All I Ever Wanted

Heart-to-Heart

Chapter six

I thanked Chase for the ride then quietly made my way to the front door, praying that my father was asleep. I didn’t know why but I had a feeling that tonight was going to end differently. Good or bad, I didn’t know. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door as quietly as I could.

“Crap,” I muttered under my breath when the door squeaked slightly. I slipped in through the small gap I had made and closed the door slowly. I stopped for a while, listening for any noises and couldn’t hear anything but the humming of the fridge. There was another sound, almost like someone breathing but I let it go, it was probably my father asleep on the couch. I felt a little guilty that he had to wait on me every night then fall asleep, but then again I reminded myself that he had kept me waiting all these years. Letting out the breath I didn’t know I had been holding I began to feel the wall for the light switch. As my hand came in contact with it I turned it on.

“AGHHHH!” I screamed when I turned around. Turns out my father wasn’t sleeping. He was wide awake and waiting for me in the living room with a stern look on his face. Something told me I wasn’t getting out of this one.

“Where were you young lady?” he asked sternly. Doing as I always did, I ignored him and started walking out of the room but he wouldn’t see of it. “Where were you?” he asked again. I stopped in my tracks, giving him my back but didn’t answer.

“I’m serious Nadine; tell me what took you so long?”

“And you care because?” I asked in a bored tone. I still didn’t turn to face him.

“Because I’m your father!”

Tears started welling up in my eyes. I didn’t know why but they did. “You’ve been doing a great job that… dad,” I said bitterly, spitting out the last word. So now he’s my father?! I thought enraged. After all these years of neglect, he now remembers he’s my father?! I felt like my chest was going to burst. I wanted to yell at him. Scream. Make him sorry for what he did. I couldn’t hold it in, so when he uttered my name I spun around angrily and stared him in the eye.

“You finally remembered that you had a daughter?” I yelled. “You remembered that you have the responsibility of being a father? Did those facts finally make it through your thick head? Huh? Did they dad?” I was on the verge of crying. But I didn’t. I held in the tears, so that I wouldn’t cry in front of this man. He tried to take a step toward me but I stepped back.

“Do you have any idea how hard things have been for me since you left? Did you know that I never went to my senior prom, or that I had to have two jobs in order to live? How hard I had to work to afford mom’s treatments while you sat here as if your family didn’t need you? That I never got to see my friends except in school? Do you remember that day when I called you to come and see me in the school play? When I got to be Cinderella? Two months after you left?” a guilty expression crossed his features but I didn’t wait for him to answer.

“You promised me you would come,” I whispered as my voice cracked slightly, “I waited for you that day. Every time I was up on stage I would look for you. But I never found you. Mom was there, she was in the front row too. I thought that maybe you were stuck in traffic, or that something happened but apparently nothing did. I even waited after everyone had left. Somehow I fell asleep waiting and woke to one of the cleaning crew shaking me. I then knew you were never coming back.”

He stared at me shocked, struggling with what he was about to say, “Sweetheart, I-I’m sorr-”

“Don’t call me that!” I screamed. “Look, I don’t want an apology from you I just want to know why. I want to know why you left,” I said in a small voice while a tear escaped my eye. I wiped it quickly. I was not going to cry!