My Best Friend's Dad - L.H

23

A week.

A week without Mathilda.

A week with only sadness.

A week of pure regret and guilt.

Mathilda moved out of Luke's house a few days ago.

Sebastian still lives there but is out often and comes home late and with alcohol on his breath.

That's at least what Luke said.

I talk to him sometimes.

Only over the phone.

I miss his face. I miss his beautiful electrifying eyes that I can get lost in every second of everyday. I miss his soft lips pressed against mine. I miss his laughter that can lighten anyone's day. I miss everything about him.

I've tried to move on.

I really have.

I try every day.

But my thoughts always wonder back to him.

I can't get over him. He has some kind of control over me without me knowing. I hate it, but I somehow love it.

Everything I do is for him. But of course my drunken mind had to ruin his life.

He says that it's okay but I can hear that he isn't okay. I mean his freaking daughter left him to live with someone she hates. To know that someone would rather live with a person they despise than with you is hard.

A few months ago I had my whole future planned out. A future with him. A future with Mathilda too.

But I've ruined that for myself.

"Milla are you listening to me?" My friend Kira said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Oh yeah, sorry, what were you saying?" I said.

She sighed.

I've only really been hanging out with her because she insisted that we should spend more time together and now that I can't be with Mathilda I don't want to be some loner walking around in the halls looking like someone who hasn't slept in days.

Even though it's true, I don't want people to know that.

"You have been like this the whole week" she shook her head.

"I'm sorry, I'm just a bit distracted" I replied.

"Mathilda? What happened with you two anyways? Last week you guys were inseparable and now you can't even look at each other" she asked.

"I don't want to talk about it"

"Of course you don't. I'm just trying to help Milla and you won't let me. Stop trying to push everybody away. The only thing we want to do is help you" she raised her voice.

She was right.

"It's hard" I said, dully.

"Milla stop always taking the easy way out. People are just trying to help you" she said, picking up her bag and leaving the lunch table we were sat at.

I was left alone once again.

It was my own fault.

I keep pushing people away that want to help me so there is no one left.

I want them all back. I want them all back into my life. But how can I when the only thing I've done is pushing them away.