Near To You *Completed*

Chapter 13

Niall’s POV

It’s been a while since I have really communicated with Harry.  I do miss him.  A Lot.  More than I thought I would.  But I couldn’t wait for him forever.  It’s not fair for me to put my heart out there and not have the feelings returned because he can’t seem to get over his last boyfriend.

I’ve kept myself busy.  James and I formed a quick friendship and became close.  A week or so after the English paper was completed he admitted that he had feelings for me and asked me out on a date.  I agreed.  I mean after all, I deserve happiness and I do have a fun time with James.  He’s a good guy.

He took me to dinner and a movie.  We had fun.  We have some things in common.  I really enjoyed my evening but I knew that I didn’t feel the same for James as I did for Harry.  It was easy with Harry.  I didn’t have to try to build up feelings for him, like I am doing with James.  My feelings for Harry were there from the moment I looked into those beautiful green eyes and the first time he smiled at me I knew that was it.  I knew Harry was the one for me. 

I am really trying with James.  We have been on a few dates now and I do really like the guy and I am trying to convince myself that I have more feelings for him than I do.  Feelings more than friendship but it’s a constant battle between my head and my heart.  My heart wants Harry.  My head tells me that Harry can’t give me what I need right now so I should try to make it work with James.

I have also recently heard that Josh finally won Harry back.  I’m not sure if they are boyfriends again but I do know that they have been dating.  That killed me when I heard that information.  Why did he stop fighting for me?  Maybe he saw the way I was always with James.  I know that when the English project began he started to slip away.  And I guess I gave up too.  I can’t put all the blame on him.

On the plus side, I have become great friends with Harry’s best mates, Liam, Louis and Zayn.  They are all really great guys.  They still tell me to this day that Harry will realize the idiotic choice he made and will try to win me back.  I should trust what they say since they have known him his whole life basically, but a part of me really feels that I have lost him forever.

The boys told me yesterday that they were going up to Harry’s family cabin for a week.  They said that while there they will try to knock some sense into him.  They don’t particularly like Josh and I guess I can’t blame them.  He did after all really hurt their best friend.  I really hope they enjoy their time there.  I hope Harry has a great time as well and yeah, I still have hope that he will come back to me.  But will I be ready to give him a chance?

I have been going to open mic nights every Saturday.  I haven’t missed one in a long time.  I am writing more and more new material.  All the feelings and emotions really lend themselves to making some great songs.  I found that I can write more freely and with a clear head at my secret bridge.  It’s so peaceful there and I am finding myself going there a lot more frequently.

Tonight I have another date with James.  We are going out to eat and maybe a movie, not one hundred percent sure yet.  Although my thoughts are usually filled with Harry, I think I might try to make an honest effort with James tonight.  We still haven’t had a first kiss yet.  I can’t bring myself to.  He has attempted on several occasions.  A part of me wants to kiss him to form that bond with him and hopefully a kiss will ignite some more feelings for him.  On the other hand I am afraid that if I kiss him, I will be reminded how amazing kissing Harry was and that James’ kisses will never compare.