one shots

crush | pt. 8

"Honestly, Nas. . . I wasn't ready for any of this shit."

I rolled my eyes, keeping my scoff to myself.

"I can't handle long distance, Nas," he admitted.
"Obviously," I mumbled under my breath.
"To be honest. . . I didn't even expect for things to go the way they did. I didn't even realize how deep we'd get into this. . . I'm sorry," he shook his head while stepping closer toward me.

"I really don't understand what the problem is. I don't understand why you're doing this," I looked up at him despite it being the last thing I wanted to do.
"It's not you, Nasira. I swear to G--"

"Miss me with that bullshit, Genesis," I began reaching for the door to kick him out of my dorm.
"Listen to me," he begged, gripping onto my hand.

"It's not that I don't love you. It's just that this isn't enough for me," he elaborated.

"It just isn't."
"It took you two years to realize that?" I asked.
He looked away from me, clenching his jaw.
"It took you two years--"
"Yes, okay? I thought that it'd get easier the longer we were apart, but it didn't, Nas," he explained.
"Your solution to not being able to handle being apart is to break up. . . so we can really be apart. . . Yeah, no. That makes total sense, Genesis," I nodded while going into my dresser and pulling out the crewneck he gave me with his college on it.
"I don't need your sarcasm," he mumbled before I handed him the sweater.

"You apparently don't need me either," I shrugged.
"Nasira, be honest. . . You are completely fine pretending that this is working? Everything is as perfect as ever with us being six hours apart and unable to see each oth--"

"No, everything is not perfect, but. . . everything can't go our way either. Genesis, we can make it through this, okay? We just. . . all we need to do is. . . we'll figure this out. Alright?" I began to caress his face.

He glanced down and let his jaw clench once more. He slowly took my hand from his face and into his while sighing deeply.

My heart was shattering as the silence between us only grew longer.
"I'm sorry if I've wasted your time," he never brought his beautiful brown eyes to meet mine.
"I'm sorry that you feel that it was a waste," I could feel the tears rising as I smiled through the pain.

His eyes lifted to my face, glistening from oncoming tears.
"Everything happens for a reason, and maybe it just wasn't meant to be. . . at least not right now," I shrugged.
His eyes dropped to the floor once again.

"I love--" he cut himself short to clear his throat. "I love you."
"I love you too, G," I still got butterflies in response to his words despite the gravity of our current situation.

I pulled my hands from his grip and wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing him into a hug. He held me tight as I took in his cologne and let one tear run down my cheek.

I wanted to tell him how much I'd miss him, but I think it was understood by the both of us because of how long and tight we were holding each other.

"Don't be a stranger, alright? You can still call me," I allowed a bittersweet laugh to leave my lips.
"The real question is if you'll pick up or not," he did the same, only reminding me of the beginning stages of our relationship, two years ago.

He picked me up a little bit as I giggled. I almost began to wrap legs around him but I stopped myself from propelling a habit that would no longer be okay since we were no longer together.

"Get home safe," I told him.
"Okay," he mumbled.
"And call me when you get there," I added.
"Okay," he repeated before placing me back on my feet.