Letters to Yuzuru

"I don't want you getting hurt"

"Yuzuru Hanyu, ANA!" The announcers says as Yuzuru shakes hands with Brian and pushes off the wall and skates to the middle of the ice. You clap and smile and watch him get into his beginning pose. You watch as he whispers something and you always wondered what he whispered before he started. You always meant to ask him, but you would always forget. After Yuzuru birthday, you and him went back to Canada so he could practice a bit before Nationals. Even though it wasn't an ISU competition, he knew it was important because the results would help determine the Olympic team. He also wanted to be a two-time National champion and you knew he could do it. When you got home, your mom had a little freakout.

"Mom, I'll be fine"

"How do you know? You even said that you have been getting alot of headaches and you look very weak"

"The headaches aren't that bad. I can handle them" You say to your mom

"Still yet, you never know when something bad may happen. What am I supposed to do if something bad happens? You know I can't go to Japan because of my work. It would be easier if you just stayed at home"

"But mom, Nationals may be the last time I see him skate live. He may not skate at Worlds..." You say feeling the tears form

"Honey... I just want to keep an eye on you. I'm sure Yuzuru would want nothing bad happen to you either"

"He would also want me to be there to cheer him on. Please, mom. I don't want to die knowing that I missed the chance to see him skate live for the last time" You tell her as the tears are falling

"I'm just trying to do what's best for you"

"If you were, you would let me go. Please"

You were sitting behind the judges and you were fairly close to the ice. You watched him as he skated towards the judges table and as he ran his hands through his hair and did his little kick, you could've sworn he was staring straight at you. However, when he did that, all the girls around you were freaking out so you just assumed he wasn't looking at you. Throughout the entire performance, it seemed like he was staring and smiling at you. Not only that, but he also picked up the blue rose you threw on the ice. It was the only thing he picked up. He really confuses you. One day, he could be kissing you on the cheek and smiling at you and then the next, he could be calling you his bestfriend and giving you friendly pat on the backs. Why are boys so confusing? Why can't they make their feelings clear? That would make things 100x easier. He scored really well and by really well, you meant amazing. Too bad it wasn't an international competition. Either way, he was in 1st place and you knew that he could win Nationals for the 2nd time.

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"For a fantastic short program and to a good free skate tomorrow! Cheers!" Brian says as he clinked his glass with you and Yuzuru

"Thank you" Yuzuru says in English and drinks his water

The three of you were at a restaurant to celebrate Yuzuru's performance today and you were all having a good time

"Excuse me, miss. I think you dropped this on the floor" The waiter said as he held your bottle of medicine to help with your headaches and fatigue caused by your cancer.

You quickly took the bottle of pills, thanked the waiter and put it in your purse.

"How did they fall out?" You thought.

"What were those for?" Yuzuru asked staring straight at you.

You looked at Brian and he quickly looked away.