Sweet Summer Sunsets- A Robert Irwin FanFic

Ashley

"It was horrible," I started, sitting up and resting my chin on my knees so she could stare out into the ocean, "I think it's pretty obvious that James is Cait's dad, and the adults handled it well, other than my mum who was horribly upset about how long it took me to get there, amongst other things. And then I made things worse by saying it went better than I thought, and Cait heard that which means she found out that I knew this whole time, which was not great. And then I snapped at mum and by the time I made it upstairs she was breaking bottles, so that's great. I didn't see her when I left, and I didn't dare to look at the kitchen to see if she cleaned anything up. I figured maybe she was passed out in her room, and I didn't really care if she did or didn't clean, I wasn't going to do it. So here we are. And I think Cait hates me now and I just don't want to deal with anyone or anything else right now, and I just want to sit here and be with you."

I was out of breath by the time I finished, but Robert didn't say anything. He turned and looked at me, no doubt noticing the tears on my face, before putting an arm around me and pulling me into his side. He kissed the top of my head, and we both stared out at the ocean together. 

I watched as the sun reflected off the water, and the crashing waves stirred up different shades of blue and grey. Sea birds made noise above us, and I wished so badly to live in this moment, forever, for all of my days to be like this- peaceful, slow, quiet, with Robert.

The sunset caused the sky to be ablaze with different shades of yellow, pink, orange, and a bit of purple. It was a beautiful swirl and mix of colours and I took out my phone to take a photo, knowing that I would never be able to capture the exact look of them when painting. 

Robert loosened his arm around to let me move to take a few photos of the sky and the ocean reflecting the sunset. 

Once I had taken enough photos that I thought would be good references, I moved, gently moving Robert's body to accommodate how I wanted to sit. Eventually, I situated myself so I was lying on my back, watching the colours of the sky and clouds shift and fade, with the back of my head on Robert's lap, my hands folded over my stomach.

Robert had his right arm stretched so he was rubbing my right elbow, and his left hand was gently playing with my hair, stretching the curls and watching them bounce back into place. 

His face was blank, other than his blue eyes which had become more of a storm grey-blue, as they generally did when he was sad. And I realised that maybe he was sad about my situation too. 

I couldn't help but wonder if maybe he was upset about something else, or if something had happened at the zoo or anything, and that maybe I was being self-absorbed and making everything about me. I felt my heart quicken as I began to overthink it, and before I could try to tell myself that I was wrong-

"Are you okay? You look sad and I'm sorry if I made things all about me, if you're going through something too, you are more than happy to talk about it but I couldn't keep my thoughts in anymore," I blurted out, speaking fast and fiddling with the rings on my fingers. 

"No, love, you're fine. I'm fine," he said, gently stroking my cheek with the hand that was in my hair, "I was just listening. And it hurts my heart that you're going through all of that and I can't do anything to help. And I feel like I actually did the opposite of that and made things worse with the way your mum yelled at you this morning." 

He spoke quickly too, and I think maybe he was relieved that I asked him how he felt, Not necessarily because it was me, but because someone had asked him how he felt. I knew Bindi and his mum loved him and cared about him and worried, but I also knew Robert. 

I knew how sometimes he pushes his feelings down, especially in situations where he has to keep up appearances. I know how he didn't want to worry his sister or mum or me, and sometimes didn't say anything unless he was asked. I loved that he always answered truthfully, at least when I asked.