The Art of Living

[26] It Works in Strange Ways

The week after the gig in Truro Ellie didn't have any classes, she only had to work on her project. Since she still had the unfinished low light film in both of her camera bodies, she went out on Monday evening to take some pictures around sunset. She really wanted to start developing these films. The sunset pictures were some that she considered using in her project, which was why she also actually shouldn't wait much longer with developing the film. 

But frankly the pictures she was looking forward to the most were the ones she took of the guys. Not that she could really look at the pictures while she was processing the film, but afterwards when she was making prints she could look at them. That, however, had to wait until Tuesday evening, because the processed negatives had to dry properly in order to avoid ruining them. 

And even though Ellie knew that, she couldn't stop herself from occasionally checking on her negatives to see how far they were, because that Tuesday was an incredibly boring day. It was raining and there was nothing really to do except for her project. And anyone who ever had to do something knew that procrastinating was always the most tempting option. 

That was why around noon, after she had worked on her project for about half an hour, she abandoned it again and decided to call Lynn and see what she was up to. However, her hopes of being distracted from a boring day were disappointed when Lynn picked up and told her that she was busy with a few friends and then Mike in the evening. And when Ellie then tried to call Mary no one picked up. 

With a sigh, Ellie returned to her living room, but instead of continuing with her project, she just lay on her couch and tried to think of someone who'd want to hang out with her on such short notice, someone who wouldn't be busy or away. She couldn't think of anyone. Well, not anyone that she would actually call. 

Of course Brian came to her mind, how else could it be, he seemed to do that a lot recently. But first of all she didn't have his number, and secondly even if she did have his number, she wouldn't have called him. Because that would have been strange, really strange. She had no reason to call him. She was alone, and she wanted company, but why should Brian agree to hang out with her. No matter how much she wanted it. 

With her mind filled with thoughts like that somehow Tuesday went by. It wasn't very pleasurable, but it started to get dark eventually which reminded Ellie to get up and make some sort of simple dinner, whatever she could motivate herself to make. It wasn't anything fancy, just a bit of pasta with a very simple sauce that she still had in her fridge. It was just as fancy as she felt in that moment. 

She couldn't really be motivated to tidy her dining table which was full of university stuff, so she just sat on the couch again. Actually she also didn't feel like sitting properly, she just wanted to be lazy. She knew that if her mother saw her like that she would immediately start lecturing her about manners and proper behaviour. Ellie smiled a little at that thought, even though she didn't really feel like smiling. 

While she was eating, Ellie started to get a little fidgety, frequently moving on her spot. It was too silent in her flat, and her thoughts were too prominent. And that wasn't good at all because she was stuck thinking about the past weekend in Truro. And not about the times she spent with Sue, or the entire group, but about moments like the soundcheck, or the late night conversation with Brian, just times when it had been Brian and her. Because he seemed to always be on her mind now. 

Ellie was a little freaked out by that, which was exactly why she got up and turned on the TV. She didn't care what was on, she just needed something she could focus on except for Brian. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy thinking about him, she really enjoyed thinking about him, but exactly that freaked her out. It was frustrating, really. He wasn't even there but it was like he was still controlling her thoughts, everything she was doing. She only turned on the TV because he was on her mind. Not because she wanted to, necessarily.