corrupted lungs | d.w #Wattys2016

t w e n t y e i g h t

We didn't talk about it. Our almost-kiss. Even though me and Dallon were hardly ever separated during the holidays. He even stayed the night several days because he didn't think it was an idea to go back to him since he'd show up at my breakfast table anyways. I never complained.

I still wondered how I managed to keep my mouth shut about it. I was usually the one who always opened up about stuff, but I guess in a way I didn't want to talk about it. If I did, we'd had to figure out how we felt and I didn't want to do that. I liked what we had now and I didn't want to change it or risk losing Dallon. Some would probably call that selfish.

I spent Christmas with Dallon's family, Gabe's family and with my own family. Let's just say that there was a lot of people in our house that day. My six months old cousin Ellah was there too, and Dallon fell in love with her at the very first sight. He held her in his arms, played with her and made sure she got some sleep. I almost teared up when I watched them.

He'd make such an amazing father.

A few days before New Year's, me and Dallon flew up to The Big Apple, also known as New York, together with Gabe. We spent the days roaming around the beautiful city, shopping and having coffee breaks at small cafés that I didn't want to leave while we spent the nights laughing hysterically at lame jokes in our hotel room. We ended 2015 and rang in 2016 at Times Square, watching the fire works go off together with thousands of other people. It was the best way to end the year.

Flying back home the next day wasn't fun, as I had to deal with a pounding headache, thousand of other travelers that were heading home and Gabe's constant whining. He was nineteen, but could act like a little baby sometimes. Dallon mostly slept through the trip. I managed to get some sleep too, once Gabe shut up and decided to use Dallon as his pillow while he got some rest.

We arrived back home late in the evening and Gabe drove me and Dallon to our street. I gave the tall man a long hug, thanking him for everything even though he wouldn't stop whining on the way home. He just laughed, pressed his lips to my temple before pulling back to hug Dallon goodbye.

Me and Dallon watched him drive off and it wasn't until we no longer could see his car that we spoke; Dallon going first.

"You mind if I come in for a while?" He asked and shifted his gaze towards me.

I shook my head, "You know I don't." I smiled, before grabbing his hand and my suitcase.

The house was mostly dark, except for a small lamp and a few candles lit in the living room. My parents were cuddled up on the couch, watching some old Indiana Jones movie on the tv. They didn't notice us until we stepped into the living room. I lightly knocked on the wall to gain their attention.

"Hey, you two." My mother smiled at us. "Did you have a good trip? Where's Gabe?"

I smiled back at her. "He had to head home to his mother. She's sick." I explained and my mom nodded her head a little.

"Our trip was great. It was... nice to get away from town after all." Dallon continued and I agreed.

"Are you staying the night, Dal?" My dad asked.

Dallon looked down at me and I looked up at him. He shook his head a little and looked back up to face my dad. "No, not tonight." He smiled. "My parents haven't seen me in forever." He chuckled a little. We didn't say much more and Dallon helped me carry my bags up to my room.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" I wondered as I embraced him in a hug.

"You bet." He whispered, his voice muffled against my hair.

I smiled and squeezed my arms around his waist. "I'll follow you downstairs."

We parted from our hug and headed down the stairs. Dallon said goodbye to my parents, told me goodnight and flashed a smile before leaving. I watched him leave and closed the door behind me when I was sure he'd entered his own house.

I headed back upstairs, preparing to start up my laptop. It wasn't that late yet and still, the holidays wasn't over. It wouldn't hurt checking Tumblr for a while.

That thought disappeared when I couldn't get my computer to start up. I pressed the start-button, the screen lit up and it made some noises before shutting off. I repeated the process several times, thinking it was just a glitch but it was hopeless.

Rather annoyed, I headed downstairs again. "Dad," I called as I walked into the living room. "May I use your laptop? Mine won't start. I think it's broken." I explained. He sighed a little, but nodded.

"Alright. I'll take a look at it tomorrow." He promised. "It's in the kitchen. But don't stay up all night." He told me, and I just smiled before getting his laptop and heading up the stairs.

I seated myself on the bed and tilted the screen up. It was still on. He must've been using it earlier. I logged in, and the email application was up. Just when I was about to shut it down, a few words in one of his most recent received emails caught me off guard. I knew I wasn't supposed to spy on what he did. It wasn't my business. Except that this was.

I read the words over and over, trying to take it all in, but my heart just broke over and over each time I read the simple sentence. No.

Not again.