Ahja's Confessional: "Aye! Wassup Jordan. Its ya big brother.................." That was the most disgusting name ever. I can't believe i'm in the situation where I was called out of my birth name. I'm so pissed and hurt at the same time. People wouldn't understand the half of the bullshit that I had to endure as a teen. Shit was hard and rough for me. Let me give y'all a little back story on "Jordan". AKA.......me.
Flashback........
(15 yrs old)
Jordan's Confessional: I'm in my room currently upset. I've been battling this whole "trans" thing. I haven't told anyone, especially my family. I can't bare to see the hurt look in my mom's eyes or the disappointed look in my father's. Then on top of that.... my two older brothers are f**kin' bull heads. My oldest brother is Jalen, he's not comfortable with my sexuality. He's always like, "move with that gay shit nigga". I don't understand where his hate for came from. When I was born, me and him were the closest. We were closer than me and my other brother. He was actually the first person I came out as "gay" to. I guess that was a mistake because, he changed up on me quick. Then there's my other brother, Jabril. He didn't know that I was gay, until Jalen went back and said something. After Jalen opened his mouth, Jabril didn't talk to me for a week. During that time of us not talking, my parents found out about me being gay.
Jordan's POV: "Jabril, why are you not talking to me? I just don't understand what I did". I asked. "Man.....get the hell out my face. I can't believe you ain't tell me. Got me thinking my baby brother like p***y and he out here letting niggas f**k him". He said in so much anger. "I don't get why you are so mad. It's not like i'm f**kin' one of ya homeboys". I said, getting all in his face. "You better back the hell up before I fold that ass up and put you in a box". He said, squaring up. I didn't take that lightly. I'm gay but, mama didn't raise no bitch. As soon as looked around to make sure he was talking to me, I punched him dead in the throat. He started chocking. "What in the hell?" He asked, trying to catch his breath. "Don't threaten me". I said, walking away. When I started walking, he ran up and tackled me and started hitting me. "Get off of me" I screamed. He continued to hit me until my mama came in. "Y'all wide neck asses need to get up now, before I break my foot all up in y'all asses" She yelled. He got off me huffing and puffing. "He started it. I don't even understand why I have to live under the same roof ass the gay ass nigga" He yelled. "First of all, watch your mouth. Second, what do you mean, "gay shit"?" She asked my mom. "Ask ya baby boy. He the one that likes what you like". He said,walking off. When he said that, my mom turn and looked at me with the most disgusting face. "What is Jabril talking about?" She asked. "Mama, I-I-I....." I stumbled. "Cut the shit and tell me" She yelled, walking towards me. "Ma, I'm gay. Its been something that I have been struggling with for a long time. I was afraid of telling you and dad because of being disowned". I spoke with me head down about to cry. She walked over and hugged me. It wasn't one of the small hugs, it was a hug that felt like we had a death in the family. For the first time, I felt loved by my mom. "Aww baby, I've always had my suspicions but, I just wanted to hear it out of your own mouth" She said. "I don't approve of your lifestyle but, as long as you're happy, I'm happy" She said. "Thanks ma, I appreciate it". I Said. Now that my mom knows, its time I spill the beans to my dad. It might be a lot harder to get through to him.
Six Months later......
Jordan's Confessional: After telling my dad about me being gay, he has gone to the extreme to get the "gayness" out of me. He has taken me to church, group circles, he even took me to a therapist. Man that nigga crazy. Other than that, my brothers have calmed down about me but, they still are very distant. Jalen is about to go to college and Jabril is a senior. They are doing the typical "hood" nigga shit. The most word we have said was about ten. That's sad but, oh well. My favorite day of the year is approaching, my birthday. I'm excited but, I'm not really in the mood anymore after what Jalen said. "So...what are you getting me for my birthday?" I asked him. "Not a got damn thing". He said, looking at me funny. "Come on, stop playing". I said , laughing. "I must be Kevin Hart cuz you taking me for a joke". He said with a straight face. "Are you serious?" I asked, getting mad. "As a heart attack". He said blankly. I just walked out. I can never get any respect around here. Is it my femininity? Is it the way I cary myself? Am I freak? What is the problem? I asked myself all the questions. Over the course of these six months, i've been taking these pills to make me look more like a girl. They are hormone pills. I've been seeing some changes but not much. I have always wanted to be a girl. I know I dropped the gay bomb to my parents and brothers but, on my 16th birthday, I will be telling them that I want to be transgender. This might be a harder pill for them to swallow.
