(Complete) Never Give In (an Andy Biersack love story)

Cut Me Deep And Watch Me Choke

It was the first day back at school today since tour and Sammi had woken me up early, saying I needed to make an impression. She was looking through all my clothes which i didnt have many of and didn’t even fill a half of the two door wardrobe. She commented on my lack of clothing many times and made plans to go shopping. After sighing multiple times she stormed off into her own room, bringing back double of what I had in my closet.

After about 2 hours of looking, yes I was woken up at 5; we finally found something that looked suitable. A aqua-green, lace dress with t-shirt sleeves that ended in the middle of my thighs, a black waist belt with black knee high woollen socks and a ribbon tied into a bow tie around my neck. She also gave me a pair of black suede one inch heels. She did my hair in soft curls and my makeup. Grey to black eye shadow with winged eyeliner and mascara and rose coloured lips.

It was 7AM now and Sammi was complaining about my school bag. ‘I’m not letting you go to school with this on your back!’ I didn’t see what the problem was.

‘What’s wrong with it?’ I asked, looking at the burgundy messenger bag. It wasn’t particularly different but it was cheap and nice. I looked at Sammi. She was just looking back and forth between me and the bag. I honestly didn’t see anything wrong with it. Sammi stormed out the room in frustration. I sighed placing my bag down on the bed beside me.

She returned quickly with a black box tied with a red ribbon. I smiled at her as she handed me the box. ‘I bought this just before you went to the hospital, it was for Christmas but I must have forgotten about it. I’m so sorry for forgetting that’s a horrible thing to do.’ it had been two months since Christmas and I hadn’t even really thought about it.

‘It’s fine. This is the first present I have gotten this Christmas. Thank you!’ I hugged her before sitting back down and opening the box. After lifting the lid there were a couple of layers of black tissue paper wrapped around the mysterious gift. Among all of the gift wrapping there was a purple and black striped messenger bag with studs and straps littered on it. It was amazing. I put the box aside and hugged Sammi ‘thank you so much! It’s perfect.’

‘There’s more’ she simply said I looked through the box and found nothing there; I opened the bag however and there were many things wrapped in red and black tissue paper. Once everything was unwrapped I had everything I needed for school. A compact mirror, selection of everyday makeup and stationary.

I was ready to go back. After days of worrying about this day and what would happen I felt like nothing could bring me down. That nothing could stop me from expressing myself. Even though I was in a dress which was a colour other than black, which I would never have worn if it weren’t for Sammi, I felt confident and ready to take on anything.

After all the guys were up and ready we all set off. Considering there were seven of us, I and Andy travelled in his black Audi S3 while the rest went in Jinxx’s car. After parking in front of the school I began to grow nervous. All the worries that had been washed away were returning with the rest of the waves. My breathing quickened as my heart was beating like a caged animal. I flinched when Andy’s hand cupped my face and turned me to face him.

 ‘It’ll be okay’ he reassured, smiling to make me feel better. He didn’t have to try. Just seeing his face brightened up my day and knowing he was okay and happy made me feel the same way. I looked at him, unsure of how the day was going to turn out. I nodded finally. This would have been the perfect moment to embrace my love for him but he looked away just as I had built up the courage. I looked out the window to see the rest of the guys pull up beside us and I sighed before opening the door.

 Before my hand left the seat Andy grabbed it 'trust me' he said. I wish I could but I can’t trust anyone around here.

I walked up to the school gates and stood staring, wondering if I should run away right now. Sammi's voice broke through my thoughts 'are you okay Jamie?' she asked. I nodded in return before walking through the blue painted steel. With every step towards the school door I grew even more confident. It could have been the clothes but I felt, once more, like I could do anything and be fine. That all shattered, once I got closer to the lockers, when I saw Zoe look at me in disgust.