The Twins and Me (R Rated)

Old Friend

Chapter 17

Kat and I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. Both of us lost in our own thoughts until she rolls onto her side to look at me. “Why do you think he is back April?” “I honestly don’t know” I say rolling onto my side to look at her. “What am I meant to do? I’m not ready to face him it hurts too much.” she says quietly.

I couldn’t give her any answers. I can’t tell her what to do. I was still processing that Jake was back as well and it was safe to say that Kate had to be his mate or he wouldn’t have kissed her. The biggest thought playing on my mind was if he was back then was Ryan and Ryder. If they were would they come to see me? Should I go and see them? Do they want to see me?

It didn’t matter that I had tried to say my goodbyes to them. If I knew that they were back I knew I couldn’t stay away until I saw them with my own eyes.

“Maybe you could write Jake a letter. Tell him how you feel. Tell him how you felt when he went away and what it has been like while he was gone” I finally say. “Even if you don’t give it to him it will be a way to get it all off your chest and out of your mind” I continue quietly.

She exhales loudly “I don’t know April, I will give it a go and see how I feel afterwards ok”. “You know I’m here for you right Kat?” “I know, same here babe. I’m going to head home K”. I nod at her and watch her leave.

Of course when I was saying my final goodbye one of the Taylor’s would show up. Now what do I do? Go see Jake, see if I can get some form of answers from him, find out where they are? Question after question rolls through my head to the point where I feel bone dead tired just from thinking. Three years worth of questions cause my mind to shut down and sleep takes over me.

I’m walking through the forest heading to my favourite place. The colours are so vibrant here that I know this is a dream. A red t-shirt is carelessly thrown on the dirt ground. Carefully picking it up, I lift it to my nose and inhale deeply. It was them! Their unique smell fills my senses. I open my eyes desperately trying to find them. A flash of skin through a bush catches my eyes and I'm running after it. I run with everything I have but I can never get close enough to see if it is them.
I try to yell their names, to tell them to stop but no sound comes out.

I finally drop to my knees trying to catch my breath.

A beautiful white and black tiger appears in front of me its eyes are Gold. I knew Jake was standing before me. A large muscular tiger with its teeth bared and it’s eyes angry.

Some how I know he blamed me for him shifting before he should. I know it was my fault for not saying yes to the twins.

The look in his eyes tells me that he still sees me as prey. The same girl that was bleeding out in the hallway of school, that caused him and others to shift way to early. I was the girl that hurt his family more than I could ever imagine possible.

He roars before his strike on me. The same roar I heard from the twins before my incident. His teeth close around my throat.

Bolting upright in bed, my body is covered in sweat. My breathing is erratic and heart is in over drive. Never had I had a dream like that before. Seeing that look in Jakes eyes was horrible and I don’t want to face him now. If he gave me that look while I was awake I would hate myself for it and never recover from what I did to him and to his gorgeous brothers, to his parents and to the others that were forced to shift.

After a shower I stripped my sheets and opened my window to get rid of… I don’t know guilt would be my number one thing that I felt it was so thick that it was in the air and in me. My stomach was to queasy to even attempt breakfast. That dream has every single one of my nerves on edge and I realise that saying goodbye to a memory to nothing but air is easy, but if it came to the real thing than I wouldn’t be able to cope. I knew that if Jake didn’t forgive me than no one else would especially the twins.