Lillian. But remember. I'm your fucking fiancé. Not him". The minute he said those words , the whole world tuned out. The chatter of people, the honking of vehicles, and the football match playing on television. Everyt...
