The Coolest Guy (ON GOING)

Chapter Thirty Nine :)

Before anything else, my sorry is overdue pero sorry for ditching you guys. I know I promised na tatapusin ko 'to before I go MIA for months pero sadly, hindi ko nagawa. But now I'm back. And guess why. (Clue: Dahilan kung bakit ako MIA) Anw, sabi ko pa 2017 na lang ako babalik. Kaso, may utang nga kasi ako sa inyo kaya kailangan ko 'tong gawin. Haha. Love you guys. I miss writing. (Habang wala pang work work work)

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I asked Adam to bring me back home. As much as I wanted to follow Noah and Nikka on Ilocos, I opted not to. Gusto kong maging masaya pero lolokohin ko lang ang sarili ko kung pupunta ako dun at pipilitin ang sarili kong maging masaya. Sabi nila, happiness is a choice. And I chose to not to be happy today. Maybe, I just need to breathe in everything. Balikan kung paano yung naging takbo namin ni Ice. Maybe we're too fast, maybe we pretended that we can be more than friends when in fact, we were meant to be just friends.

Adam just kept driving. I tried to sleep but everytime I close my eyes, nakikita ko si Ice. I tried listening to music but I realized, masyado kong dinamdam ang bawat lyrics ng kanta at hindi ko gusto na maging malungkot pa lalo. So I settled on watching the road, the signage's, the houses, everything. Trying to find the calm inside of me. It was good for a few hours but maybe, the memories are just too fresh to vanish like that.

Adam pulled the car to a stop. Napansin kong isang kainan ulit iyon. Oo nga pala, nakalimutan ko na ang lunch. Masyado atang madami ang iniisip ko. Adam didnt talk. He understands. Thats what I like about him, he wont bug me and force me to tell something or whatver it is that is running through my mind right now. He respects that I need this silence. Maybe with this, I can finally find the calm after my storm.

I followed Adam. He was talking to someone then he looked at his back checking if I was here. I offered him a smile to atleast assure him that I'm not on suicidal mode right now. He smiled back and thats all I needed. Something to remind me that everything will be alright. I know it will.

The lunch was silent but it was again, something I needed. I figured I should try to listen more on what the earth is telling me than talking nonsense all the while. Bakit nga ba naman kasi hindi ako naging tahimik gaya ni Kendy.

After namin kumain, namili si Adam ng mga sweets at kung ano ano pang pasalubong na available din dun sa resto na kinainan namin. Since wala na rin naman akong magawa, nag decide ako na dumampot na rin ng iba. I was about to pay it but Adam insisted na sya na raw. Di na ako nakipagtalo dahil wala naman akong energy na gawin yun.

Luckily, nakatulog na ako ng muli kaming bumalik sa kalsada. Baka dahil nabusog ako kaya madali akong inantok. Nagising ako ay gabi na. Nakatigil na ang sasakyan. Bigla akong naging alerto. Akala ko kasi nasa amin na ako. Baka hindi lang ako ginising ni Adam dahil iniisip nya na kailangan ko ng tulog. Pero wala ako sa tapat ng bahay namin. Hindi ko alam kung nasaan kami.

"Good thing you're awake." Bumaling ako kay Adam na kabababa lang ng phone.

"Where are we?" I asked. Adam smiled, "My favorite place." He answered then went out. Favorite place? Paano nya naging favorite place ang isang lugar na kahit saan ka pumaling ay wala kang makikita kundi malawak na damuhan?

Sinundan ko ng tingin si Adam. Pumunta sya sa likod ng Hillux nya. Anong ginagawa nya dun?

"Lumabas ka na dyan Cream." Natatawa nyang sabi. Kahit wala akong naiintindihan kung bakit ako nandito, lumabas na ako. It was windy. Pero hindi naman ganun kalakas.

"What are we doing here again?" I asked. He smiled and pointed his finger at something. Nakaturo iyon sa taas kaya sinundan ko. Agad na nahanap ng kamay ko ang daan patungo sa labi ko. Wow.

"Ganda no?" sabi ni Adam. Saglit akong tumingin sa kanya and he was there, lost on the beuty of the sky. Wow. The night sky in Manila was never this beautiful.

"Pag nalulungkot ako, dito 'ko napunta." He started. Hindi pa rin nya inaalis ang tingin sa langit. The night sky was perfect. Nilapitan ko sya at tinabihan. Muli akong tumingin sa langit. Ang ganda talaga.

