The Art of Living

[10] Complicated Caring

They had to make their way through the entire length of the pub because apparently the group had gotten a couple of tables right in front of the small stage area. While they were pushing through the people Brian had managed to communicate to her that the concert had been pushed back about half an hour which explained why the music was still coming from the speakers all over the place and not the stage.

As soon as the group was in sight Ellie managed to sneak away from Brian and go over to Lynn.

"Hey you." She said, smiling at her. She was still slightly shaken up by what happened between Brian and her, her hands were trembling and the more she thought about it, the more it freaked her out. But she tried not to let that show through.

Lynn smiled widely and hugged her carefully. "Hey, where have you been?"

"Oh.. I was here at eight but I ran into Brian an the bar. Actually, he ran into me in a way." Ellie took a deep breath and pushed some of her hair behind her ear.

"Oh," Lynn exclaimed and gently grabbed her hand, looking at her wrist. "This is gorgeous, why have I never seen this bracelet before?"

Ellie pulled her hand out of Lynn's grip and shook her head. "I don't... uh, Brian just gave that to me. He paid for my beer and then he just gave me this bracelet and I don't know what to do. What should I do, Lynn? I tried to give it back to him but he wouldn't take it, and now I'm stuck with it and he thinks he's getting somewhere. I don't want this, Lynn, help me.."

Lynn looked at her thoughtfully and then glanced at Brian, the long silence nearly freaking Ellie out. "Oh.. Wow.. Well. I didn't know he would do this. That's so sweet... Mike has never given me something fancy as this and we've been living together for half a year."

"Not helping, Lynn, not helping at all," Ellie told her and shook her head. "You're supposed to tell me how to deal with this, how do I give this back without making him and his friends upset with me again? I already told him nothing else is going to happen, but somehow he still doesn't get it. Tell me what to do."

Lynn couldn't hide her amusement about her friend's misery. "Just give him a chance, he's sweet and he obviously cares about you."

"He's too much. Who gives someone a present like this after they met twice?" Ellie looked at her bracelet helplessly.

Lynn just shrugged. "Well, you did sleep with him. If I remember your stories correctly it's always quite intense with you. Did you kiss him?"

"Well yeah, of course," Ellie shrugged. "But that's not a big deal. You sleep with someone, you kiss him."

"Yeah, but you kissed him, you saw him naked, you touched him all over, you probably slept naked cuddled up to him, he's someone who that means a lot to. Roger told me that normally it takes a lot for him to let someone come that close to him, y'know?"

Ellie sighed and shrugged. "But I told him I don't want anything. Nothing. Nothing between us. Never. So I don't want this to mean anything to him, and I am getting the feeling that he is somehow getting the idea that there might be something where there's nothing."

"Oh El why are you so complicated?" Lynn asked with a heavy sigh.

"I am not complicated. Relationships are complicated. That's why I don't want one, is that so hard to understand?"

"So the problem is you not wanting a relationship and not Brian?"

Ellie furrowed her eyebrows. "Why does that even matter? That doesn't make a difference. I don't want a relationship and I don't want Brian. I don't want any guy."

"For other things than sex.."

Ellie shrugged and nodded. "Well yeah. Don't judge me, you used to do exactly the same."