Waiting To Smile

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Andy's P.O.V

A young girl walked passed me and Ash and I recognised it was Jamie. 'Hey Jamie!' I chirped and with no reply I began to grow worried. I walked up to her and blocked her path. That's when I noticed her dress. It had been ripped and was covered in dirt and a small amount of blood, her face was the scariest thing. She wore a blank face and her cheek and forehead were smudged with blood and mud. Her eyes were empty; there was no emotion behind them at all. Her lips were slightly parted and moist but she stared straight forward, which happed to be my chest.

Suddenly she just collapsed on the floor, breaking down, and covered her exposed skin. I put my jacket around her body and tried to persuade her to get up, I couldn’t even lift her by her arm or anything, or she would just collapse back down. I squatted behind her and gather her up in my arms; surprisingly she put her arms around my neck, and buried her face in my chest grabbing my shirt for safety.

Ashley had gone off to get the guys and we were now in the house. I was taking Jamie up the stairs to put her to bed. I was in my room getting a shirt for her to wear to bed, because she doesn’t have a long one, with her still in my arms and walked across the corridor to her room. Placing her in the bed I got her dress off over her head, because Sammi wasn’t here I had to do it myself but she didn’t object, and I pulled the shirt over her. Her eyes were closed so I began to walk away but her hand grabbed my wrist and stopped me. I looked down at her and eyes were staring up at me. ‘Do you want me to stay?' I asked. She hadn’t spoken since the beginning and we still had no idea what had happed but she nodded and so I took of my shirt and jeans and went in beside her.

She turned around and cuddled into me with her hand on the top of my chest and her other arm around her stomach. I put my arm under her in the crook of her neck and the other around her waist. She seemed to fall asleep almost instantly but I had trouble. My thoughts were plagued with ideas of what had happened to her but eventually I drifted off.

With about 4 hours sleep I heard shuffling and whimpering. I opened my eyes to Jamie tossing and turning, she screamed quietly and I started whispering her name to wake her from her nightmare. She was covered in cold sweat when she awoke. She flung into my arms and I cradled her while she panted and cried. When she stopped crying I asked her what happened. She spoke softly.

'I went out-tside for some fr-esh air a-and this man was-s there. He s-started ki-ising me and stuff and-d I didn't want to so he began to g-get ang-gry. i-i wanted to ma-ake you jealous an-dy...'

'What did he do to you?' I asked fearing the answer.

'He tri-ied to r-rape me.' she said beginning to cry again I held her, never wanted to let go. I can’t believe someone would do this to her. I wanted to kill this motherfucker myself! How could someone do this to the girl I love!

Did I just say love!? I actually admitted it. I loved Jamie Smith.

I ran her a bath in my ensuit because she didn’t have one and heard footsteps behind me. It was Jamie wearing my MyChemicalRomance shirt, off one shoulder because it was too big for her, I smiled at her and she smiled sorrowfully back. She glanced at the now full bath and I told her it was for her.

'I can’t Andy, I might do something stupid.' she confessed after shaking her head.

'I can stay with you, make sure you don’t.' I realised how creepy that sounded.' I mean uh...never mind' and began to walk swiftly out the door. What was I thinking!? Something landed on my bare chest, I only put my jeans on, and I looked forward at Jamie standing directly in front of me

'That would be lovely. Thank you' there was a hint of emotion in her voice this time. The first bit of emotion which wasn’t completely negative. I nodded. I turned around and sat on the floor, I didn’t want her to be embarrassed.

'You can turn around you ‘know' I turned slowly around realising she was in her black lacy underwear and smiled. After that we began having conversation about random things while I washed the blood and dirt of her face, shoulders and back. I gave her a black towel while she got out and we walked in to my room. She sat on the bed and I went into her room to get various things for her.

Looking for underwear was the creepiest thing I have ever done but non-the-less I picked the nicest (matching) pear and also picked out some black ripped jeans and a red burgundy tank top. I brought them back in my room and watched as Jamie stood by my wall. Upon the wall were photos (taken on a Polaroid camera) and the letter addressed to me from her. The suicide note...

I grabbed her attention before she realised all of the photo's had her in them. 'Here' I said simply. She turned around quickly and smiled at me before getting changed. I was turned around of course and afterwards we went downstairs, even though it was only 4AM.

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