Jalen's Confessional: I haven't been too comfortable with my baby brother's choices. Like, I just don't get how he like boys. Don't get me wrong, I will always love my brother but, he just go to the extreme with his gay shit. One time, my homeboy told me that Jordan tried to suck him off behind the bleachers. What kind of sick hoe shit is that? I have put my hands on Jordan several times. Simply because he disrespects me in so many ways. This nigga tried to hang with me and boys. We can't have no sissy chillin with us. It's like, we're the water and he the oil. We don't mix. I think my brother wants to be my "sister". I found these pills in the medicine cabinet with his name on it. After looking it up, I found out it was mainly used for women trying to balance out their hormones. But Jordan's a guy tho. I know damn well this nigga ain't thinking what I think he thinking. He wanna be one of those chicks with a dick. I just cannot deal with his shenanigans...... I'm about to check his ass
Jalen's POV: Realizing that's it's nobody home, I was so happy. Not for long. I heard noises in the kitchen, the hell? I walked in the kitchen, and guess who it was? Jordan. What a perfect time to talk about these pills I found. "So.......Jordan, how sneaky do you think you are?" I asked, leaning on the wall. "What are you talking about Jalen" He asked, turning around. "You haven't been taking any new medication?" I asked, waiting for him to lie. "No". Was all he said. When he said that, I pulled out the pills and tossed it to him. "Well what are these?" I asked, smiling. The look on his face was priceless. "Why were you going through my stuff?" He asked. "Never mind that, I just want to know why you want to be something you're not". I said. "I don't have to answer to you, who do you think you are?" He asked, looking all big and bad. Had to check that ass real quick. I walked up on him and chocked him up against the wall. "Little nigga, if you every disrespect me again, that's ya ass and that's on our mama. Understood?" I asked. "Let me go please". He begged. I let him go and walked off. His little ass ain't even worth my time. Gay ass.
Day of Birthday.....
Jordan's Confessional: Today's my big day. Today's the day where I put all the bs behind and move forward with positivity. Even though my brothers hate my guts, I'm gonna kill then with kindness. It's even a bigger day because......well, I'm telling my family that I'm taking my first steps into being a transgender woman. Hopefully they take it well, especially my mom. We're not doing anything big because I didn't want to. I just wanted the people that I loved and the people that support me to be there. It was just friends and family. After getting dressed, I walked in the bathroom to finish the rest of my jush. After doing what i had to do, I took a deep breath, took a shot of confidence and walked down the stairs. When I walked down, I was greeted by everyone with all types of wishes and gifts. The party was hype if I say so myself. I just decided to tell my people after the party. I don't like causing a scene and that's exactly what it'll be if these people are still here. After everyone left, we cleaned up and I called everybody to come meet me in the living room. God, give me the strength.....
Jordan's POV: "Hey guys, I want to first thank you guys for a great 16th birthday party. I had a lot of fun and ma, the food was bomb. Its just something I would like to share with you guys.........I-I-I-I......"I started to speak but got cut off. "Just spit it out". My dad said. "Well..... I'm transgender" I spoke with my head down. "HOLD THE F**K UP. RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN" My dad yelled, standing up walking towards me. "I'm trans....". That's was all I could remember before I was hit in the face multiple times and kicked out with all of my stuff. After that happened......I became homeless.....
(A/N): So how did you like this chapter?
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Queen Sugar
Teen Fiction[ROMANCE DRAMA] Growing up, Ahja was disowned by her family because she wanted to be............Years later, Ahja's life has gotten better but, what will happen when her family try to find their way back into her life? This is a story the follows up...
