corrupted lungs | d.w #Wattys2016

n i n e

I wasn't exactly aware of everything that'd been happening during the night, before I stepped inside of my own warm, welcoming house.
While being with Dallon, I hadn't noticed my hands freezing and I hadn't noticed myself shaking. Being with Dallon, was probably close to being high on drugs.

I'd never been high and wasn't planning on getting either, but I guessed that the feeling everyone described it as was similar to what Dallon made me feel. It felt like everything was fantastic, everything was okay and I had nothing to worry about. I wondered if I was the only one feeling that way around him. But then I remembered- no one ever spent time with him, so of course I was the only one.

And his eyes. God, his fucking eyes. I'm pretty sure that if you pressed your forehead against his and stared into his deep blue eyes, you could probably spot a storm on the ocean through them. The waves crashing into each other and the sky lighting up with thunder...

I was pulled out of my thoughts as the front door opened downstairs and my parents yelled something that I couldn't make out. They were back. I sleepily reached for my phone on the nightstand and pressed the home-button down, making the screen light up. 12:23 am. Shit. Did I fall asleep? No. I was pretty sure I'd been awake. Or maybe it just felt like that. Maybe I drifted off to sleep.

I got up from my bed and wandered downstairs, getting met by my dad who was on his way towards the stairs. His eyes lit up as he saw me. "Hey, sleepy head." He chuckled and that made me smile.

"Hi." I mumbled back, rubbing my tired eyes. "How was dinner?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"It was great," my mom replied with a smile as she hung her coat on the hanger by the door. "Have you eaten anything honey?" She asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, me and Sarah. She came over earlier and we ate pasta carbonara together." I explained to them, and they nodded with a little smile.

"We didn't wake you up, did we?" My dad asked, coming up to me and pressing a kiss to my temple. "You look burned out."

I slowly shook my head. "No, I was awake." I wasn't sure if that was the whole truth, but I was too drowsy to go into detail about it to them. "But I think I'm heading to bed now. It's been a long night." I smiled, before we exchanged our goodnights and I headed back upstairs.

I closed my door, leaning against it as I pulled my hair up into a messy bun. My eyelids felt heavy, like rocks were placed on top of them and weighing them down. It felt like moving through water as I headed towards my bed, but I finally fell onto the soft blankets. I dug my head into my pillow, and immediately fell into the black unconsciousness, into the land of my dreams.

+++

When I woke up the day after, my head whipped up from the pillow in panic. My alarm hadn't rung and it always did. I must've forgotten to set it last night. I frantically searched for my phone, that somehow had ended up under my blankets down by my feet. I pressed the button and the screen lit up.

6:22 am.

I groaned loudly and fell back onto my pillow. It was Saturday, and I woke up four hours too early. Isn't that great?
I knew I wasn't going to be able to fall back to sleep, so I placed my feet onto the cold floor and walked over to my closet. I pulled on a pair of white jeans, socks and a brown sweater that would fit the weather perfectly, even if I wasn't planning on going out today.

I quietly moved downstairs. The events of last night was still imprinted in my head and I saw the images of Dallon, the way his head was bent down to look at me, the way his eyes were glistening in the streetlight. I tried to shake off the odd feeling that still hadn't disappeared as I prepared cereal for myself. I sat down by the table and shoved a spoon full of dripping milk and flakes into my mouth and chewed slowly.

I heard the tick of the clock on the wall, and in a way it stressed me out, so I tried to keep myself busy so that the ticking eventually would fade out. I looked around me, first now realizing that the snow outside was falling down fast and that our whole driveway probably was filled with thick layers of snow.

Once I finished my breakfast, I placed the bowl and the spoon in the dishwasher and headed towards the hall. I didn't want to give my parents so much work, so I decided to get out in the cold weather and dig out our driveway. I got dressed in my coat and a pair of boots before going outside. The cold hit me as soon as I stepped out the door. I shivered.

I grabbed the shovel and started scooping up snow onto it, before tossing it to the side. I kept going like that for a while, until a part of the path leading up to our front door finally became visible- but I still had much left to do.

I kept shoveling snow until my arms were aching and felt like spaghetti. I stabbed the shovel into one of the piles of snow and breathed out, leaning against the shaft of the shovel.
I heard a giggle behind me and turned, finding the tall giraffe smiling at me.

"Hey Gabe." I said and he raised his hand into a small wave before adjusting the gym bag hanging over his shoulder.

"Tired?" He asked and I nodded.

"I woke up around six am, ate breakfast and then decided to shovel snow, which now feels like a bad idea." I told him which made him giggle again. Honestly, it was one of the cutest things I'd ever heard.

"I get why you're tired." He said with a smile.

I smiled back. "Where are you going this early?" I asked him.

"It's eight am." He said with a grin. "I'm heading to the gym." He explained and I pushed some hair out of my face. "Care to join me?" He smirked.

"You wouldn't want me there, I'd probably pass out of tiredness after five minutes." I giggled awkwardly. "I'm not the kind of person who heads to the gym- trust me, I've tried."

The boy just smiled. "That's alright." He said and I pulled the shovel out of the snow. "Hey, me and my band are playing down at the music school later tonight.." He started and I could sense the nervousness in his tone. "I just wondered, uh... Maybe you'd like to come and watch?"

A light blush spread over my cheeks. I'd never really been "asked out" before and now that I was, I didn't really know how to react.

"You have a band?" I asked instead, as if he hadn't made that clear already. I felt kind of dumb.

"Yeah. We've recently started jamming together." He said.

"That's cool. You have a name yet?" I asked.

"Midtown." He said rather proudly, and I smiled.

"I'd love to come. What time?" I asked and his face brightened up.

"Our performance starts around eight pm, but I could meet up with you here thirty minutes earlier or so.." He spoke quickly and I smiled.

"That would be great." I told him. We exchanged a few more words, before he had to run off to the gym.

I felt my stomach twitch and turn a little. Was I nervous? Yes. Would I hesitate to even go in the last minute? Definitely.