"Nung bata pa 'ko, I secretly sneaked in one of Dad's car. Wala lang. Gusto ko lang umalis sa bahay. Nalulungkot kasi ako. Tumigil dito yung sasakyan kasi naihi yung driver. So I sneaked out and went outside. Hapon na yun. And you can clearly see the sunset. It was beautiful." Naaamaze talaga ako ganda ng night sky dito. Kahit ako na ngayon lang nakapunta, parang naging instant favorite place ko na din 'to.

"Nung gumabi na, nagumpisa na kong matakot. Wala masyadong nadaan na sasakyan, tapos madilim pa. Kinausap ko si Mommy, sabi ko natatakot ako. Ano bang dapat kong gawin? Pakiramdam ko, may bumulong sakin na tumingin daw ako sa langit. And this is what I saw." Muli ulit akong napatingin sa taas. All along akala ko, hindi pede ang perfect pero grabe, ngayon lang talaga ako nakakita ng ganito kaganda ang langit. It was not black, dark blue sya tapos sobrang kinang nung nga stars para sayang sumasayaw kahit walang music, and I have to admit, nakakawala ng stress sobra.

"Nawala agad yung takot ko. Napaltan ng amazement. Hindi ko napansin umiiyak na pala ko. Bigla ko kasing namiss si Monmy. Ewan ko. Siguro ganun talaga yun, you will always have that connection with your real Mom. I wish she was here. Nakatulog ako sa kaiiyak, nagising ako nasa loob na 'ko ng isang kwarto. Natakot ako pero nung may pumasok na babae, nginitian nya ako. Agad nya kong tinanong kung bakit ako nandun sa lugar kung saan nila ako natagpuan at kung nawawala daw ba ako. Tinanong din nila ako kung anong pangalan ko. They learned na halos magpakalat na ng tao si Tita Alex sa buong Pilipinas mahanap lang ako. Nung umuwi ako Tita Alex's eyes was sore. She was crying all night. Pinagalitan ako ni Dad pero pinigilan sya ni Tita Alex. And she just hugged me like what my real Mom does. "Just don't scare me like that okay?" Nangiginig na boses nyang sabi, then she cried again. She must have been really scared for me. Naguilty naman ako bigla. Doon ko lang naintindihan yung sinabi ni Mommy bago nya 'ko iwan. "You won't go wrong on loving her." Simula nun, nagpromise ako sa sarili ko na di na 'ko aalis ng walang paalam. I don't wanna see Tita Alex cry again. Of course, I'm gonna say my Mom is the best Mon in the world because I'm her kid but, Tita Alex? She's the bestest if there's even such a word." Natawa sya pagkasabi nun. I never heard Adam talk this long. His words are always straightforward or a riddle but more or less, kaunti lang talaga sya magsalita like Ice.

"Tita Alex treated me like her own. She will always claim na anak nya 'ko. That's why ako din ang favorite nya and she's very vocal about that. Buti nga never nag reklamo si Ice eh." Napakamot sya sa batok nya na parang nahihiya. He has this smile eh. Ewan ko ba.

"You know what? One time, umuwi ako na frustrated, wala akong nakuhang medal basically because Ice got it all. Napansin yun ni Mommy pag-uwi ko. Tinanong nya ako kung anong problema, syempre di ko sasabihin. Anak din nya si Ice. But you know what Ice did? Binigay nya sakin yung kalahati ng medals nya. Sabi nya, share daw kami." Inalis nya yung tingin nya sa langit at he looked at me.

"Ice is an asshole. Sure ako dyan." Medyo tunawa pa sya. "But even if he is, alam ko na may reasons sya. I know Ice and I are not really on good terms right now at alam kong 'di ka maniniwala kung ipagtatanggol ko sya sa'yo pero gagawin ko pa din." Napakunot ang noo ko n'on.

"Please hear Ice okay? Pinapakalma ka lang nya. Alam kong mahal ka nya. I can see that. So please, wag mo sya ipagtatabuyan if he wanted to give you an explanation. Believe me, you just have to ask and he'll answer." He offered me a faint smile to assure me that I will be okay soon.

Inaamin ko na naging impulsive ang move ko. I should have stayed there, listen to his explanations even if I'm bound to get hurt. Kung ginawa ko 'yun, wala sanang mga tanong ngayon sa utak ko.

"Okay." I answered.