Near To You *Completed*

Chapter 11

Two weeks have gone by at a steady pace.  Not too fast and not too slow.  Tolerable. 

Niall and I haven’t been speaking much at all.  I know he is bothered by me working with Josh, but it’s not like I made the partners for this project.  He seems to be getting along well with James.  Which if I’m being honest, is kind of bothering me.  They seem like they are getting close.  Fast.  Is James gay?  I think he dated that cheerleader Jennifer last year, but I guess that doesn’t matter.  He could be bi.

We are in English class now.  It’s Friday and there is only about 15 minutes remaining for this class to be over.  I'm glad too.  We aren’t even working on our projects today but instead going over some type of writing style.  I am terribly bored and annoyed at the same time.

Every time I look over to Niall, he and James are smiling at each other and whispering like they are in their own little world.  I know Niall is a friendly guy and he is a people magnet, but it doesn’t seem to stop this jealousy forming in me.  I want to be in James’ position.  I just have to keep telling myself that they are just partners and this is just for the project, but I can feel Niall slipping away.  I only have myself to blame.

These past two weeks I have been going over to Josh’s after school almost every day and have plans to go over there tonight as well.  It still feels strange to be back at Josh’s but I am honestly enjoying the time we are spending together.  It’s kind of like old times except for the snogging and ummm…other stuff.  There have been a few times where we were close to kissing but I pulled away.  I don’t think I am ready for that yet or if I even want to go there again.  He hurt me so badly, I’m not sure I will ever be able to go back to our relationship.  It’s not for a lack of him trying though.  Josh has said over and over that he wants me back and that he misses me and that he should have never let me go.  I was very strong at the beginning of the beginning of this project but now, I just don’t know.  It’s Josh.  The boy I love or loved.  I’m not sure.

I am now sat in Josh’s car heading back to his house to work on our paper.  When we arrive we immediately go up to his room and get to work researching more information on Paris and the sites and monuments and what not.  I look up from my book to see Josh staring at me.

“Ummm Josh?  Do you mind?  You staring at me is kinda creepy!” I say with a slight chuckle.

“I can’t help it.  You’re beautiful, Harry.” He says and starts to make his way over to the window bench where I am sitting. 

He sits next to me and takes the book from my hand and tosses it onto the floor.  I just look at him not really knowing what to do.  I am frozen.  He gently grazes his fingers across my cheek.

“No Josh.  We are meant to be studying.  I don’t want to go there with you.”

“Harry, please.  Just one kiss.  I miss your lips on mine.  You know that they were a perfect fit.  We belong together Harry.  I still love you.” He says as he is leaning in and gently pulling my face to his.

“Josh” I whisper as our lips are getting closer and closer.

“please….I can’t….”

He cuts me off with his lips placed on mine.  I don’t move.  I am still.  My lips are stationary.  He tries to get me to move my lips and I am sticking to my ground and not moving my lips.  I can’t give in, I keep telling myself.   But Josh knows my sensitive areas and knows how to get me going and with a slight tug of the hair at the base of my head I give in and start moving my lips in sync with his.

The kiss feels familiar but at the same time foreign.  I remember dreaming of the day that I would get to kiss him again and here we are now, kissing, but it’s not like I imagined it would be.  Don’t get me wrong, I still feel something but I can’t help but think it might be closure.  Was this kiss telling me that I have finally moved on?  Was I over Josh?