A New Road ➢ Thomas Brodie Sangster

Begin Again

Shuffling in my slippers and pulling a robe over my body as left the comfort of my bed, I made my way to the front door to appease the knocking.

Blinking my eyes slowly and wiping the sleep away, my eyes focused on his brown hair ruffled, his eyes red and darkened, pale and ill. "Thomas? What are you doing, it's almost 3 in the morning?"

"I need to fix us," he said, his voice cracking.

My stomach dropped at his words. Since the phone call, things still hadn't gotten better. We were still distant, never having the time to see each other. He had to repeatedly travel around the US and Europe for work while I remained California. A month of being together but at the same time not.

"Thomas-"

"No, Jade. Please," he cried, his hands shaking as they rested on the door frame. I nodded my head and stepped aside, letting him by as I closed the door behind him.

He paced a little behind the couch before settling on standing. His brown eyes focusing on me, the desperation clear. "This past month has been so hard without you," he began, his voice small and timid, scared of what I would say. "I thought, maybe giving us time apart would be good, but it made things worse."

My eyes fell to the floor, trying so hard not to nod in agreement.

"Jade, I need you," he cried, taking tentative steps forward as if I would lash out, "I love you."

"I love you too, Thomas. But you're never here. We never got to fix the problems we had," I said, my voice cracking through my tightened throat. "After the shock we had in London, we never got to fix that. We were still in shock and then you left."

His hands shakily reached forward to mine but pulled back at the last minute when he registered my words. "I know. I made mistakes. But I'm gonna fix them."

"How? How are you going to fix them, Thomas? You can't change the past. You forgetting to put on a condom I could get past. The argument we had later and us being distant could have been fixed, but you left. How are we supposed to come back from that if we don't know where we stand?" I screamed, my eyes teeming with tears as my face burned in emotion.

I could see his eyes brimming with tears as well knowing he caused pain, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have.. When I was gone, I realized how much I needed you. I need you, Jade."

"So I'm supposed to accept the fact that it took you leaving to make you realize you need me," I scoffed, stepping back and wiping at my eyes.

His mouth hung open at my remark and he shook his head, "I caused both you and myself a lot of pain, but I want to fix that. I want us both to happy again, Jade. I'm not running away this time."

"And how am I supposed to believe that? What if things get tough and you run off immersing yourself in work?"

Thomas cupped his shaking hands around his mouth and took in a deep breath, "Look me in the eyes right now. Tell me if you still love me or not. If you do, then I will fight every day to fix all of our problems. I'll make you happy, love you every second of every day. If you don't, then I'll leave. I won't cause you anymore pain."

My brown eyes met his own, my heart lurching as I thought back to all of the happy memories we had. The past month hadn't been good, all of my thoughts surrounded by Thomas. He had left me, us, behind. But he came back. I know I shouldn't be with someone who ran off, but deep down I know that Thomas didn't mean it.

"I still love you," I whisper, my words bringing a breath of relief from his lips.

"Can we please begin again?" Thomas asked closing the gap between us and resting his hands in my hips, his touch warming my body.

"A new road," I answered, the smile spreading on my face as my lips met his, fitting perfectly together after everything.