My Best Friend's Dad - L.H

20

Its been a month. 

A month since I saw him. 

A month since I felt his soft lips on mine. 

A month since I felt his warmth around me. 

A month since I truly and utterly felt loved. 

Hours after hours of begging Sebastian he finally agreed to not tell Tilda. I feel so guilty every time I see her. She thinks I got some sort of depression or some shit because I don't want to hang out with her and I don't want to leave the house if its not for school.

My life was totally turned upside down when I got together with Luke, and now everything is the way it was, but I can't handle the life I had before now that I'm craving my "Luke" life so much. 

He is in my dreams, he is in my thoughts, he is everywhere. 

My love for him is indescribable. The pain that I feel every time I see a picture of him or just think about is unbearable. 

I never really truly believed in love, never believed in the stories that people would tell about find "the one", never understood the thinking behind the famous Romeo and Juliet . 

But now I do. 

I really do.

I would kill for Luke. I would die for Luke. That is why it pains me so much that I can't see him. My heart screams to go see him, but my mind fights against it every time, yet I stand here infant of his front door.

My hand just seconds away from banging against the tall wooden door to create the sound that alerts people of someone being there to see them or alert them of something. 

I breath in a sharp breath, my hand coming closer to the door. 

My hands drops down to the door making a quiet bang sound. 

I was about to flick my wrist another time to repeat the banging sound but decided against it seeing that it would be very bad if Sebastian answered the door. 

My head hangs once again low as I turn around and walk away from the house. My feet drag me across the warm pavement, left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot. Thats all I ever do anymore. Just walk. Not because I want to, not because I enjoy it. I don't enjoy anything any more. Food is tasteless and boring, the only emotion I ever feel is sadness and the guilt is eating me up. 

By the time I come home my cheeks are tear stained and my heart is beating twice as fast as it was when I left the house. 

It is Saturday, another Saturday where I will sit at home and watch sad movies, while eating Ben & Jerry's ice cream.

I was invited to some party but I don't want to go (of course). 

I don't see the reason to why I should go and get drunk like all the other dumb teenagers...

Wait. Maybe alcohol is the thing I need right now. Of course it is. I need to forget, just for a night, how it felt to love Luke.

I walk into that bathroom and take a long hot shower. The hot drop of water numbs my skin and feels nice against my pale skin. 

I turn the handle and stop the stream of water before stepping out of the glass shower. I sigh as I see my reflection in the mirror. I never liked by body. I used to be over-weight but lost a lot of weight around 8th grade. But even though I am thinner I still think that I look fat. My thighs are huge, my arms are bulky and my stomach is bubbly. But Luke made me forget all that. He made me feel beautiful and happy. Something I didn't ever feel before I met him.

I grab my towel and dry my body and hair quickly. I walk into my room and take out a pair of black skinny jeans and a simple white t-shirt that has smoked of pattern on the bottom. 

I skim on my clothes and go to the bathroom once again, to dry my hair and apply some mascara and a bit of foundation. 

I look myself in the eye and swallow hard. 

I nod my head before whispering something to myself, "You can do this Milla". 

I pulled a fake smile and left the bathroom. 

I stepped down the steps of my house slowly. 

"I'm going out" I yell before opening the door. 

"And where do you think you are going young lady?" my mum asked, crossing her arms infant of her chest and rising an eyebrow at me. 

"Out" I grunt. 

"No you are not. You failed your math test. What the hell happened to you Milla?" My mum said, worry obvious in her voice. 

"Love happened" I groaned and walked out the door. 

"Milla!" my mum yelled after me, but I was sprinting down the road as fast as I could. 

When I couldn't see my mum anymore I stopped running and walked over to the train station. 

I found the address on my phone and got off at the station closest to the house. 

There was some kind of tingling in my fingertips. My heart started aching but I can't let it. I picked up my pace and charged towards the house full of drunk high school students 

I walked into the house and the smell of alcohol hit me right as I entered the building.

I loved it. 

I walked over to the kitchen and took a red cup and filled it with what ever there was. 

After about three cups I could feel I was beginning to get tipsy. 

I was starting to forget. 

Finally. 

The pain is disappearing. 

___________________________________________

GUESS WHO IS BACK!

Oh my god guys I totally understand if you hate me. I would hate me. 

But I finally updated. 

hope you guys like it. 

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Love you guys <3

-Fie