I Stalked my Girlfriend

Car Trip

 Wounds heal, they always do, but some wounds leave scars while others just bruze. Around this time I went out and bought myself a new laptop to replace the one I murdered in my bed room. Vanity, Kelly and Deroy were my closest friends at school and my social life was at its peak. As far as the world and I knew, Kelly was still my girlfriend and I was okay with that. I can't really explain that winter, but I can tell you, when it ended it closed the book for a lot of things in my life.   

HA! It's funny ... no matter how hard I try to put up this front, as if I'm fine... It becomes more blatantly obvious that I'm not. Just yesterday Amora's facebook page was taken down and her phone was disconnected, my loss huh. When is my memory going to stop reminding of me, I guess it's for the best.

lonley...I am so lonely, I have nobody~ to call my own~~~

How accurate.  This song reminds me of...

"Kai isn't that your phone ringing? Answer it before I take you off my plan, I don't pay for you to ignore call. "

"Yes. Yes Calm down!" I answered in korean. I began rummaging through the coach seat for my new HTC.

"Don't tell me calm down I'm not on your level, you need to calm up!"

Oh my God! "Dad what are you saying. Jeeeze."

so lonely,~

wow this song is kinda depressing.

I have nobody~

As long as I've been digging for this phone, the person on the other line must have something important to tell me. I thought...

Mr.Lonely~

"Hello?"

"Kai it's me... Kelly."

"Yeah! What's up?."

"I'm going dress shopping later today wanna come? You can help me pick out a dress to wear to formal."

"Really! that sounds interesting." I articulated sarcastically.

"I promise I'll make it real interesting." she replied giggling.

"I hope so." I teased. I never figured she'd take me seriously.

We made the plans for later that day.

I can't lie it got easier with time, I used new memories to block out old ones.  Around this time I was learning to let things go and this lesson numbed me.

I showered and wore my hair the way Kelly liked it. I put on whatever was clean and pranced over to my desk. With hours to spare I pick up my pen and composition book  and named it my journal. I wrote down as much as I could about the last four years of my life before falling into a nap. The truth is I didn't want to forget everything, I just didn't want to feel everything.

A few hours later, all but I had abandoned the house and just when I was monstering a icelical from the freezer there this  knock at the door. Being me, I was all but anxious to answer it.

"Who?" I moaned.

"Mail man." he moaned back playfully. Ewwhh I thought, I shouldn't have started  it. I opened the door smirking at the ambiguous uniformed guy that showed up at that exact hour every day since we moved here.

"Your growing up!" he added glancing at me before  handing me a stack of mail.

"I know." I replied popping the green tea icicle into my mouth to clear my hands for the slew of letters.

"See you monday. "

I nodded and waved. After shutting the door behind me I paced across the room to the dining room table. One by one I tossed the letters onto the polished wood.