The Art of Living

[58] More Revelations

"I don't know," Ellie admitted. "Maybe that's the problem.. I don't know, this entire thing confuses me," she told him, sighing heavily.

Brian let go of her hand and pulled her close to him. "Hey, relax.. You don't have to meet my parents if you don't want to, okay? Just talk to me if I want too much, if you're uncomfortable, or if something is bothering you. Don't freak out about it in silence, tell me.. I'm not going to be upset if you're honest with me, the opposite will happen actually. Okay?"

Nodding a little, Ellie took a deep breath. "Yeah.. You say that, and I know it's true, but ... that doesn't change the fact that I've just.." She pressed her lips together and shrugged.

Brian didn't say anything, he just simply pressed his lips to her temple softly.

It was such a simple gesture, but it helped Ellie relax so much more. Because it was so simple, and very genuine. She reached for his hand again and nodded a little, smiling a little bit. "I don't usually talk to many people about my feelings and stuff like that. Sometimes to Mary and Lynn, but very often not at all, so... it sounds really stupid, but I don't really know how to do that kind of thing, y'know?"

"There's not really a right or wrong way of talking about feelings.. Well, honesty is the only real thing you need. Trust doesn't really hurt either, but just tell me whatever you're comfortable with telling me. And keep in mind that you don't have to tell me something. If you're not comfortable with telling me personal stuff just yet then you don't have to. Eventually ... well, eventually you kind of do have to tell meu, but there's no pressure. Eventually isn't a specific point in time, so don't worry about that. Okay? Whatever you trust me with. I will listen to anything you want to tell me, even if you think it's silly or not worth telling me."

Ellie listened to what he told her with a shy, but growing smile, and a warm feeling spreading through her stomach. "And you're not going to... to make fun of me or gossip about me.." That wasn't really a question, but at the same time it also wasn't really a statement either. There was a very prominent hint of insecurity in Ellie's voice. Something that neither Brian nor Ellie were used to.

"I'm not going to make fun of you or gossip about you or anything. If you tell me something that's personal, then that stays personal. Just between us. Not even Roger or Freddie will hear about that, okay? All I want is that you do the same.. whatever I tell you stays between us.. okay?"

Ellie nodded. "Of course, of course. I mean.. it would be good if you tell me if you definitely want something to be private. I mean.. I know of course certain things have to stay private, like.. you know, but sometimes I know that I tell Mary and Lynn stuff which would probably also be considered private. But like.. that was with all those guys, you know, and I'm sort of guessing that my .. my filter will be better with you.. Does that make sense?"

"It does make sense, yes. And I will tell you, don't worry. You do the same, okay? See, this is exactly what I mean, this is definitely a step into the right direction." Brian smiled and kissed her cheek softly.

Ellie smiled and nodded a little. "Yeah.. Somehow you always manage to make me feel comfortable. It's really strange, but really nice. I like it. You know.. I was really nervous about coming here again actually.."

"That's what that was.. I thought you were acting a little strange before. Why were you nervous?"

Shaking her head a little, Ellie snuggled close to him. "It's really silly.."

"Remember what I told you about silly things?" He teased her a little, poking her side gently.

Ellie chuckled and nodded. "Yeah I do.. Alright, but.." She rubbed her forehead and sighed. "Okay. It's just that I feel really guilty about what happened here the last time..." Brian didn't say anything, which Ellie took as a sign to continue. "Because I was really awful to you, and really unfair, and .. I'm sorry. This is exactly what I told you, you know, I keep screwing up and it's not good."