corrupted lungs | d.w #Wattys2016

t w e n t y o n e

The school days seemed to move slower nowadays. I hung out with Sarah and Breezy on a daily basis, and Dallon wasn't longer waiting for me by my locker at the end of the day. It felt odd in a way. Of course it did. Every now and then he passed by my house, or surprised me by coming over for dinner, which I of course appreciated a lot.

But I felt so empty. So alone. So... lost. It felt like a part of myself had been ripped away and I had still only known him for a few weeks.

I never told Dallon this, but he could sense that something was wrong when he saw me. He could still read me like a book. That hadn't changed. I always replied with "I'm fine, it's nothing" when he asked me about it. He didn't believe me, but he eventually stopped asking.

Right now, I was watching him play basketball with the other guys because Sarah wanted to watch Brendon. She still had a huge crush on him.

"I wonder who Brendon is taking to prom," she suddenly said, her eyes still fixated on the boy.

Prom. Right. That was coming up in two weeks. I sighed a little and looked at Dallon, who seemed unaware of my presence.

"I would be surprised if he didn't ask you to go with him," Breezy said and I could almost hear the roll of Sarah's eyes.

"Why would he?" She muttered, and arguments soon started flying between the two girls about why and why not Brendon would take her to prom. I stopped listening after the first one.

I continued to watch Dallon. The smile on his lips reached his ears and he looked so non-broken. Healed. But of course, why wouldn't he? People finally acknowledged his existence and spoke to him. Even the teachers seemed more aware of him now. They no longer looked past him in the halls. They didn't ignore him anymore. No one did.

And I was happy for him.

But in between all of that, it felt like he had forgotten about me. Hell, he had forgotten about me. And I missed him so much, it physically hurt just thinking about it. Still, I didn't think he quite realized it himself.

"Earth to Gabrielle!" I suddenly heard Sarah shout and wave her hand in front of my face. I blinked a few times in confusion, before looking over at the two girls.

"Huh?" I said and they giggled.

"Are you bringing someone to prom?" Breezy asked and I shrugged, looking out towards the boys who threw the basketball between each other. There really was only one that I wanted to go with, but that option was erased.

"Probably not." I told them and they both gasped a little in confusion.

"Weren't you and Dallon supposed to go together?" They asked.

I didn't know. Maybe we were. But if that was the case, I had forgotten about it in between all the other thoughts that cramped the small space in my mind. And right now, only hearing his name brought tears to my eyes.

Without any other word, I stood from the bench I was seated on and ran off. I could hear them shout at me in confusion, but I couldn't hold the tears back anymore. And I hated crying in front of other people. So I ran to the only place were I knew that I would be alone.

I pulled open the heavy metal door and sat down in the staircase with my back leaned against the hard wall. Small sobs escaped my mouth and I closed my eyes, letting the tears flood down my cheeks.

I don't know how long time I sat there. But the longer I did, the more I thought, the more certain I got that I would never stop crying.

The metal door suddenly pushed open and I soon felt two strong arms wrap around me. I recognized the scent underneath all the new disgusting perfume he was drowned in. Probably a choice of Brendon's. I leaned into the touch and cried into the fabric of his shirt.

"Gabrielle." Dallon's soothing voice usually made me calm, but now it only made me cry more. I cried out of anger, sadness and happiness to be in his arms again. "What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong. Let me make it right."

I wanted to hit him. I was so mad at him. But I couldn't bring myself to do so. I could never bring myself to do anything like that. Instead I wrapped my arms around his waist and tugged him closer.

"I miss you." I sobbed, not daring to open up my eyes. "Why did you leave? What happened? Am I not good enough for you anymore?"

"I'm sorry." His voice were muffled, it was almost fading away.

"I need you."

Dallon didn't reply, and I finally opened up my eyes to look at him.

He wasn't there anymore. His touch wasn't against my skin, his scent was gone and the metal door was closed. The only thing that I could feel was the hard wall and the beating of my own heart.

He hadn't been here at all. My mind had simply tricked me, played a game with me.

Maybe this was how it ended. Maybe this was the way it was supposed to go down. Maybe Dallon was just supposed to be a memory. A memory that I constantly went back to and wished that I could relive.