corrupted lungs | d.w #Wattys2016

t w e n t y f o u r

Saturday.

Dallon was sitting leaned back against the wall in my bed, his eyes scanning over the pages in the history book. I had made us hot chocolate and was sitting by my desk in my swivel chair, having an obvious hard time concentrating on the studying we were supposed to be doing.

Things hadn't been the same between the two of us after the incident in school. Brendon and Ryan had been sent to the principal along with Dallon, but I was vague on the details about it. I didn't feel like asking either.

The man's eyes finally parted from the book's pages and closed it up, letting it rest on the blankets next to him.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, his voice soft and tender. I felt his eyes fixate on me and I looked up to meet his gaze.

I didn't reply because he already knew. And what could I possibly say? I looked back down into the book as I released a heavy sigh.

Dallon didn't say anything, but he didn't go back to reading the book either. He continued to look at me, even though I was avoiding his gaze. He knew I didn't want to talk about it.

We'd been avoiding the subject of what had happened every day since. Dallon had tried to approach it, but every time I had quickly made sure to talk about something else. He was getting rather annoyed with it.

"What happened wasn't your fault." He said and stood from the bed.

"I know." I said and looked up at him. "I know it wasn't. But I still blame myself for it."

Dallon sighed and walked over to me. "Please don't." He said as he crouched down in front of me.

I sighed and bent down my neck to look at him. "The mind doesn't work like that. I can't just stop because you tell me to."

"I know that all too well." Dallon said and looked at the floor.

I sighed again and reached down to comb my hand through his hair. It was warm and dry, not at all like when I found him in that goddamn bathroom stall a few days ago. I saw the image of him in front of me, water dripping from his hair and from his face, how his body was shaking...

Dallon looked up at me. "Stop." He whispered and placed his hand on my wrist. "Stop hurting yourself." He told me and I gazed into his eyes.

Every time I touched him, the memories of what Brendon and Ryan did to him came back to me. I saw it clearly like I'd been thrown back into the moment. Dallon knew that. But I had to touch him. I had to make sure he was truly here, real, flesh and bones and not a trick by my mind.

I pulled back and looked away. "I need to touch you. To make sure you're really here."

"I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere." He promised me. I believed him.

It felt surreal to have him back. Even if it was tension between us, he was here. And he didn't want to leave. Maybe it was because he was afraid. Afraid of getting betrayed again.

He had taken a huge leap of faith in trusting me. He let me see him. He showed me his true colors, the way his mind worked. It was terrifying for him, but he found that he could trust me- and probably thought everyone would be just the same. Just as accepting. Just as honest as I'd been. I was disappointed that wasn't the case.

"Do they know you?" I asked him.

"The way you know me?" He smiled a little. "No."

That made my lips tug up into a small smile which seemed to make Dallon a bit happier.

"I never felt the safety to do that with them. And I'm not sure I'll ever feel the safety to do that with anyone again."

"That makes me terribly happy but also extremely sad." I said and he grabbed both of my hands.

"As long as I have you... I'll be alright." He told me, his eyes facing the floor.

I felt a sting in my eye and a warm tear started making its way down my cheek. Before Dallon could notice, I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He buried his face in my neck and sighed, his breath tickling my skin.

"I think you might be the best thing that's ever happened to me."

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A/N: i'll let you make up your own guess to who said the last sentence ;)

but yeah this chapter was a bit messy and a bit eh but hopefully you enjoyed it

anyways thank you all so much for reading, commenting and voting. it means a lot to me. xx